78436 - Gay Marriage FUD

[Arcaiden]

Haleakalā's answer is the same fear, doubt, and uncertainty that religious organizations have been using for decades to deny gay people the rights they are seeking. This is the exact same misinformation I saw passed around on fliers at church every week during the prop 8 campaign. This type of fear has no rational basis, in fact, lets look at the history surrounding this issue:

1. Gay marriage has been legal in Massachusetts (where the church has a temple) for over 10 years. Number of times the church (or any religious organization) has been forced to perform a gay marriage: 0. Number of times the church has been sued to force it to perform a gay marriage: 0.

2. Gay marriage has also been legal in the Netherlands, Canada, and Spain for over 10 years. In none of these countries (which don't even have as strong protections for religious freedom as the US does) has the church been forced to perform or sanction any kind of gay marriage.

3. Even after Loving v. Virgina overturned anti-miscegenation laws in 1967, the church continued to prohibit mixed race couples or black people from marrying in the temple until 1978, when priesthood and temple blessings were made available to members regardless of their race. Several religious organizations to this day continue to discriminate on the basis of race with no consequences from the government.

4. The church already discriminates in its marriage practices based on all sorts of different criteria. For example, in order to get married in the temple you have to be paying your tithing, obeying the word of wisdom, and meet various other criteria. The church can do this because it is a religious organization, and as long as we have a first amendment, the government is never going to be able to do anything to change this.

It should go without saying that a for-profit corporation is not the same thing as a religion or church. The same laws that protect gay people from discrimination in a capitalist society, also protect people from refusing service to Mormons or other religious groups.

Finally, I think the current trend of religions and their followers to say, we "love" you, but then restrict their interactions with you in all these different ways is harmful. We live in a pluralistic society, where we need to interact with and respect individuals of varying faith backgrounds. Can you imagine me refusing to bake a cake for my Jewish friend's wedding? How do you think my Catholic co-workers would feel when they announce they are getting married and I tell them that I love them, but I just can't support their marriage or their family, since it won't really be an eternal marriage.

No one is being forced to get a gay marriage. No religion is being forced to change their beliefs about gay marriage. Is society increasingly disapproving of discrimination against gay people? Yes, but we saw the same thing happen with the civil rights movement, and I don't believe it's appropriate to use your religious influence to try and legislate against that. Part of being "in the world but not of the world" is learning to respect and treat equally those who have opposing views from our own.

[Portia]

Are you eligible to be a Board writer? We need a voice of sanity on there. :-)

[TheBlackSheep]

Arcaiden, THANK YOU. I was a queer BYU student during Prop 8 and I tried to circulate this type of information at the time and now I can't even try to verbalize this stuff without feeling exhausted and beaten and very sad.

[Amity]

Thanks, Arcaiden, for laying all this out so clearly.

[NerdGirl]

Amen. We've had marriage equality in Canada for over a decade and it hasn't affected what the church can or can't do at all. What it has done is given people who are in long-term loving partnerships all the same legal rights and protections that straight people in similar relationships has had for years. Turns out letting cute little old couples the right to visit each other in the hospital and name each other as insurance beneficiaries hasn't destroyed anyone's religious freedoms or brought the apocalypse upon us.

[NerdGirl]

Also, the church didn't have anything to say about it at all when marriage equality became a thing here, so I was incredibly shocked when Prop 8 turned into such a big deal from the Mormon perspective.

[yayfulness]

Arcaiden, do I have your permission to quote you on that if it's ever relevant to a Board question?

[Arcaiden]

Yayfulness and anyone else, yes you can quote me on this.

Thanks for the love guys. Sadly my days of being a potential board writer are a bit over, but I did manage to sneak in at least one answer to a question, under a misspelled version of my nym.

[Owlet]

Yes, thanks Arcaiden, and NerdGirl for your points about how it works in other countries. I hadn't thought about that before but it's really cool.