# 90086 - friend zoned in the nerd zone

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# 90086 - friend zoned in the nerd zone

Post by Portia » Mon Jul 17, 2017 4:26 pm

Putting yourself out there in an acting class is ballsy -- and I don't think is a stereotypical "nerd" activity at all! My parents met in an acting class in community college or something, and neither of them were nerds. (My bio dad totally is a nerd and never would have wasted a credit hour on acting, but that's another story...)

A guy I am really hung up on at the moment has a lot of geeky interests -- think pop culture podcasting, San Diego Comic Con, GoT and LotR, and I saw this as a feature, not a bug. If you can pair these traits with what I might call "socially dominant" or at least "socially well-adjusted" ones, then I don't think you're doomed to be alone. OTOH, I just spent a weekend away with my ex, whom I still have strong feelings for and find attractive, but the man bats a thousand with women. He definitely thinks there's "something wrong with him" and then that seems to cause a vicious cycle of depression. I like him, but I fell for him before we even went out, and he does have some ... socially quirky traits. But so do I, I'm just a lot more Type A and can adjust how I act in different scenarios, including dating ones.

And the friend zone ain't about you: Dan Savage recently had a great and NSFW podcast episode about how you shouldn't try to side-door your way into a woman's affections through friendship, because that makes your friendship look transactional. Ask women out! If you go to BYU, you haven't completely succumbed to hookup culture and ambiguity!

(98006 was my old ZIP code - it's an anagram of the question number! 90086 is in Chinatown in Los Angeles. Anyway)