Praying in Restaurants

[NerdGirl]

http://theboard.byu.edu/questions/63198/

I'm already bored with the epidural thread, so let's have some new hate. I actually think it would be less awkward to pray out loud and get everyone in your table in on it than it is to close your eyes and sit there silently for a long time praying while everyone else sits around uncomfortably and wonders if they're going to go to hell because they're not doing the same. I hate it when people do that. If you want to pray before you eat, why can't you just be like, "Hey, dining companions, how about let's have a blessing on the food? I'll say it!" I feel like I'm intruding on some private spiritual moment when someone is blessing their food but has to do it silently so I don't hear what they're saying.

[Yarjka]

I used to work at Taco Bell, and there was a family of eight that would come in from time to time and have family prayer before the meal. It wasn't too awkward for them, because they were a family and they were used to it, but I got to observe from a distance behind the counter, and let me tell you, it was extremely awkward for everyone else.

I went on a date once where the girl did that silent prayer before we ate our meal. I felt like a bad person the rest of the date. I also never asked her out again.

In my MTC district, we had a missionary who used to pray before he ate anything. Give him a breathmint, he'd say a prayer before putting it in his mouth. Drinking fountain - he'd say a prayer before taking a drink. It reminded me of people doing the sign of the cross all the time.

[Emiliana]

Maybe it's because I grew up in the Bible Belt, going out to eat with other families from church all the time, but I've never thought it was awkward to pray at a restaurant. Typically we would wait for everyone to be served and the waiters to be out of the way, and all pray together. I don't initiate it, because that's not my style, nor do I obviously bow my head to pray if no one else initiates it. Now I'm going to feel all self-conscious about it, though.

Are any of the respondents to this question from the Bible Belt?

[NerdGirl]

I'm not from the Bible Belt, but I've seen big groups pray together in restaurants before and it never seemed awkward. It's kind of a nice idea, actually. Very different from the closing your eyes and silently praying while the other people at the table sit around and wait for you to finish.

[Dragon Lady]

Most people I know who bow their heads and silently pray don't do it so that other people have to wait for them. Really, that only happens when there are only 2-3 at a table. More than that and you can easily pull it off while placing your napkin on your lap and most don't even realize that you've done anything.

Prayers are between you and God. I don't see why you have to make anyone else at the table wait for you to say your prayer and I've never really seen it as awkward.

[Katya]

Prayers are between you and God. I don't see why you have to make anyone else at the table wait for you to say your prayer and I've never really seen it as awkward.

The pray-er isn't making people wait to eat, but they are making people wait to talk to or interact with them, which is especially awkward if you tried to start talking to them and didn't realize they were praying.

[SMP]

I think we (Momons) pray too much. Do we really need to say a prayer before playing basketball, or serving refreshments, etc?

[Craig Jessop]

I'm not going to lie, if somebody said "hey, dining companions, how about let's have a blessing on the food? I'll say it!" to me in a restaurant I would probably laugh them to scorn. And eat while they prayed. I just think it is so awkward. It's different in a private home, but everybody praying in Ihop is soooo awkward.

[Carrapicho]

My husband and I pretty much always pray in restaurants, though we always wait until the server has brought the food and left. If we're in a large group, we just say a prayer between the two of us and the others can do whatever. These prayers are always really short--just a quick thanks and plea that the food be good to our bodies. Usually less than 15 seconds.

I've never felt awkward about it. I'm not sure why that is--am I just socially unaware or something? Should I feel awkward? Should we stop praying because it might make other people feel awkward? What do you all think?

[Marduk]

SMP, if ANYTHING needs a prayer, it is church basketball.

[Yarjka]

There is definitely some awkwardness, but not enough that I think you should stop the habit of praying silently if it's what you do and what you feel comfortable doing. I would never feel comfortable doing it, but I think prayer in general is pretty awkward, so there's that.

I do think there's a difference between eating alone, eating with family, eating with friends, and eating with strangers. I'd rank the awkwardness from lowest to highest on that scale.

[mic0]

How often do you eat with strangers? Do you just mean you are the only person you know in the restaurant, because then it isn't like you are sitting with them.

[Yarjka]

How often do you eat with strangers? Do you just mean you are the only person you know in the restaurant, because then it isn't like you are sitting with them.

By strangers, I meant anyone that you wouldn't call your friend. So, business meetings, large groups where you only know a couple of people, blind dates, things like that.

[mic0]

Oooh, okay.

Anyway, I didn't answer the original question but I think that it is always awkward for someone when there is praying is public, but it is almost never inappropriate. I guess if you are with a bunch of staunch atheists and are trying to be controversial, then maybe.

[NerdGirl]

I've really only ever experienced the silent close your eyes and sit there prayer when I was with one or two other people, so maybe that's why I think it's so awkward. It's like the food comes, and then the person I'm with closes their eyes and prays for a while and I'm thinking, "Well, I shouldn't start eating until they stop. That would be rude. But if they wanted to say a prayer, why didn't they ask me if we could say one together? Do they not like praying with me? Okay, they've been praying for a while. When are they going to stop? It's been going on for a long time. What if something is wrong?" And if it's a group of three of us, the other person and I are looking at each other trying to silently figure out what we should do. Can we start eating? What's going on? If I were at a table with 8 or 10 people and someone did the silent prayer, it probably wouldn't be nearly as awkward.

[Dead Cat]

As always, Divine Comedy is a harbinger of truth.

Silliness aside, I find praying over food in public not very awkward. Does anyone else use the acronym, BYO (bless your own)? It's a tactic I use, especially if people come to the table or start eating at different times.

[Democritus]

I'll never forget one particular interview trip. The hiring managers took me out to lunch, and after ordering and receiving our food, I was prepared to dig in (I find praying over food in public awkward). Right before I bit into my sandwich, I caught one of the managers silently praying out of the corner of my eye. He certainly wasn't LDS. In fact, I never did get to find out what his religion was, as he had to leave early for a meeting. I'd be lying if I didn't feel like I had somehow shortchanged my religion by not having the guts to pray in front of potential bosses--instead, I got showed up by one of my bosses of a different faith!

I still feel too awkward to pray at restaurants in public, regardless.

[Commander Keen]

...Why does everyone care about what others will think of a personal prayer? If you want to do it, do it.

If I do pray in public, I'll just kinda put my hands together nonchalantly, utter a silent prayer, and go on. Half the time I don't even close my eyes. Prayers are what you make 'em.

Now I'll fade back into the shadows.

[chillygator]

I would feel weird praying that my IHOP chocolate chip pancakes with side of bacon drenched in syrup be good for my body.

[Dead Cat]

You don't have to pray that it'll be good for you--you can always ask for it to be delicious and that you'll enjoy it.