Humor will not be tolerated!! -Portia

Tally M. wrote:engagement pictures.

wait what

Dude, adult mono blows such serious chunks. You have all my sympathy and if you need a care package you let me know. Seriously.

@Portia: I take it you didn't see this?

@TBS: Thanks. I had a week of fatigue before I got a sore throat, but I didn't think they could be connected until I went back last night and they did a blood test. I'm relatively high functioning from what I expected from mono, and luckily I can work from home.

Tally M. wrote:@Portia: I take it you didn't see this?

No! This is what happens when I actually, like, do my job. LOL

As I've mentioned before, I like colorful engagement ring stones, and blue is the best. :-) Is it a sapphire, blue diamond, CZ, or something else?

(Also, you two look very "couple-y" and I strongly believe couples should look like they go together. This law will be enforced by blackbooted thugs, obvs. Opinions on whether this theory holds up in my case welcomed. Zed, I refer to the pic where my eyes look amazing because filter.)

Still count me in among the alums who are okay with seeing you crazy kids pair off before me. (I mean, queen bed all to myself!) Although I'll soon be coming to Provo for couples' counseling ... about tying the knot. o_O

Portia wrote:

Tally M. wrote:@Portia: I take it you didn't see this?

No! This is what happens when I actually, like, do my job. LOL

As I've mentioned before, I like colorful engagement ring stones, and blue is the best. Is it a sapphire, blue diamond, CZ, or something else?

(Also, you two look very "couple-y" and I strongly believe couples should look like they go together. This law will be enforced by blackbooted thugs, obvs. Opinions on whether this theory holds up in my case welcomed. Zed, I refer to the pic where my eyes look amazing because filter.)

Still count me in among the alums who are okay with seeing you crazy kids pair off before me. (I mean, queen bed all to myself!) Although I'll soon be coming to Provo for couples' counseling ... about tying the knot. o_O

It's sapphire, and you're certainly not the only one to think we look like we belong together; most comments about us tend to have been "you fit well together."

Tally M. wrote:It's sapphire.

Oooooh. Good choice! (Who should get the credit on that? :) )

Portia wrote:

Tally M. wrote:It's sapphire.

Oooooh. Good choice! (Who should get the credit on that? )

That'd be me. I've wanted a sapphire for as long as I can remember. Turns out it's his birthstone so that's an unexpected perk.

Employee rights are important!

At the same time, employers have the right to,
1) Expect you to show up, on time, every day (unless you call in or take a pre-scheduled vacation)
2) Expect you to work hard, and do a good job, every time
3) Expect you to do things their way, because there are often factors you are unaware of behind why the rules are what they are
4) Make arrangements around health and childcare issues to enable you to come to work on time, every day, stay your full shift, and do a good job

I get that emergencies happen. Kids get sick. Babysitters get sick. You get sick. You need to go to the dentist. Your wife needs to go to the hospital. You got rear-ended on your way into work. Your car wouldn't start. You need to leave a little early to make a doctor's appointment. These things are normal, and we are willing to work with you on each of them!!! We offer generous PTO for these reasons!!! We want to treat you fairly!!!

HOWEVER, when you have eight or nine emergencies in a 30-day period, and you've only worked for the company for 30 days, and you don't do a good job after repeated training and correction, and you're consistently late (for Pete's sake, leave 10 minutes earlier!), it boils down to this:

If I don't need you, why do I need you?

I am so glad nobody in my social circles has made any asinine comments about the Orlando shootings, because I am ready to rip heads off. I had so many emotions yesterday - sadness, frustration, horror, the whole gamut. Today, I have only one emotion: barely concealed rage.

I don't even have the energy for rage. And not like, I'm too depressed for it. Like, I went hiking out in the desert and I'm going dancing with some queer ladies tomorrow night in a gay bar (no lesbian bars here in Vegas, or Salt Lake City, because why would lesbians need bars) and that'll be it for me. I don't know all that much about what happened and I don't care to know. I don't know if I like this change in myself or not but I'm going with it.

TheBlackSheep wrote:(no lesbian bars here in Vegas, or Salt Lake City, because why would lesbians need bars)

Bars are against the Word of Wisdom, obvi.

That said, I am pretty angry about Orlando, both the event and the aftermath. It infuriates me that there are still groups of people in this country who do not feel safe. I cannot stomach how anybody who can think rationally could vote for Donald Trump. I'm voting for Hillary myself, but I am absolutely spreading the word about Gary Johnson to anybody who will listen.

The way you are voting and encouraging others to vote is badass.

And sure, any bars are against the Word of Wisdom. I mostly meant that almost all gay bars are for gay men, or are taken over by gay men. The last lesbian bar in Salt Lake closed semi-recently, and who knows how long it has been since Las Vegas had one. The one in Salt Lake usually had a good number of people in it, so ???. It's really common for there to be no lesbian bars. A lot of gay/bi men don't realize this. A lot of straight people don't realize this. But I guarantee you gay/bi women all know if there is a lesbian bar in their city, because there probably isn't.

I'm not surprised about the dearth of lesbian bars. After all, the lesbian stereotype is either:

1) Biker chick minus the Confederate flag OR
2) Really cerebral

Neither screams bar patron, but I don't know much about bar patrons.

What DOES surprise me is that Vegas doesn't have one. Are you talking the Strip? Or the Vegas That Is a Normal City? Or both?

I don't know any lesbians/bi women who fit those stereotypes... Are those still really the stereotypes? I mean, sure they exist, but I didn't know that those were still the stereotypes.

I mean both. There definitely isn't a lesbian bar in Vegas-as-a-city. One of the gay clubs has "lesbian nights" every so often, but there is no bar. And I don't believe there is one on the Strip either. Is there even a gay club on the Strip anymore? There was, but the one I'm thinking of is downtown now.

So is there a stereotype of straight chicks as non-cerebral?

I want everyone to read this and take this quiz, speaking of subconscious biases.

http://www.pbs.org/newshour/features/hidden-sexism/

Portia wrote:I want everyone to read this and take this quiz, speaking of subconscious biases.

http://www.pbs.org/newshour/features/hidden-sexism/

I scored extremely low hostile sexism. No surprise there.

I scored higher (just below average) in benevolent sexism, which makes sense to me. The Church is an environment where "benevolent sexism" is taught as simply chivalry, manners, being a gentleman. Every week in church some priesthood holder inevitably makes a "my wife is so much better than me" joke. Even though I'm a PC liberal "woke" "ally" etc etc, it's hard to cast aside subconscious attitudes you've been raised with.

And part of me is okay with that. I don't assume I have to do stuff for women because they can't do it themselves–I honestly just like doing things for women. I like "taking care" of the women in my life even if it means sacrificing my own goals, and I don't feel that way about the men in my life. I recognize that's a form of sexism, but I think I can make peace with that degree of bias in myself.

Hostile sexism:
My score - 1.5
Average man - 2.24
Average woman - 1.6

Benevolent sexism:
My score - 2.33
Average man - 2.3
Average woman - 2

I scored close to zero in benevolent sexism. I scored a bit closer to the average woman in hostile sexism. I'm not sure what, if anything, I can conclude from that. Perhaps the fact that I've been in female-dominated subcultures (creative writing is one) where men still have cachet/power, and I'm competitive by nature.

I've noticed a tendency in my life to give greater weight to male opinions. I guess this may be a form of subtle sexism?

Props to Craig for voting for Clinton and recognizing the evil of Trump. I sometimes catch myself with negative feelings towards Clinton, and I thought that the article did a good job shedding light on subconscious biases *I* might harbor towards other women, especially those in power. It can feel like a much smaller pie, indeed.

I scored close to 0 on hostile sexism (do people honestly believe those things?), and around the women's average on benevolent.

I disliked the quiz, however. For instance, the question "all men deserve a woman to love and cherish" is unfair. OF COURSE all men deserve a woman (or man if that's their thing) to love and cherish. And women deserve the same in equal measure... but the quiz has no way to express this. Likewise, the "men should protect women" question is unfair. OF COURSE men should protect women... and they should protect men, and they should protect children, and they should protect animals. Women have the same obligation in my mind. However, there is no allowance for this in the quiz, which means you have to choose an option that does not necessarily reflect your true feelings. Even a simple rephrasing ("Men have a special obligation to protect women" or "Women need a man's protection") could have made the difference.

The hostile sexism one was also a little weird, but less so. The one standing out to me is the "women get their kicks by appearing available but being withholding" question. Do I believe that women like this exist? Yes, absolutely. Do I believe that some men are guilty of the same thing? Of course. Is there an allowance in the quiz for "there are individuals like this but it is not a characteristic of the sex in general?" No. So it's either all or none? Fallacy.

TheBlackSheep wrote:I don't know any lesbians/bi women who fit those stereotypes... Are those still really the stereotypes? I mean, sure they exist, but I didn't know that those were still the stereotypes.

They're the stereotypes in my mind? Obviously I acknowledge that stereotypes are inaccurate, but this is what I perceive them to be.

I've been thinking about why lesbian bars are hard to come by, and this is what I've got:

In a given city, you have to find 1) Enough lesbians who want to go to a bar to make a bar profitable, 2) Somebody capable of running a profitable business to open a bar, but who also wants to cater to only a very small segment of their potential market.

I don't know enough about 1 to say anything, but I do feel comfortable saying that the people who fall into category 2 are probably very rare.

I don't know why I've been thinking about this so much. I'm neither lesbian, a bar-goer, nor interested in opening a bar. I guess what I'm saying is, have you tried Tinder?