Humor will not be tolerated!! -Portia

Orbsy: Why, you are absolutely looney tunes! Didn't your momma ever tell you that violence is not the answer? If not, I'll give you a little affirmative action refresher course to try to make up for the deficiencies in your upbringing: Deck the person, take responsibility, people will stand by you i...

really? you dont think the typical woman doesn't still spend a lot of time obsessing over looks? i think you only have to look at the magazines in the grocery store aisle to see that isn't the case. it should never be acceptable to be "overweight." of course neither should it be acceptabl...

Oh bismark, how could you? Everyone knows that I'm only trying to win your approval, since you are the king of cool and I want to be just like you! You're breaking my delicate little heart.

Pre-calc isn't exactly nerdy by the standards of this message board.
The probability that you just impressed anyone can be expressed as the limit of n!/n^(n) as n approaches infinity.

Hey everybody: It's real nice that you're trying to make everyone feel included and all, but fawning over some internet kid's return makes you look sort of pathetic. Unless, of course, you're being sarcastic about it, which is cool, but seems unfitting with y'all's personalities. Hey Bob: Welcome ba...

Gio-Gio, you lil stalker, you! I think you're bluffing, but I'm still flattered to be the object of your lies!

This just reminds me of the way members judge investigators. If they don't seem like the standard, stereotypical LDS member, why fellowship them? In my experience, it's been the investigators who seemed the least stereotypically-LDS who were embraced most quickly by the members of the congregation,...

Katya wrote:

Dragon Lady wrote:I guess I just figure, do I want net blessings or gross blessings?

Do you think it really works that way?

What a diplomatic response to an incredibly self-righteous presumption! Good for you, Katya.

Darth Fedora wrote:Aw, let's be nice to SWKT. If we start acting like jerks too, werf wins.

Gee, you're a sweetheart. But my goal really isn't to make everyone act like jerks. It's to make fun of people who say dumb things!

Dear everyone, You delightful simpletons! Of course I'm not being nice. I just wanted to make sure everyone knew how unpleasantly condescending I can be! Contemptfully, SWKT Parachuter Unpleasantly condescending? You do realize that if unpleasant condescension is equal to hilarity, or sounding like...

Dear everyone,

You delightful simpletons! Of course I'm not being nice. I just wanted to make sure everyone knew how unpleasantly condescending I can be!

Contemptfully,
SWKT Parachuter

Dear Benny boy,
Well, why dontcha cry about it?

BTW, I've totes used bleach and alcohol before with no adverse effects. And if the shell tears easily when it's wet, it would not survive a hearty boiling. Just some food for thought!

XOXO,
SWKT Parachuter

Dear Anti-Smart, I enjoy reading your blog too!!!! It means I get to think about how AWESOME you are even if you haven't commented on here lately. And plus, I don't leave mean comments on your actual blog, so I get to think about how awesome I am for restraining myself!!!! Talk about a win-win!!!!! ...

I use a kissy winky face exclusively ;-*
And every time I do it, I think about how it's secretly kind of giving its recipient the ol' stinkeye.

Oh, and Giovanni: if you get a chance, would you give Craig my fondest regards and tell him that I most certainly will stay classy? Thanks.

Oh man...I totally forgot how awesome it is to throw around those hilariously unwieldy, out-of-context Hamlet quotes! I guess I forgot because nobody's used such elegant humor like that since tenth grade, when we read Hamlet! Thanks guys!

I do enjoy seeing Clinton defeated. I only hope Obama and the other democratic party leaders talk to Hillary and put her in her place so she doesn't use those who voted for her as a key to some power position that she wants. Uhhhhhhhh...in a democratic system, VOTES ARE THE KEYS TO POWER POSITIONS....

Oh, stop. I think we all know that whoever wrote the editorial meant under-represented, not minority. They're interchangeable often enough. Am I supposed to give you a pat on the back for being such attentive readers?

I actually remember seeing that but being too lazy to make fun of it. So I can vouch for bob.
And there's my mitzvah for the year.

Great story. Loved it. btw, it's def a popsicle wrapper, not a sleeve Sarcasm, or true compliment? Am I to be flattered or wary? Yeah, wrapper. That's the word I was looking for. Well, let's think. Was it actually a great story? The answer is no. After like four posts about "nooo, you can't te...