Boy woes

[Wisteria]

Looking for different perspectives on this.
A kid I used to know in high school, who I have been Facebook friend with for a while, recently began chatting with me via FB (something I normally don't do). I don't know that we were ever friends per se, but he was in my home ward and he was funny and nice, if a little quirky (drama quirky, he was in all the plays). I found out that he's in Salt Lake, like me, and I asked him if he'd like to join me and my friends for activities sometimes. The offer was made in friendship, he's not my type, but he's the kind of person that's fun to have around. He hesitated before letting me know that he's not LDS any more, and I told him that wasn't a problem, he could still come do things with us.
However, I'm a little concerned that he might be thinking that when I said that, I was also indicting that it wouldn't matter to me in terms of going on dates, as well. And I'm one of those girls who chooses to draw the dating line at "I only go out with men who I could potentially marry, and I'm going to marry a temple-worthy priesthood holder." He hasn't come on really strong, but he's started conversations with things like "you're pretty," which also makes me wince a little bit and hope that his social skills haven't sunk.
So I guess I'm just concerned about actually inviting him to do something now lest it give him the wrong idea, but I also don't want him to think that I decided that since he left the church, I'm not going to invite him to do things. He really hesitated before he told me that, like he thought that I thought it would be a reason to not be friends, which is kind of sad to me and I hope it's not indicative of experiences he's had with other people.
Any thoughts? Anyone want to tell me I'm overreacting? Or anything else?

[Whistler]

he's probably lonely and feeling kind of awkward. I'd suggest inviting him to large group gatherings and introducing him to a few people? Or just blocking him on facebook chat (it's possible; you just have to make a group to never be online for).

[Wisteria]

Both very good suggestions, Whistler. I shall do both of them. I would feel not nice to not invite him to *anything* after I was the one who suggested it anyway, and I will make sure it's a large group.

[Marduk]

I certainly wouldn't block him on chat. Don't do anything to antagonize him. It sounds to me like he's mostly reaching out for friendship, not courtship. Just continue to be friends with him, and if he ever presses the issue, say exactly what you've said here; that you won't date anyone you wouldn't marry, and you wouldn't marry someone who wasn't a worthy member of this church.

[Katya]

I agree with Marduk that you don't need to tell him you won't date him until it's more clear that he's actually interested in dating you. And if you don't like chatting on FB at all, you can always turn that feature off for everyone. (That's what I did.)

[Whistler]

yeah, I guess I don't feel bad about blocking people on FB chat because I'm not especially fond of it. Most people who know me well enough to chat have my gchat.

[C is for]

If he's drama quirky and not LDS anymore, you may not be his type either.

Not sure about starting conversations with "you're pretty." That is weird. But I would continue to be friendly and then just stop his advances if necessary. (Actually, I would stop being friendly, but that's because my default is unfriendly and I have a short friendliness tolerance, but it's not what I suggest.)

[krebscout]

This is pure wild speculation, but the first idea I had when reading that was, "He's gay, and he thinks she's asking him out." I think that could explain his behavior...or he could just not be sure how to handle the situation.

C4 just posted before this made it up, but I think "You're pretty" could be a cover-up if he's not ready to come out (to her) yet.

[Wisteria]

Well, the funny thing is that I thought my chat status was set t unavailable, but it keeps turning back on somehow. It doesn't reset every time you log out of FB, does it?
Hm. Interesting theory, krebscout. I have no idea. It wouldn't really change anything from my end except maybe make me more likely to invite him to a big group activity since I wouldn't be afraid he wanted to ask me out. But I think I will stick with the plan of inviting him to something when the opportunity arises and then if weird or awkward things happen, at least there will be a group of people as a buffer and I'll know that he probably wouldn't jive in my group anyway.