what we talk about when we talk about constructive criticism

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Portia
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Joined: Mon Apr 02, 2007 11:06 am
Location: Zion

what we talk about when we talk about constructive criticism

Post by Portia » Wed Mar 28, 2018 2:38 am

I vehemently disagree with the advice given by Alta in this answer. http://100hourboard.org/questions/91015/

I would be disturbed and angry to learn that I had been reverse-negged by a partner who decided to turn my faults into fake praise.

I do believe in the research that you need to have a much higher ratio of positive than negative interactions for a solid marriage. But this seems like weird passive-aggressive stuff and also seems particularly gendered. The thought of a guy actually doing this makes me think he would be a manipulative weirdo narcissist with an agenda.

I'm sure our roles in our families of origin, other life goals, and general temperaments influence this, but HOLY CRAP I WOULD BE SO ANNOYED JUST USE YOUR WORDS

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Portia
Posts: 5186
Joined: Mon Apr 02, 2007 11:06 am
Location: Zion

Re: what we talk about when we talk about constructive criti

Post by Portia » Wed Mar 28, 2018 2:42 am

https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-5-couple-types/

I think that it is safe to say that my preferred couple style is #2. :-) One day I want to go to their workshops in Seattle, they are my favorite marriage researchers.