Not dating because of trauma

[NerdGirl]

http://theboard.byu.edu/questions/84671/

What an awful situation for this poor guy to be in. I hate all of the relationship shaming that goes on at BYU. Hate it so much. In case the questioner happens to read the board board, can I suggest trying out a family ward instead of a BYU singles ward? I did that the last two years I was at BYU (as a single BYU student) and it was so much better for my mental health. Even when you live in BYU approved housing, you are still within the boundaries of a local family ward (or just regular ward, as I like to call them), and you can transfer your records there and get an ecclesiastical endorsement and it's totally legit. And I am so sorry that all of this shaming is happening to you.

[TheBlackSheep]

The shaming really is terrible. It isn't his fault and it isn't okay.

Should he decide to not go the family ward route (which I think is probably the best idea), can I suggest he just lies? I'm constantly telling people to speak their truths and be authentic and all, but this guy doesn't owe anyone (especially his shame-y bishop) an explanation of his trauma to justify his life choices. Just like. Or, maybe better, just refuse to participate and say nothing at all.

[Portia]

I'd be interested to hear the men's perspective, if they've experienced anything similar. I was and am a super-active dater, but (1) still didn't think it was anyone else's *** *** business, (2) these activities always humiliated me and made my dating life more complicated (for instance, the guy who made his move the day he gave his mission farewell speech after months of best friendship).

Is being publicly called out for your dating frequency even effective?

[Cognoscente]

I'd recommend this attitude with his bishop. It's probably for the best I'm no longer a writer.

[Portia]

I'd recommend this attitude with his bishop. It's probably for the best I'm no longer a writer.

+1

[Zedability]

Hahahahaha.

[Portia]

Don't give the bishop ideas of what to ask the guy! :P

[Digit]

Sounds like something for someone with a flair for baseball stats "There goes Beau Henry. His RBI (restaurants been in) is 17! I want to see him with Jenny McGuire. Her ERA (eating requests accepted) is 21."

[NerdGirl]

Cog: hahaha yes!!

And totally agree with TBS re: just lying if he does stay in his ward. Not anyone's business.