Making me feel inadequate by comparison.

[ahem.]

So. Someone from BYU called me today to ask me to contribute to scholarships and such. I think she was trying to find specific scholarships that I might have a personal connection to so I would feel more obligated to give. She asked what I had studied, and when I said "history," she assumed I was teaching history. When I said I wasn't, she asked if I was in law school, then. Like these were the only logical paths for my life, and what else could I have possibly done with my degree?

Now admittedly, those are probably the two most popular paths for history majors. But it still kind of pissed me off. In my mind, the conversation stretching before me consisted of her guessing every last possible career she thought I should be perusing, with me correcting her every time until I finally had to admit I am working a minimum-wage job in the food industry. I was embarrassed. So I hung up on her. Well, actually, I just abruptly ended the conversation. And then threw my phone on the floor.

Part of me feels guilty, because she's just doing her job and probably following a script designed to guilt me into giving them money they need to help people.

But the other part is still indignant that she called me up, wasted my time, and made me feel bad about myself. I know that just because I'm not utilizing my degree in any obvious way, doesn't mean I don't have value. But really, for the time being, it will be better for all of us not to compare me to other recent college grads.

Just... don't.

[Dragon Lady]

The scriptures say, "Thou shalt not judge" which could also be interpreted, "Thou shalt not compare." Stop comparing yourself to other college grads. The only person you can compare yourself to is you. Period. Don't let any other person try to force a bad comparison on you, either. Even inadvertently. You're doing great and you're wonderful. Just ask God. He'll tell you.

[Craig Jessop]

Ha, ahem, I'm a history major and my mom thinks that those are the only options available to me. She actually lectures me about it frequently, though less so now that I've figured out a path I'd like to take. Though I do want to teach, I also am perfectly aware that there are other options available. (I'd like -- as in my dream is -- a terminal masters in public history, but we'll see. I'd be perfectly happy teaching high school or at a community college.)

[Dragon Lady]

I was an Ancient Near Eastern Studies major where the only chance I had to get a job in my field was to get a PhD and even then I only would have a 1 in 3 chance of a job. To be honest, I really, really didn't care that much about getting a job in my field. I studied that subject because it interested me. Period. It was the first major to hold my interest for more than a half a semester (trust me. I went through a LOT of majors. Like… 12) and I still love the subject. But not the subject the way it'd be taught in grad school. In fact, my last few classes that were geared towards preparing me for grad school were my least favorite. I never had any plans on getting a job in my field. [shrug] I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing. I think school helps teach us to learn and you can still continue to learn new things, new jobs, new topics after college. Which means you can get a job in something completely different and who cares?

[UnluckyStuntman]

Those phone calls are the WORST. Sometimes I feel bad for the kids who actually make the calls, but they always seem a little too zealous as they try to squeeze money from you. I think I told the last kid who called to go to hell because I'd just taken out a loan for my grad program and wasn't interested in donating to a school where I was still paying tuition. The kid just wouldn't quit.

I totally agree with what Dragon Lady said - not everyone gets a job in their field and many don't stay in the workforce at all after graduating. It's more important that you learned something of value (TO YOU!) and that you are comfortable with your current situation - it doesn't matter what other students chose to do post-graduation, because they aren't you.

[Katya]

I've been on the other end of those phone calls and it's very hard work. (I only lasted a semester at that job.) That said, this person screwed up pretty royally. Some people have a very limited worldview and can't relate to anyone whose life or experiences fall outside that. I hope that a supervisor was listening in to her conversation (they do spot checks) and can pull her aside to explain how she screwed up.

I graduated with a degree in French (not French teaching), with no idea of what I wanted to do with it and with no plans to go to grad school (which surprised my extended family). It took me a while to figure out what I wanted to be when I grew up and even longer to put that plan into action, AND I wasn't in the middle of a massive recession. I'm in a better place, now, and I don't regret any of my choices along the way. You'll be OK, too.

[Sky Bones]

This seems like an appropriate place to share this, but a good friend of mine graduated with a degree in history and is currently in dental school. I've always thought it's a good thing to be well-rounded when it comes to education anyway... You just have to open your mind up to the possibilities and be creative.

[TheAnswerIs42]

Yeah, telemarketing of any sort is bad, but I really wish BYU would stop calling people to ask for money. To be perfectly honest, I wouldn't mind donating. But I don't ever want to get on their lists, because I know they will call me every month or two if I give them an inch. I guess it must work for them, or they wouldn't do it - but honestly, who wants to be pestered about this?

And don't worry, ahem. - we've got your back. Don't let that stranger get you down!

[Katya]

42, You can ask to be taken off their calling list (although you have to be very clear, because they don't like doing it). Also, when I was working there, we weren't supposed to bother people more than once a year, no matter how much or how little they gave. (I.e., if they said "I already donated this year"--even if we didn't have a record of it--we were supposed to thank them, end the call, and click a button that would take them off the list for the year.)

[Dragon Lady]

I've donated before and I think I've only ever been called once.

[thebigcheese]

You know what really ticked me off? They called me for donations before I'd even graduated! I was just like, uhhh, I don't even have a job...and I'm not an alumnus yet, so GO AWAY.

But I digress. Back on subject -- people in general are basically retarded when it comes to discussing other majors. It's just one of those things you have to deal with. They try to guess because it makes them feel like they can relate to you, like they understand what you're studying and what it's all about. Or they'll just ask dumb questions because they can't think of better questions to ask.

I studied psychology because I want to go into an obscure field that you've never heard of (user experience design). The people who work in the industry told me that psychology would give me a great knowledge base, so that's why I picked that major. End of story. It's basically impossible that anyone would guess that on their own (they're more likely to guess "you just wanted an easy major" or "you're going to grad school to become a counselor"), so I've become accustomed to telling people that before they even get the chance to ask all the ridiculous questions.

[Dragon Lady]

You know what really ticked me off? They called me for donations before I'd even graduated! I was just like, uhhh, I don't even have a job...and I'm not an alumnus yet, so GO AWAY.

That's when I got my one phone call. But guess what. According to my friend that worked in the alumni office, as soon as you take one class, you are considered an alumnus.

[Whistler]

User experience design sounds cool... can you tell me more about it?

[thebigcheese]

Sure. It's basically designing our interactions with different products, to make them easy, efficient, and intuitive to use. For example, designing a user-friendly interface on your cell phone. Or a website. Or your washing machine. Or your car's dashboard. Or a medical device. Or...a billion other things.

Depending on your specialization, you may or may not need a master's degree, so I'm still trying to figure that one out for myself. Some examples of advanced degrees you might pursue include: human factors and ergonomics, usability, user experience research and design, human factors psychology, human-computer interaction, and more!

[Whistler]

that sounds really cool