Hey there Still Tense! Thanks for writing in to clarify.
Your situation sounds very frustrating. -_- Unlike our friends the active Board writers, I've had a handful of serially-monogamous relationships, one night stands, and sexual relationships in between, and first things first: I might have leaped for the exit or even cheated long before the time elapsed between these two questions. So, kudos, for being a more empathetic/honest person than me!
It jumps out to me that you are the one making all the effort to change, here. He sounds like he has control issues. Very "my way or the highway."
It seems like both of you have absorbed damaging notions about what sex "should" be instead of what it IS for the two of you. I think he needs to look in the mirror and help you be happy!
Wham bam thank you ma'am isn't going to cut it, dudes. -_- I know that not all men have the emotional and sexual development of an 18-year-old (which tends to be my type), that there are many factors that can contribute to natural variation in libido, but he just seems so ...
... Smug. Like he gets off, when HE wants. -_-
ETA - I've never been married, and I hope I would take those vows at least somewhat seriously and work through any conflicts around sex. I'm a big believer in figuring out sexual compatibility before marriage, but I fully recognize that could be very challenging in an LDS framework.
I stand by my assertion that YOU are doing a lot of the emotional "work" here and nothing is wrong with YOUR desires. Women in and out of the Mormon church absorb that message, and I think it is misleading at best, damaging at worst.
87286 - husband who sucks at foreplay and compromising
Moderator: Marduk