Humor will not be tolerated!! -Portia

I heard they recently changed the rule on when you're allowed to put in your papers. Sadly, I don't know the details... Yeah, they're letting you put in your papers 120 days before your birthday instead of whatever it used to be...I guess they're just moving toward being less strict about the exact...

My little brother just got his mission call. He reports to the MTC six weeks before his nineteenth birthday and he's English-speaking, so he'll only be in there for like three weeks. Meaning...he'll be in the field before he turns nineteen. I had always thought missionaries were only allowed to go e...

In Japan I saw a toilet that would lift up the seat and turn on a green glow inside the bowl so that when you stumbled into the bathroom during the middle of the night, everything would be all set to go and you didn't even have to turn on the light. A bit off topic, but why in the world do we not h...

This isn't necessarily my favorite dream, but I think it's hilarious.

I was marrying Sheldon Cooper. Yes, that Sheldon Cooper. What a babe.
We discussed Dalton's Law for a while.
When he asked if I loved him, I told him I was still learning what love is. Bahahah.

If you're unhappy with a situation, it would be perfectly reasonable to try to change it. If I were in your position, I might call up the individuals who bought the wrong dresses, explain the miscommunication, apologize a few times, and then politely request that they exchange the dresses they bough...

Bismark, I make that all the time! But I wasn't going to bring it up because it's super ghetto. Anyway. I didn't know you could make cake mix cookies with oil...I've always done 1 cake mix, 1 egg, and 1 tub of cool whip, and then rolled them in powdered sugar before baking. It makes them fluffy and ...

I tried it with butter pecan and with lemon. I thought the butter pecan worked a little better, but lemon was still excellent, especially with little chunks of strawberries mixed into the batter. Craig, you have a long ways to go before you reach my Sandra Lee level of culinary innovation.

I almost asked if you can mix cake mix with just water and make pancakes out of it. The answer is that yes you can and they are awesome. I didn't measure how much water I added, but the pancakes turned out the best when the batter was a little too thick to be easily poured, but still thin enough to ...

Dead Cat wrote:In related news, we'll develop ways other than eating to provide fuel for the human body.

Already done, friend! It's called total parenteral nutrition. It's not more popular because it's more expensive than food and it requires the long-term use of an IV. And because people like eating.

Induced fit mechanisms are so cute! It's like the enzyme and its substrate are snuggling. <3 hexokinase

I can fall asleep ANYWHERE. Anytime. It is so awesome because when I'm bored, I can just turn off.
Other areas of excellence: taking tests, baking pies, and playing Ticket to Ride.

Thanks, bob! My friends were like, "what did she just call you?" and I was like, "uhh don't worry about it."

Oh my. I am in the "more" category. As in, a LOT more. Like, a lot a lot.
Wow. I had no idea I was so...prolific?

Shameless self-promotion:

I'm in a trombone barbershop quartet, and we're playing at the Provo Farmers' Market at 10am this morning! It's going to be pretty sweet! You guys should all come check it out!

Gio, you friended me too. But it wasn't super creepy so I'll let it slide.

I'm not a competitive enough runner that the extra weight of classroom-appropriate modest clothing makes a difference. But I do know that when I'm running in the summer, the heat slows me waaaaay down. You might not believe it until you try it, but in the summertime, a moisture-wicking tank top and ...

Giovanni Schwartz wrote:They put a mayonnaisey thing on gyros in Chicago. It was okay, but not my favorite. Especially the mayo.

For your sake, I hope it was tzatziki and not mayonnaise.

Mayonnaise is so, so gross. Whenever I look at it quivering in its horrible jar, I can't help imagining that it's probably what a big jar of subcutaneous fat would look like. Yuck yuck yuck.

Giovanni Schwartz wrote:Oh, and M&M, just tell him to quit it. Fast, efficient, and effective.

Agreed. If you're allowed to be blunt and honest with anyone, it's your own family.

When I'm sick, I always try to show the disease who's boss. I just drug up, and then I proceed with life as usual--classes, work, exercise. Blooping around only makes you weak!