To continue trying to graduate from grad school or not?

[Whistler]

Okay. Me again. You know I've had trouble with my stupid thesis in the past. I was hoping to graduate this semester, and my professors have already assured me that I'm not ready to defend yet. Honestly, procrastinating and working on my thesis this entire year has been driving me nuts. More specifically, making me anxious (I get things like stomachaches and tight muscles). I'm trying to decide if I should spend $600 and give my Master's another semester, or if I should cut my losses now and try to forget about the whole ordeal.

Things that are stopping me from quitting now: I don't have anything better to do and I might regret it in the future. Also, it's embarrassing to be a quitter.

Things that make me want to quit now: I'm tired of being anxious and the field I want to go into (game journalism) doesn't require a Master's degree. Also, my committee seems like a trinity of capricious gods, who tell me to do one thing, then tell me to delete it, and then tell me to put it back in again. I feel like they have some kind of vision of a final product that I don't have a clue about.

Anyway... do you have any general advice? I'm definitely going to pray some more about it, but from my initial pokes to God it seems like He's fine either way, honestly.

[Katya]

I've had several friends who dropped out of grad programs for various reasons, and almost all of them are happier for it. Some found great jobs, some went on to other graduate programs that were a better fit, one is currently a SAHM. (The only person I can think of offhand who wishes she'd finished had to drop out for health reasons, so it wasn't really her choice.)

I realize that the nature of academia is to feel like you're a failure if you don't finish because there's a big old brass ring at the end in the form of a diploma, but I don't think that's a good enough reason to keep going with something that makes you miserable and won't help you get a job or otherwise greatly improve your life.

One of the friends I mentioned above stayed in her PhD program for at least a year longer than she should have (by her own estimation) because she had a hard time letting go of her self-identity as someone who was headed for a PhD and a life in academia. She didn't know who she would be if she dropped out. It took some other major changes in her life to finally push her out the door, and now she has a job she loves at a fabulous company and she thinks she might go back to school some day in an entirely different field.

[Katya]

No one else has commented on this, so obviously that means everyone agrees with me.

But as I think some more, I think that whether or not you regret moving on to other things (I'm trying not to say "quitting") will depend largely on you. If you can establish another identity for yourself (or let go of this part of your identity), you'll be fine. If not, then keep going (although I feel like stomach aches and muscle tension would be a big motivator to move on to something else).

[NerdGirl]

No one else has commented on this, so obviously that means everyone agrees with me.

Yes it does. I wanted to quit my PhD up until the day I handed in my revised thesis to the grad studies office. Now, several months later, I think I'm glad that I finished, but I don't actually think that I would have have regretted not finishing. If I had failed my defense or hadn't been able to talk my committee into approving my revisions, I would have quit, because it was really negatively affecting my mental health. There's nothing wrong with quitting. I know lots of people who have quit grad school and most don't regret it. And quitting also doesn't have to be forever. If you decide you're done right now, and you decide a semester later that you really want to go back and try to finish, you can do that. If you're really uncertain but you know that you're miserable right now, you can always just take a leave of absence and then decide if you want go back or not.

[Talons]

"Also, my committee seems like a trinity of capricious gods, who tell me to do one thing, then tell me to delete it, and then tell me to put it back in again."
Isn't that the most irritating thing in the world? You spend hours doing something, then get told to correct it. OK, no big deal, they are the authority. Then later they ask why you didn't include it.
Sometimes I feel like people are just looking for something to criticize, rather than actually trying to help.

[wired]

"Also, my committee seems like a trinity of capricious gods, who tell me to do one thing, then tell me to delete it, and then tell me to put it back in again."
Isn't that the most irritating thing in the world? You spend hours doing something, then get told to correct it. OK, no big deal, they are the authority. Then later they ask why you didn't include it.
Sometimes I feel like people are just looking for something to criticize, rather than actually trying to help.

You just described academia in a nutshell.

[Yarjka]

"Also, my committee seems like a trinity of capricious gods, who tell me to do one thing, then tell me to delete it, and then tell me to put it back in again."
Isn't that the most irritating thing in the world? You spend hours doing something, then get told to correct it. OK, no big deal, they are the authority. Then later they ask why you didn't include it.
Sometimes I feel like people are just looking for something to criticize, rather than actually trying to help.

You just described academia in a nutshell.

While it's good to know I'm not the only one dealing with this, it's also very depressing to realize everyone is dealing with this. Does every Ph.D. student think about quitting? It seems like it...

[Whistler]

yeah, right now I think I'm learning towards quitting. Thank you Katya for your helpful anecdotal data! I'm thinking of going back into piano technology or something. I'd really rather spend $600 on that, and I'm pretty sure I don't want to teach English and stuff (as I've mentioned). But I'll probably spend a few more days thinking about it to be sure.

[Katya]

I'm thinking of going back into piano technology or something.

<-- green with envy