Too Much Damn Swearing

[Dragon Lady]

I remember riding the bus home one day when another kid on the bus was telling a joke where the f-word was the punch line. But instead of saying it, everyone laughed, because the punchline was obvious. But I had no clue. And I kept trying to get them to tell me. And they wouldn't, because it was a swear word and they weren't supposed to say it. (But clearly they were allowed to tell jokes about it?) But I was really confused and was sure that I knew all the swear words, so I was going through all of them in my head, trying to make any of them match. But none did. So they started saying things like "It starts with F". Which REALLY confused me, because none of the swear words I knew started with F. And then they started telling me words it rhymed with. (Kids are so clever about getting around saying a bad word.) I was still clueless.

Finally my brother joined the conversation and he realized what was going on and he quickly ushered me out of it and told me that it was a good thing that I didn't know the word and that I should be proud that I didn't know it and that I shouldn't try to figure it out. Of course I didn't listen and I asked friends at school the next day and someone told me and confirmed that I did not, in fact, know it. And that was the end of it. But I did continue to be shocked that there were swear words I didn't know. And to this day, I often hear reference to words that are bad, but I don't know what they are or what they mean. But now I've curbed my interest and just ignore it and don't try to seek it out.

[Craig Jessop]

Ha, that reminds me of how I found out what the F-word was. I think I was in second grade, and we were having one of those bus evacuation drills, where the kids all get on the bus, hear how to exit safely, and all get to jump out the emergency exit. They were awesome.

Anyway, there were some kids who were giggling that the F-word was scratched into one of the leather seats. I had always wondered what the F-word was but never wanted to ask. So on my way to the emergency exit to jump out (seriously, it was the best day ever), I took a peek. I was thoroughly underwhelmed.

(A few months later, during the classic birds and the bees conversation, my mom told me what it meant.)