Answers I liked

[Genuine Article]

I totally have a second wife picked out for my husband. I've made it very clear that if I should unexpectedly die he's to wait a "respectful" amount of time (a year or so) and then go and woo the crap out of this woman.

[Violet]

So this isn't as much an answer I liked as a sidenote for other things that happen to old library books as The Soulful Ginger mentioned:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BhTaHojfLDA

This fort of books was constructed entirely of library discards. Not a usual use of old library books, but another use.

[Whistler]

once the BYU library was getting rid of some of their LP collection and they gave them away to students... I still have some, even though I don't own a record player

[yayfulness]

http://theboard.byu.edu/questions/84333/

I prefer to intentionally misinterpret Tally's answer and assume that all relationships are the result of aliens.

[Zedability]

Haha. I seriously considered answering, "I'm married and I STILL don't know how relationships are supposed to start." I agree that it's magic or aliens or something.

[Digit]

Interesting. I've never, ever seen a Subway with a drive through. Come to think of it, I've never seen a standalone Subway not part of a strip mall or inside another building like a mall or a Walmart.

[Zedability]

I saw some on my mission, but not out west.

[yayfulness]

I'm pretty sure the one MODAQ's referring to is on State Street in Orem. It might be the only one I've ever seen.

[Amity]

I've got a drive-through Panera by me. It's pretty great. And it uses a one-window system, I believe.

[Digit]

I wonder if there are any chain roller-skate-ups besides Sonic in this day and age.

[Emiliana]

I wonder if there are any chain roller-skate-ups besides Sonic in this day and age.

In Ohio there's a chain called Swenson's that's kind of like Sonic. Except instead of skating, the carhops all *run* from place to place....

[Digit]

Those burgers look good, Emiliana. Too bad I'm nowhere near Ohio Another interesting thought I had after reading that answer, I'm pretty sure Carl's Junior and Hardees are the same company doing business under the two different names, because they both use that smiley-faced star in their logos. One must have acquired the other and found keeping the separate identities to be more profitable (established identities in their respective localities). I've also seen otherwise identical walk-up burger joints Checker's and Rally's.

[Violet]

Carl's Jr and Hardee's are the same company. Technically they're different, but they're held by the same company and that parent company does all their marketing and general business stuff (source: friend who works on their account in an ad agency. No he can't change anything because he's super junior-level right now).

[Shrinky Dink]

In regards to BQ #84584 about light sensitivity, I sneeze when I first see a really bright light. For example, I used to sneeze nearly every day at lunch in elementary because I would walk outside and the sun would usually be high and bright enough that it would cause me to sneeze, but only just after walking outside, after that I would be good to go play. However, sneezing around bright lights isn't really a big deal for me and doesn't really answer the asker's question.

[Katya]

In regards to BQ #84584 about light sensitivity, I sneeze when I first see a really bright light. For example, I used to sneeze nearly every day at lunch in elementary because I would walk outside and the sun would usually be high and bright enough that it would cause me to sneeze, but only just after walking outside, after that I would be good to go play. However, sneezing around bright lights isn't really a big deal for me and doesn't really answer the asker's question.

I think you're talking about photic sneezing: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Photic_sneeze_reflex

[Zedability]

And by "can" make your breasts grow, I mean "birth control has made my breasts grow a full cup size literally every time I change a dose or miss too many pills and it's driving me insane."

[Violet]

And by "can" make your breasts grow, I mean "birth control has made my breasts grow a full cup size literally every time I change a dose or miss too many pills and it's driving me insane."

Unsolicited advice, but the long acting reversible methods (IUD, implant, etc.) have had less of this side effect than nuvaring did for me (and a moderate reversal of the previous nuvaring effect). It could be worth trying if/when you have insurance that covers it.

[TheBlackSheep]

http://theboard.byu.edu/questions/84574/

Shoutout to Ardilla for his shoutout. What a lovely thing to say. Made my day.

Also, Zed, what a lovely answer. I like that you focused so much on the pacing. I was just talking to Unlucky Stuntman about this today, though regarding grief. I really needed this reminder from her, and from you.

Also also, somebody tell Ardilla to friend me on Facebook.

[Zedability]

Thanks It's been kind of the theme of my life recently so it's been on my mind a lot.

[Portia]

I don't know if Luciana's personally experienced any major loss herself, but I found her answer in response to the daughter whose mother is experiencing complicated, prolonged grieving to be very insightful. In fact, it was hard for me to keep it together, because it was like, wow, maybe I'm not so alone.

Everything you said is spot-on. You'd make a good counselor or writer! Every reminder of the life you wanted, the life you expected, is made much worse by being surrounded by other people who seem to be doing so much better than you. Maybe one of her children has gotten married or had children themselves, being in their teens/twenties. Maybe she wants to date, maybe she doesn't, maybe either choice makes her feel guilty. Being hit with it at every family get-together, every holiday, every photograph ... I don't know. It's hell. I was definitely the one who "held it together" after. I dated a LOT, I went back to school and graduated, I got a good job and moved away. I didn't even cry at the funeral. (Of course that says nothing about how it was in private.)

I also experienced a serious "going off the rails" at the three-year mark. And yeah, I think counseling is totally advisable in the short-term.

In the long term, I think it comes down to building a life that you want to without the person that feels like can never be replaced. If there's a gaping hole in your life, I think it has to be filled with something. Might as well be becoming the person you want to be.

I've been listening to Belle and Sebastain. These lyrics seem à propos. :-)

Allie, what would you do?
When there's bombs in the middle east, you want to hurt yourself
When there's knives in the city streets, you want to end yourself
When there's fun in your mother's house, you want to cry yourself to sleep

Allie, what would you do?
With your fears, because they're adding one by one
And your mountains are obscured behind the sun
And the person that you could be is crumbling into dust

When your seven-year plan happens to someone else
And the people in your life you would happily shelf
When day falls night, you are truly on your own?

You're in the mess 'cause you thought
You'd be someone else
'Cause the tricks in your head are a lie

Thanks again! Maybe it will be the motivation I need to actually recognize the depressive episode for what it is. >_<