Calling Home: Cultural Question I Maybe Shouldn't Ask?

[wryness]

I'm at a school student-teaching some young teenagers. One of my classes has been very VERY disrespectful and is kind of stinky right now; every day is a challenge. The students' "real" teacher has helped me out by making a few phone calls to parents. I am going to make another phone call next week to the parents of a student who has been quite disruptive and sometimes rude to me.

So, here's the question, one I maybe shouldn't ask. The student is Latino (probably Mexican-American), and even though I served a Spanish-speaking mission there are still a lot of things I don't know about the culture of Spanish-speaking people. I want my call home to be really effective, and I'm not sure whether it would be better to talk to the student's father or to his mother. (I think I have phone numbers for both of them.) I know that really it comes down to the individual student's perspective and reactions--for me, for instance, I'd probably be struck with a little more righteous fear if my teacher called my mom, rather than my dad. However, I also know that people sometimes have certain cultural expectations about men or women or which parent has "supreme" authority or things like that. Sometimes.

So, people who have a better knowledge of general Latino culture than I do--do you think this student would be more likely to hacer caso (obey and pay attention) to his mom, or to his dad? Or is it just terrible that I am even asking this question?

To quote Brutus, please don't hate me.

[Marduk]

To be honest, your question is really unanswerable. Some information that would be helpful is knowing how many generations the particular family has been in the country for; traditional hispanic culture dictates that the mother does most or all of the child rearing, although sometimes a father helps in acting as a disciplinarian. However, since that isn't the model in this country, many families pick up more equal shares of child rearing, and the more generations they've been in the country for, the more likely it is that this will be the case.

Were I in the situation, I'd call the mother. The father may or may not be particularly concerned with his child's behavior, particularly if the child is female and the issue isn't a sexual one. The mother will almost certainly be concerned with the child's behavior, regardless of the gender of the child.

[Portia]

When I worked as a tutor, regardless of the race or ethnicity, the mother was always more involved with the kid's education. Even when the father was fairly involved, the mother was more so. I would call the mother by default.

[wryness]

Thanks for your feedback! I hesitated to even ask this question, but I was curious to see what responses it would get. It does make more sense to call the mom, really, regardless of anybody's cultural background.

By the way, I'm surprised that this question got responses already--on a Friday night. Why are we on here? I'm not sure if we should give each other high fives or do whatever the opposite of a high five is.

[Portia]

Thanks for your feedback! I hesitated to even ask this question, but I was curious to see what responses it would get. It does make more sense to call the mom, really, regardless of anybody's cultural background.

By the way, I'm surprised that this question got responses already--on a Friday night. Why are we on here? I'm not sure if we should give each other high fives or do whatever the opposite of a high five is. :P

Considering how much I am on the train and bus, a cozy Friday night in, by myself, curled up by the fire, is pretty much heaven.

[Katya]

By the way, I'm surprised that this question got responses already--on a Friday night. Why are we on here? I'm not sure if we should give each other high fives or do whatever the opposite of a high five is.

Some of us are snowed in! (OK, not yet, but I'm not going anywhere tomorrow.)

[Zedability]

Some of us are introverts and are single.

[Marduk]

Some of us are commenting here while playing DoTA.

[Tally M.]

Some of us are snowed in!

I wish I was snowed in!

[yayfulness]

Some of us spend our Friday nights theoretically doing homework.

[Portia]

Some of us spend our Friday nights theoretically doing homework.

+1

[Squirrel]

Some of us spend our Friday night actually doing homework with FB chats and PMs and Boardboard posts and Board post updates interspersed throughout so as to provide reprieve to the sorrowful I've-got-nothing-better-to-do student.

[Giovanni Schwartz]

Some of us spend our Friday nights on dates. #AloeVera,Anyone?

[Zedability]

SOME OF US GO TO A FAMILY WARD WITH NO BOYS OUR AGE AND ONLY WANT TO DATE PEOPLE SEVERAL PROVINCES AWAY.

/fake anger

[Portia]

SOME OF US GO TO A FAMILY WARD WITH NO BOYS OUR AGE AND ONLY WANT TO DATE PEOPLE SEVERAL PROVINCES AWAY.

/fake anger

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid ... =1&theater

[Zedability]

SOME OF US GO TO A FAMILY WARD WITH NO BOYS OUR AGE AND ONLY WANT TO DATE PEOPLE SEVERAL PROVINCES AWAY.

/fake anger

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid ... =1&theater

Hahahahahahahahahahaahahahaahahahaha...

That is the greatest thing ever.

[Talons]

By the way, I'm surprised that this question got responses already--on a Friday night. Why are we on here? I'm not sure if we should give each other high fives or do whatever the opposite of a high five is.