Answers I liked

[Amity]

http://theboard.byu.edu/questions/76957/

What would I say to someone who's pushing 30 and unmarried? I would ask them what they do for work/school, what their hobbies are, what good food they've eaten lately, whether they've seen season 3 of Sherlock, how their March Madness bracket is doing, what they think of this whole Crimea thing, who their least favorite politician is, what album would they recommend I listen to, etc.

Because people are so much more than their relationship status.

[S.A.M.]

or age.

[Katya]

http://theboard.byu.edu/questions/76957/

What would I say to someone who's pushing 30 and unmarried? I would ask them what they do for work/school, what their hobbies are, what good food they've eaten lately, whether they've seen season 3 of Sherlock, how their March Madness bracket is doing, what they think of this whole Crimea thing, who their least favorite politician is, what album would they recommend I listen to, etc.

Because people are so much more than their relationship status.

Agreed, although the original question prompt said:

Imagine you have a sister. She turned 28 a few weeks ago. She reminds you that the number of men who have asked her out is 2. What would you say to her?

So the 28-year-old is already bringing up the subject.

Also, although I liked all of the answers given in response to the two questions (including the seemingly contradictory answers), I will point out that some people don't ever get married, so it isn't necessarily helpful to reassure all singles that some day they'll find the right person, because some of them actually won't.

[Portia]

http://theboard.byu.edu/questions/76957/

What would I say to someone who's pushing 30 and unmarried? I would ask them what they do for work/school, what their hobbies are, what good food they've eaten lately, whether they've seen season 3 of Sherlock, how their March Madness bracket is doing, what they think of this whole Crimea thing, who their least favorite politician is, what album would they recommend I listen to, etc.

Because people are so much more than their relationship status.

Agreed, although the original question prompt said:

Imagine you have a sister. She turned 28 a few weeks ago. She reminds you that the number of men who have asked her out is 2. What would you say to her?

So the 28-year-old is already bringing up the subject.

Also, although I liked all of the answers given in response to the two questions (including the seemingly contradictory answers), I will point out that some people don't ever get married, so it isn't necessarily helpful to reassure all singles that some day they'll find the right person, because some of them actually won't.

Bingo.

[Amity]

So the 28-year-old is already bringing up the subject.

The advice that MSJ has given about practicing the be-content-with-yourself model of singlehood applies if someone explicitly asks for your input. But beyond that, I think it's far better to shut up on the subject. Older singles get browbeaten enough with talk about marriage for years on end that I think it's largely counterproductive to give unsolicited lectures about it. When I get yet another marriage lesson in church my first reaction is to roll my eyes, pull out my phone, and start sending snarky texts about the lesson to sympathetic friends.

Also, although I liked all of the answers given in response to the two questions (including the seemingly contradictory answers), I will point out that some people don't ever get married, so it isn't necessarily helpful to reassure all singles that some day they'll find the right person, because some of them actually won't.

Yes, this is a major problem with a lot of the advice given to Mormon singles and an issue I had with yayfulgirl's answer to that question. Also, seriously, why shouldn't a woman ask a man out if she's interested in him? That paragraph got Feminist Amity's hackles raised.

[Katya]

So the 28-year-old is already bringing up the subject.

The advice that MSJ has given about practicing the be-content-with-yourself model of singlehood applies if someone explicitly asks for your input. But beyond that, I think it's far better to shut up on the subject. Older singles get browbeaten enough with talk about marriage for years on end that I think it's largely counterproductive to give unsolicited lectures about it. When I get yet another marriage lesson in church my first reaction is to roll my eyes, pull out my phone, and start sending snarky texts about the lesson to sympathetic friends.

I completely agree. (This issue and related issues is actually why I ditched my singles ward as an undergrad and switched to the family ward, instead.)

[yayfulness]

Ok, I think there's a bit of a misinterpretation going on here. Nowhere did yayfulgirl say that girls are not allowed to ask guys out. What she was trying to express (and the fault is on both of us for not catching the ambiguity and fixing it) is that, whatever your view is of women asking men on dates, it is absolutely not the cure-all solution that Obstreperous seems to believe it is. Nothing in this world guarantees that if you ask two, or five, or fifty people on dates every month that you will be married by age 30. Doesn't matter if you're male or female. You're a girl and you want to ask a guy on a date? Great! Do it! You're a girl and you don't think girls should ask guys on dates? Great! Find some other way to get his attention! But no matter who you are or what your own life experience is, don't tell other people that they're failing at life because they're not conforming to your expectations of how they should behave.

As far as the issue of not everyone getting married goes... That is a good point. And you can sure as heck be certain that the person asking the question knows about it. I see no need to remind them.

[yayfulness]

tl;dr The answer was meant as a direct response to Obstreperous and a reassurance to single women nearing their 30s, not a comprehensive guide to how women should approach dating.

[Amity]

Thanks for the clarification. I was probably reading too much into that answer because it's just a touchy subject for me in general. And I agree 1000% with this:

But no matter who you are or what your own life experience is, don't tell other people that they're failing at life because they're not conforming to your expectations of how they should behave.

Can I get that cross-stitched on a pillow? It's gotta be available on Etsy somewhere.

[bobtheenchantedone]

http://theboard.byu.edu/questions/77033/

I do think these are some pretty good answers, but I have to admit I laughed a little at Pa Grape's "quizzing them on which hand to use." After three-ish years of taking the sacrament next to left-handed Marduk, I'd forgotten that was a thing.

[Marduk]

Mormon lore is interesting like that. I wonder how that tradition is so firmly rooted; I can find little in the way of any sort of GA advising it.

[UffishThought]

The first time I heard that was any sort of opinion on which hand to use at all was a few years into college. I was horrified that I'd been doing it wrong all this time and hadn't known. (I'm always worried that I'm committing horrible social errors and no one is telling me. I guess I should combat that.) But now I don't really care--it's not a big symbol in my brain, though it's nice it's a symbol in other people's, I suppose.

[Genuine Article]

Russell M. Nelson's a big supporter of using the right hand to take the sacrament. My husband said he thought he remembered him saying something about it in the last few years, so I looked and couldn't find anything that recent (granted I didn't look very extensively), but I did find something from 1983: https://www.lds.org/liahona/1983/07/que ... s?lang=eng
That said, I don't think it matters all that much. If it did there'd be something about it in Handbook 1, and I don't think there is.

[Emiliana]

This isn't just an LDS controversy, I've heard it in Catholic and Protestant circles as well. It might be related to the medieval bias against left-handedness, but I'm not sure. I know in West Africa it is considered disrespectful to take Communion/the Eucharist with the left hand. (In that case it's related to the Islamic tradition in which the left hand is used for "unclean" tasks like wiping after you go to the bathroom.)

[Katya]

This isn't just an LDS controversy, I've heard it in Catholic and Protestant circles as well. It might be related to the medieval bias against left-handedness, but I'm not sure. I know in West Africa it is considered disrespectful to take Communion/the Eucharist with the left hand. (In that case it's related to the Islamic tradition in which the left hand is used for "unclean" tasks like wiping after you go to the bathroom.)

Interesting. I wonder if we borrowed it from the Catholics/Protestants or just re-engineered it on the basis of "left hand of God"-type scriptures.

[Katya]

http://theboard.byu.edu/questions/77112/

I am deeply amused that my random number generator version of scripture study is getting thumbs.

[SmurfBlueSnuggie]

http://theboard.byu.edu/questions/77169/

MSJ, where do you watch Veronica Mars? Or, rather, do you have to pay to watch it?

[mic0]

http://theboard.byu.edu/questions/77182/

Very clever.

[chillygator]

http://theboard.byu.edu/questions/77169/

MSJ, where do you watch Veronica Mars? Or, rather, do you have to pay to watch it?

It's on Amazon Instant Video, but you have to have a Prime account.

[SmurfBlueSnuggie]

http://theboard.byu.edu/questions/77169/

MSJ, where do you watch Veronica Mars? Or, rather, do you have to pay to watch it?

It's on Amazon Instant Video, but you have to have a Prime account.

Score! Got it. Thanks.