Mental illness is dumber

[Marduk]

I've kinda gone the opposite approach, and I think it can break those cycles fairly well. (Of course, some of it probably has to do with the fact that I generally enjoy cooking, but I think even people who don't like cooking can make this work.)

To be specific, I treat myself with one of my favorite meals. I go to the grocery store and select good ingredients, I set aside time to prepare it, I take care and effort at each step of the meal, etc. And I'm talking a big, Sunday dinner type meal, even realizing that much of the food will not be eaten (that day.) I'll also put aside everything else, even forgetting homework assignments or other things to prepare. When I'm doing this kind of cooking, it is the ONLY thing I am doing. So it works both to get me to be interested in eating, as well as to distract me from other things for a little while.

I've found this approach works better for me, because eating cheap or simple things gives me no pleasure, and so I have little motivation to do it.

[Violet]

Yeah, no. I like cooking and that approach doesn't work for me. Usually my depression is coupled with anxiety which makes spending anything that could possibly be excess money just about impossible for me.

Instant oatmeal is one of my go-tos, so I don't know if this is any help on the effort level.

I try to keep a good variety of easy options on hand. Yogurt, bagels or English muffins, string cheese, granola bars, and apples are all good. Cottage cheese and triscuits are the not so great, but still work options. Dried fruits like apricots and cranberries make me feel less like I'm going to die of my poor eating habits.

When I'm feeling moderately okay, I try to make soup or something freezable ahead of time. I currently have four containers of a sweet potato cauliflower soup in my freezer. I also have Trader Joe's filled pastas in there as an easy option. Also, sometimes just having a bag of spinach and a bottle of good salad dressing motivates me enough to eat a vegetable.

But really, granola bars and yogurt kept me going one semester. Minimal effort.

[Whistler]

Marduk, I feel like I definitely cook more when I have a plan for it. Then I actually look forward to dinner!

[Portia]

http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-cond ... q-20058315

I think we've talked about PMDD before here, but hoo boy, I swear I go non mens rea for about 24 hours every month*.

*Which apparently is 26 days, now?

[Integrating Editor]

Thanks for the recommendations on food, guys. After eight weeks of being set on suicide and a ten day hospitalization, I'm free again from both the hospital and the suicidality. The doctors now suspect bipolar. Some are hesitant to diagnose yet, given that I haven't had any hypomanic or manic episodes, but they are still putting me on bipolar meds, including lithium. Given my age, they think I will fully qualify in the next few years. Another doctor has pointed out that my most recent episode meets the criteria for a mixed episode, which could, with my previous major depressive episodes, qualify me as having Bipolar I. What fun.

[Portia]

Thanks for the recommendations on food, guys. After eight weeks of being set on suicide and a ten day hospitalization, I'm free again from both the hospital and the suicidality. The doctors now suspect bipolar. Some are hesitant to diagnose yet, given that I haven't had any hypomanic or manic episodes, but they are still putting me on bipolar meds, including lithium. Given my age, they think I will fully qualify in the next few years. Another doctor has pointed out that my most recent episode meets the criteria for a mixed episode, which could, with my previous major depressive episodes, qualify me as having Bipolar I. What fun.

Woah. Thanks for the update. I hope that the lithium helps. (Remember that article about lithium in our tap water in the NYTimes a few weeks ago?) Hugs.

[Katya]

Thanks for the recommendations on food, guys. After eight weeks of being set on suicide and a ten day hospitalization, I'm free again from both the hospital and the suicidality. The doctors now suspect bipolar. Some are hesitant to diagnose yet, given that I haven't had any hypomanic or manic episodes, but they are still putting me on bipolar meds, including lithium. Given my age, they think I will fully qualify in the next few years. Another doctor has pointed out that my most recent episode meets the criteria for a mixed episode, which could, with my previous major depressive episodes, qualify me as having Bipolar I. What fun.

<3

[Emiliana]

Thanks for the recommendations on food, guys. After eight weeks of being set on suicide and a ten day hospitalization, I'm free again from both the hospital and the suicidality. The doctors now suspect bipolar. Some are hesitant to diagnose yet, given that I haven't had any hypomanic or manic episodes, but they are still putting me on bipolar meds, including lithium. Given my age, they think I will fully qualify in the next few years. Another doctor has pointed out that my most recent episode meets the criteria for a mixed episode, which could, with my previous major depressive episodes, qualify me as having Bipolar I. What fun.

Glad you're doing better. My husband spent about the same amount of time in the psychiatric ward when he was in college and to this day he sees it as one of the best things that ever happened to him.

[Emiliana]

So, I've been borderline depressed for a week or so (seasonal affective disorder FTW!). Then on Thursday, several students at my school were involved in a horrible accident at lunch and one died. I didn't know the girl personally (I think I might have seen her around, but that's it), but for some reason I'm taking this pretty hard. I feel guilty about feeling so sad when so many other people who ACTUALLY KNEW HER have much more of a reason to, even though I know there's no point in comparing my feelings to anyone else's, blah blah blah. Then I got drunk last night and that didn't help anything.

I have a huge pile of papers that need to be graded by Tuesday morning and I don't want to.

[TheBlackSheep]

Oh Emiliana, I'm so sorry. A couple of months ago, a second cousin of mine that I didn't know personally committed suicide, and that knocked the wind right out of me, with the same types of conflict. And I'm an emotional drinker, too. Not that I'm a problem drinker by any means, but still. I hope you feel better soon.

[Emiliana]

I generally do an okay job of not drinking (or not drinking much) when I'm depressed, but my coworker's husband kept refilling my wine glass and I didn't have the wherewithal to tell him no thanks, so I just kept drinking until finally my husband cut me off. Yeah. Not my proudest moment.

[Portia]

My birthday present to myself is going to be getting my butt back in therapy. Whether I need to find someone more affordable, talk about payment options, take a crap job while I look for better ones, ten days straight of constant anxiety is one of those "do not pass go, do not collect $200" moments.

I think my Relationship Upgrade must have been what set it off. It really seems like I'm completely alone -- when my intended isn't making objectively impulsive, misguided Grand Declarations about his career (that alone would have been enough to give me a nervous breakdown in and of itself), he's certainly not making Plans. My mom is dead, so there goes the "fairy tale" and it just seems like my relationship isn't really considered legitimate by my family (who have been particularly unsupportive lately, even by their historically low standards). I at least got him to agree to a mutual wedding-planning hiatus until we are both financially and emotionally stable. At least I haven't run away, fallen in love with someone else, or called it off, so um, progress. I think even if I did call it off doing so in the heat of the moment of "it's a good thing there are laws against murder" is, well, y'know. Dramatic, or whatever.

You can't Google search your way out of a nervous breakdown. :P

[TheBlackSheep]

I'm so over this. Maybe I expect there to be too much of a magic bullet where mental health treatment is concerned or something, but I hate that some life circumstance can join forces with my mental illness and expand and eat the rest of my life. It's better than it used to be (I think), but grahrahghrkjlahgkrlahghrja.

And, granted, I've stopped it (so far) from getting to that really terrible, really dark place, but this still isn't fun and I don't want to do it anymore.

[TheBlackSheep]

I don't know who to ask for help. I feel desperate. I don't know how people make it to old age.

[yayfulness]

Not a fun place to be in. I'm sorry. I want to offer help but I honestly have no idea what that would mean right now.

I've wondered the same thing sometimes.

[Whistler]

I don't know who to ask for help. I feel desperate. I don't know how people make it to old age.

awww, I wish I lived closer. You can come crash at my house if you are still desperate, but if it were me I think I'd just want to stay home.

[Katya]

I don't know who to ask for help. I feel desperate. I don't know how people make it to old age.

<3

[bobtheenchantedone]

Going back to therapy is the worst. I was doing just fine pretending all this stuff wasn't here. Why you gotta make me pull back the curtain and effing deal with it? I hate everything.

[TheBlackSheep]

I'm doing better. Thanks for the support, folks.

As a result of doing better, I got to a doctor and she switched my meds. I've only ever been on SSRIs, and she put me on Wellbutrin/bupropion, which is an atypical antidepressant (works on noreprenephrine and maybe dopamine rather than serotonin). Anybody done this before?

[Emiliana]

I'm doing better. Thanks for the support, folks.

As a result of doing better, I got to a doctor and she switched my meds. I've only ever been on SSRIs, and she put me on Wellbutrin/bupropion, which is an atypical antidepressant (works on noreprenephrine and maybe dopamine rather than serotonin). Anybody done this before?

I'm glad you're doing better.

I'm on Cymbalta, which is an SNRI. The biggest difference for me is a difference in motivation and energy level. On Celexa (SSRI), even on good days I wanted to sleep 10-12 hours a day and had trouble doing non-urgent tasks.