"Your Porn Addiction Isn't Real"

[Portia]

So. This post will take a negative view of the Church's dominant approach to pornography. This is not a defense of its use as such or an attempt to tear any individual down, but some counterarguments against what I think is a HUGELY HARMFUL framework (that certainly didn't exist in the days of lady mags). Fair warning.

The headline pretty much sums it up.

But unscientifically mislabeling these problems as “addictions,” Prause and team argue, helps no one, especially those who actually do want to change their relationship to porn.

So let's drop the preconceived biases and assume that your end game is reducing or eliminating porn usage. Fine by me; that's an individual choice. Then what framework actually solves that?

But even subjects in the study who experienced “major problems” related to their porn usage didn’t display this same LLP pattern when viewing sexual images. In fact, as the researchers note, they “showed decreased brain reactions when shown the sexual images, rather than heightened activity”—the opposite of what one would expect to find in an addict’s brain.

Some self-described “porn addicts” may experience legitimate problems as a result of their habits, the researchers are quick to clarify, but neurologically speaking, they do not appear to have the same relationship to porn as a substance addict has to their drug of choice.

THIS IS REALLY REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT.

Look, compulsive behaviors freaking exist. I feel like I would know! But misleading psychology destroys psyches, individuals, families, and communities!

I hate that language has been co-opted for some kind of, I don't know, political point.

If you feel you have a problematic relationship with pornography or some other aspect of your sexuality, um, maybe see a therapist that's not mislabeling you as an addict.

I'm an atheist, and I felt I had a problematic relationship with some aspects of my sexual and romantic relationships, and calling me a SEX ADDICT when I wasn't would have been stupid and counterproductive. Once I was able to be more self-aware about what drove me in a markedly obsessive way from one relationship to the next, I was able to, you know, stop.

An addict can't just stop. As it says, your brain will light up in unique and identifiable ways.

Compulsive behaviors aren't easy to stop (I have a tendency to use so-called "retail therapy") but I've seen plenty of substance abuse, 'kay? Perhaps a tiny minority of porn users have the brains of "addicts:" I would be shocked if there weren't some serious co-occurring mental issues and that that would be the least of a long list of problems.

I know this is a touchy subject. I have ten years of extraordinarily fraught conversations around pretty much any side of this issue (porn, not luxury retail) imaginable that you can think; I promise I don't think anyone whose relationship or self-worth is taking a beating from this is a "prude" or something.

I just feel like this meme or whatever damages young kids and the happiest people I know are able to develop healthy attitudes to sexuality as they reach adulthood: Mormon, not, in between.

Reference