yayfulness wrote:I think the thing that scares me about all the "just trust in the Church leaders or you're wrong" and "this is where we start seeing the fair-weather Mormons leave" is thinking about what might have happened if I'd heard it a couple years ago. I was seriously depressed, and while I was trying to hold on to my faith, I could tell I probably wouldn't in the long run. Rhetoric like that, at the wrong time, very well could have convinced me that it would be better for me to die a Mormon than live to leave the Church. Obviously that is in my past and I don't expect I'll ever be in that situation again, but at the time I'm sure it would have at least crossed my mind.
What scares me the most is that I know there are people out there right now who feel exactly like that.
And instead of hearing comforting words from members or from the Church, they're being called weak or compared to chaff. No, not explicitly, but comments that talk about sorting the faithful from the unfaithful will feel like they apply specifically to them.
And maybe I'm missing something because I didn't listen to Elder Christofferson's discussion, but what's been notably absent is *any* indication from the Church that this is a policy that creates real pain in real people. Even just an acknowledgement that "this is what we have to do, but we realize some people will find it hurtful and we regret their pain" would be... honestly, groundbreaking, because I don't know that the Church has ever done that.
ALL OF THIS.
I think there's a distinct psychological component to this where people feel smug about being part of the "wheat" and "making it through the sifting." And they forget Christ's counsel to leave the ninety and nine, to eat with publicans and sinners, to mourn with those that mourn and administer to the afflicted.
Why was the War in Heaven a war? As I've thought about it, it's not because we really needed to fight for God's plan to be the chosen plan. He's God. His plan was going to happen no matter what. The "War in Heaven" refers to the fact that we loved our brothers and sisters, and we wanted to do anything it took to help them against Lucifer. I firmly believe we were
sad about the 1/3 that left, not smug about being in the 2/3 left behind.
Literally any example in the scriptures where people rejoice a bunch about being "chosen" or being the "special righteous followers who aren't sinners like the rest of these people" are, frankly, examples of people who are also sinning. Ie the Zoramites and the Pharisees.
Like you said, just acknowledge people are hurting and say you're sad that they're sad.
My parent's reaction to me coming out has been largely positive, aside from the justifiable hurt that I didn't tell them first and the whole "why are you telling people this" thing. I'm married to a MAN in the TEMPLE and am active and have arrived at peace with the policy. Yet the reaction and rhetoric of so many members still has me so stressed that I feel dizzy and sick and on a high stress response. Even the small amount of negativity from my parents has been incredibly depressing.
Of course so many LGBT members attempt suicide.
Of course they get tired of being in a Church where members consistently make them feel much, much worse on a daily basis. We as members should be sad about this and want to extend love and compassion, which is a
completely different thing than disavowing the policy. Instead of wanting to get as much wheat as possible, people want to get rid of the "chaff" ASAP and don't care if a substantial portion of the wheat gets driven away with it.