Humor will not be tolerated!! -Portia

So, let's say that your parents immigrated to Japan when you were young, so that you grew up there but were a 1st generation immigrant. Would you say that Japanese people were justified if they didn't want to date you or if they didn't want their daughters dating you? I think it depends on whether ...

I always knew Coke and Pepsi were against the Word of Wisdom!!!1! Probably my favorite part of the article is the picture. http://media.zenfs.com/en/blogs/thesideshow/JackDanielsCoke.jpg Let's just superimpose a picture of evil coke on top of a random picture of even more evil whiskey! That'll prove...

"God took a Daniel once again. And wonder of wonder miracle of miracles led him through the lions' den."

-Fiddler on the Roof, Miracle of Miracles

I'm actually kind of surprised for this answer that nobody realized that missionaries occasionally serve as branch presidents and yet do not get ordained high priests. Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. I thought MSJ might have seen that during her own mission, but I guess not. How common is it?

Last night, my best friend from high school and I gave each other hair wraps, à la middle school. I can't decide whether or not I'm embarrassed.

"For some reason I can't explain I know Saint Peter will call my name."

-Coldplay, Viva la Vida

Even if spelled in the normal fashion, "Chastity" should never be a name. Ever.

"My name is James, that's what mother called me. My name is James. So it's always been."

-James and the Giant Peach

They just changed ecclesiastical endorsements this year to an online system. So Whistler, you might still be okay. It really is just a check the box type thing, and it's very fast.

"Oh Doctor John, what am I doing? What am I doing wrong?"

-Dr. John, Mika

and are we going to discount list songs from now on? I'm in favor of that.

I remember once, the Sunday following youth conference, a girl stood up to bear her testimony. We had gone to Palmyra that year. She emphasized how grateful she was that Joseph Smith had knelt down in the Garden of Gethsemane with a question. I cringed when she said that. Everyone let it slide, whic...

someone ran over his cat. Who may or may not have even been in our ward They let cats go to church now? In all seriousness, though, I agree with you. I don't think your husband ought to approach the cranky man. Doing so would probably just guarantee your husband a cranky shout-out at the next testi...

"Jeremiah Johnson made his way into the mountain."

-Song from the end credits of the movie that played before O Brother, Where Art Thou? when I watched it yesterday

[edit: I have confirmed that this film is fittingly titled Jeremiah Johnson]

"She acts like summer and walks like rain."

-Train, Drops of Jupiter

"Yes, I'm pretty sure that was you John."
"...I'm Brian."

-Flight of the Conchords, Jenny

"Spencer W Kimball, Ezra Taft Benson, Howard W Hunter"

-Latter-day Prophets (are...number one!)

"Yoda, why you bein a playa hata? You know I still must defeat Lord Vader."
"But Luke, not ready are you."

-Star Wars Gangsta Rap

Evening classes have basically kept me from participating in clubs in past semesters. Students for International Development is definitely one I'm looking at for next semester, though. I know you guys are behind the annual Hunger Banquet, but what do you do on a week-to-week basis? The first week I ...

Can you repeat a word, as long as you cite a different song?

I'm not very familiar with the rules. What exactly counts as a song? Does it have to be something you could conceivably download off itunes or find on a CD at Walmart?

Do jingles count? What about widely-known parodies? Or internet auto-tune phenomena?