friendzone of all friendzones

[Portia]

Yeah, you're just friends. Carl here would have made his move, or you would have out of sheer resistance to inertia. I'd feel upset for being led on, unless it was a case where no relationship was going to happen.

No kissing? No flirting? No hand-holding? He's either gay or not interested. On the slim chance it's neither of the above, I'd definitely call him out on it. Seems like a waste of time to continue as is.

[Whistler]

no, I think he could be interested! some guys are scared to start a relationship.

[Marduk]

It never ceases to surprise me how important handholding is in the BYU dating world.

[Portia]

It never ceases to surprise me how important handholding is in the BYU dating world.

LOL.

I wonder if he thinks he's a "nice guy," too. :-P

[TheBlackSheep]

We all know what a subversive feminist I am (http://theboard.byu.edu/questions/57818/), but at times like these, I just want to say you can hold someone's hand first even if you are a woman. You can ask guys out, cuddle them, hold their hands, and even kiss them, given normal implied consent rules. If it fits within your moral code, you can even initiate sex. It's okay! And if they freak out on you for being too forward or whatever, you know you probably don't want to date them. Win-win. If you want to live in a world without slut shaming and where dudes are allowed to be sensitive and not dominant all the time, here's one way. Give voice to your attractions (again, with consent, without creepiness, and without doing anything that goes against your personal morals).

I, the Black Sheep, have been known to do such things at times. I have been called "direct" as a slur but also as a compliment. It helps me know who to date, and it means I get to have a say in what the pacing is like in my physical relationships other than just waiting and being demure. We don't all have to be demure all the time!

Or you can TALK TO THE DUDE. Of course this doesn't always work because some people are liars. I'd say you're safe taking him at his word in this instance, however.

[Portia]

Or you can TALK TO THE DUDE. Of course this doesn't always work because some people are liars. I'd say you're safe taking him at his word in this instance, however.

Yeah, that's what makes this a super weird non-relationship.

[TheBlackSheep]

But I mean. You've been on a bunch of dates. You've cuddled. He keeps asking you out. YOU LIKE HIM. Just count to three and grab the dude's hand and see what happens. You want to, it's appropriate, and you will doubtless get information. What's better than that?

[Whistler]

as a fellow hand-grabber I say YES