Happy Days in Random Chatter 10

[Portia]

Don't give out your smiles like pretzels.

[vorpal blade]

Stupid pet peeve: When people say "Russians only smile when they really mean it!" and "Americans smile all the time so it is meaningless!" Americans smile for a *different* reason than Russians do (general politeness), that doesn't make actual, friend-to-friend smiling meaningless. Maybe I should start saying "Americans only kiss when they mean it!" because we don't greet each other with kisses.

I like that Mic0. But even a smile out of politenesss doesn't make it meaningless. It just makes Russians less polite (not really, but sort of).

[mic0]

Don't give out your smiles like pretzels.

VB (can I call ya VB?), exactly! A smile out of politeness has an important societal meaning - "I acknowledge you, I'm friendly," etc. Russians don't necessarily care about that aspect of an interaction and that's fine.

Speaking of Russians, my husband (accidentally) started a heated Facebook discussion about gun rights. It's kind of funny to me, and also weird, and also I am glad I'm not a part of that discussion.

[Digit]

Concerning the sociability of Russians, I wonder how they compare as far as T-V distinction to other peoples like French people and Germans. If I had to ask someone I just barely met who was the same age and social class as me something and I used ты, would that likely be a little off in their opinion?

[mic0]

My husband says that this might be a case for the Dobler-Dahmer effect -- if the person seems nice/non-threatening, then ты is fine. If they seem threatening or strange or something, maybe ты will be off-putting. Of course, this is his answer after ten years of living in the U.S., so you know... his native sense might not be what it used to be (that's my opinion of course ).

What is it like in French and German?

[Portia]

Thanks to Imogen introducing me to the Mad Style blog, I'm analyzing my own clothing choices and the choices of everyone around me. (Tom and Lorenzo are addictive!) Today, I'm wearing an American Eagle polo in cantaloupe and bright white stripes of probably eight years' vintage, khaki shorts with a braided belt, and a messy updo because I was out super late last night. Add in the strand of pearls, and I pretty much look exactly like the pre-recessionary preppie camp counselor I was when I was young-young.

The friend I was with was in knee-length khaki shorts that probably came out of this catalog and a shirt in his mission colors. (!!!) Another guy (who I am certain I've met elsewhere; it will bug me) said that the club we were in was probably the place to be ten years ago but it was mostly empty last night. I'll let you look up the year the song we did karaoke to ("Hips Don't Lie") was released.

As we were playing the "I-lived-in-Heritage-that-year-too" game, with our vaguely Thoreauvian aspirations, I felt an emotion that I think is pretty specific to your late twenties, especially if you're not married, maybe. It's not negative, necessarily, but it's definitely a sense that you're not that young anymore, that you've made your choices and you're locked into them as much as you are into your sense of style and pop-culture touchstones.

When he whipped out the engagement ring from his CD compartment ... that's when the symbolism got heavy, my friends.

(No, he was not proposing that we run off to Vegas the way his grandmother apparently had. We're yuppies with work in the morning, and I think his grandpa was drunk when he proposed, which we weren't. Our big act of rebellion was swiping someone's water bottle. He was talking about some failed relationship of his, which is a type of guy I collect, apparently. Analyzing what exactly his intentions were in that moment would be interesting, though.)

[Digit]

I don't have any data, and my personal experience is practically nil regarding the average rapidity by which native speakers of T-V featured languages move from formal to familiar, but I just wondered if you took a standard sample size of people who were just meeting as strangers and collected the average number of encounters before they began to use the T-pronoun in their respective languages to address each other, if there would be a significantly different number between the languages/cultures.

[vorpal blade]

I think you are talking about the second person singular. In Italian it is "tu," and in German "du." I went on my mission to Italy, but learned some German afterwards. My wife majored in German. In my experience the young, student-age people would start speaking with "tu" right away. The older generation didn't use it when they talked to us. Of course, we were given the guidance to never speak in the "tu" form, because it was too intimate, except in prayers. I think Germans were more restrained than Italians. I'm guessing Russian are even more restrained.

[vorpal blade]

Stupid pet peeve: When people say "Russians only smile when they really mean it!" and "Americans smile all the time so it is meaningless!" Americans smile for a *different* reason than Russians do (general politeness), that doesn't make actual, friend-to-friend smiling meaningless. Maybe I should start saying "Americans only kiss when they mean it!" because we don't greet each other with kisses.

Perhaps Russians don't know that Americans can detect the difference in a smile where you really mean it, and a smile given out of politeness. When you really mean it your smile goes up into your eyes and wrinkle the skin around your eyes.

[mic0]

Yeah, maybe! Like, we are used to all these different smiles and know what they mean in context, but someone unaccustomed to it just thinks they are all the same smile.

[Amity]

Thanks to Imogen introducing me to the Mad Style blog, I'm analyzing my own clothing choices and the choices of everyone around me. (Tom and Lorenzo are addictive!)

Reading Tom and Lorenzo is maybe the best part of watching Mad Men. When I discovered Mad Style I spent most of a day going back and reading the archives. It adds a whole new level of understanding to the show.

[Digit]

I went on my mission to Italy

I went to Pennsylvania. I remember a funny story a member in York told us while driving us somewhere. He went to Italy, and one time on his P-day, he and his companion went to Vatican City. They found themselves there at a moment when the Pope was blessing trinkets or objects for people. They got in line because it was the Pope. When it came his turn, he found that the only object he had on hand he could think to present was his Temple Recommend. So he had a Temple Recommend blessed by the Pope.

[vorpal blade]

That is a funny story, Digit. I was expecting he would bring out a copy of the Book of Mormon, which would have made a great thing to have around. "As a Catholic you should read this book. I would like you to know that this book has been blessed by the Pope himself."

Do you have any idea when the member served a mission in Italy?

[Digit]

The year was 1998 when he told us that story, and I'd guess he was in his mid to late 40s, so I'd guess he was there in the early to mid 70's.

[vorpal blade]

Just wondering if I would know him. He probably served after I did.

[Whistler]

Thanks to Imogen introducing me to the Mad Style blog, I'm analyzing my own clothing choices and the choices of everyone around me. (Tom and Lorenzo are addictive!)

Oh my goodness, I just read like half an entry and I feel exhausted by the amount of thought/analysis put into clothes.

[Portia]

Thanks to Imogen introducing me to the Mad Style blog, I'm analyzing my own clothing choices and the choices of everyone around me. (Tom and Lorenzo are addictive!)

Oh my goodness, I just read like half an entry and I feel exhausted by the amount of thought/analysis put into clothes.

Seriously, I would probably become a costumer if I had any crafty skills whatsoever. Maybe I should do marketing for a clothing company instead of the tech world. Haha.

[Portia]

Found on Pinterest: "You are never lost if you can see the Temple." Hooray for Utah-centrism!!!

[Imogen]

Thanks to Imogen introducing me to the Mad Style blog, I'm analyzing my own clothing choices and the choices of everyone around me. (Tom and Lorenzo are addictive!)

Oh my goodness, I just read like half an entry and I feel exhausted by the amount of thought/analysis put into clothes.

That kind of thought is necessary for quality design.

[Marduk]

Found on Pinterest: "You are never lost if you can see the Temple." Hooray for Utah-centrism!!!

Just don't get 'em confused.