Hate to be THAT person....
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- Posts: 76
- Joined: Sat Apr 05, 2014 9:20 pm
Hate to be THAT person....
But I'm going to be that person anyways. I am interested in this guy and I'm pretty sure he likes me too. We've known each other for about a week and a half but we've gone on a few dates and just generally we've hung out a lot. When should I tell him I like him? Part of me wants to move fast but another part of me can tell that he wants to take it slowly and I don't want to scare him off. First real relationship here so I have no idea what I'm doing...
Re: Hate to be THAT person....
I'd say to hold of on "I love you" until you've dated longer, but you could say something like "you're my favorite person" or "I really like being around you." It really depends on how you normally interact, but then again, you're sort of defining how you normally interact right now...
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Re: Hate to be THAT person....
Part of it depends on how ok with being at a different level, relationship-wise, both of you are. For example, if you would be sad if he didn't say it back yet, maybe hold off? Or if you think he would be super uncomfortable knowing you're more committed than he is at the moment, you could also hold off. A week and a half is pretty fast for a DTR.
Also I think if it's just that you like him now (not love him), I think that's pretty self-evident by continuing to initiate dates and hang-outs. I do like Whistler's idea of telling him you like spending time with him or being around him.
Also I think if it's just that you like him now (not love him), I think that's pretty self-evident by continuing to initiate dates and hang-outs. I do like Whistler's idea of telling him you like spending time with him or being around him.
Re: Hate to be THAT person....
I think Whistler's suggestion for low key declarations is excellent. Other suggestions include "I always have fun with you" and "I want to spend more time with you." It's non-threatening and doesn't really demand an immediate response.
Also once you're kissing, I discovered the boys I dated at BYU considered that to be a nonverbal DTR.
Also once you're kissing, I discovered the boys I dated at BYU considered that to be a nonverbal DTR.
- Shrinky Dink
- Posts: 301
- Joined: Sat Apr 05, 2014 11:21 pm
Re: Hate to be THAT person....
Asking him to do things usually helps encourage the thoughts of, "Hey, I think this person really likes me." At least I get these thoughts when someone specifically invites me to an activity.
One of my favorites is to go to his apartment (or call him, either works) and say, "Hey, I want to go get icecream/pizza/food and no one at home wants to go with me. Do you want to come?" Or maybe there is a movie you want to see that you could invite him to watch with you. Maybe there's a mini golf course or bowling alley that you'd like to go to. Either way, inviting him to do stuff (generally one-on-one or in pretty small groups) helps get the idea across.
Stuff like this is basically what I did to my husband, and while he wasn't available at the time, he got the point and later asked me out and married me. I actually invited my husband to a murder mystery for halloween and occasionally went to his apartment to specifically ask for his help to fill up my bike tire. It helped that the tire got flat pretty frequently...![Smile :)](./images/smilies/icon_e_smile.gif)
One of my favorites is to go to his apartment (or call him, either works) and say, "Hey, I want to go get icecream/pizza/food and no one at home wants to go with me. Do you want to come?" Or maybe there is a movie you want to see that you could invite him to watch with you. Maybe there's a mini golf course or bowling alley that you'd like to go to. Either way, inviting him to do stuff (generally one-on-one or in pretty small groups) helps get the idea across.
Stuff like this is basically what I did to my husband, and while he wasn't available at the time, he got the point and later asked me out and married me. I actually invited my husband to a murder mystery for halloween and occasionally went to his apartment to specifically ask for his help to fill up my bike tire. It helped that the tire got flat pretty frequently...
![Smile :)](./images/smilies/icon_e_smile.gif)
*Insert Evil Laughter Here*
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- Posts: 76
- Joined: Sat Apr 05, 2014 9:20 pm
Re: Hate to be THAT person....
Yeah, I've definitely been dropping hints that I find him easy to talk to, enjoy hanging out with him, etc. I definitely wouldn't say I love him because, again, we've known each other for like a week and a half, but I think he likes me too. He's pretty fresh off his mission though so I'm thinking maybe that's a reason why he's moving pretty slowly in terms of physical affection (he hasn't held my hand or anything yet). I just wish I knew if telling him I like him would scare him off or bring something good, because even if we didn't date, he is a really good friend to have...
Re: Hate to be THAT person....
Shrinky dink's husband: how do you bike over so many nails??
Last edited by mic0 on Fri Sep 11, 2015 10:00 am, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Hate to be THAT person....
Eh, not a fan of hints. Ask him out on an unambiguous date.
You can initiate hand-holding/kissing if you want, too.
To me having to tell someone you like them seems kind of junior high ish. I think he's just shy, though, I moved faster with plenty of 22-year-olds.
You can initiate hand-holding/kissing if you want, too.
To me having to tell someone you like them seems kind of junior high ish. I think he's just shy, though, I moved faster with plenty of 22-year-olds.