Dating Advice

[Craig Jessop]

I don't need any right now, but there is so much romantical stuff flying around the Random Chatter section I figured we could use a heading just for stuff about boys and girls and how dumb they are.

Aaaand I just wrote a long paragraph that, upon looking at the RC stuff, was already totally resolved. (In the way I predicted, I might add).

[Defy V]

They are dumb, but eventually it gets better. I was just at a wedding reception where I happened to be sitting by two guys from my freshman year. One of them I had been infatuated with on and off for a good six months; the other had had a major crush on me for over two years (until I informed him I was engaged).

I think they were both tied for people I have been most angry at, and yet there we all were chatting pleasantly like I would have with any other of my friends. Considering that I hadn't been able to look in the face of the one who had had the crush on me whenever we ran into each other on campus for two school years (I was still inexplicably furious and awkward about his "I want to spent the rest of my life with you" letter that I received despite telling him I was seriously dating someone in my last letter [and receiving his letter a week after I got engaged]), it felt like really nice closure.

But yes, we were all really really dumb back in the day. I've made a rule though that you can't judge a person for being stupid about relationships if they're under the age of 20, and it's made it easier to forgive myself and others for past awkwardness.

[Defy V]

I just realized my story had no dating advice. So here's some (based on my rule): If you are dating a girl younger than the age of 20, you can't expect her to be un-flaky. Take it as a pleasant surprise if she turns out not to be confusing and infuriating.

[UffishThought]

Your amnesty period only extends to teenagers? Your 20+ friends must all have it figured out pretty well!

[Defy V]

Well, it helps that I was 20 not too long ago (just a few years), and so I tend to forgive myself after a few years for "youthful follies." When I'm 30 I'll probably up it to 25, and so on.

[Imogen]

I have decided I hate dating men in their 20s. The only man in his 20s I am crushing on is moving away, and the rest are annoying and have no ambition. At least, the ones I'm around are like that. I just wish the older men I tend to be attracted to weren't all married! Obviously I'm attracted to the qualities that make them marriage material, but someone else has already snatched them up!

[Fredjikrang]

Girls are confusing and frustrating. That's all I've got.

[Portia]

I have decided I hate dating men in their 20s. The only man in his 20s I am crushing on is moving away, and the rest are annoying and have no ambition. At least, the ones I'm around are like that. I just wish the older men I tend to be attracted to weren't all married! Obviously I'm attracted to the qualities that make them marriage material, but someone else has already snatched them up!

I'm definitely in the "all men are moving away" boat. I don't think there will be a guy that I like closer than Denver come the fall. I actually think ambition has gotten in the way of me and men . . . they choose their ambitions over me!

ETA: And this guy (who is, I think, at that perfect age, right on the cusp of 20s and 30s) was all casually like "oh yeah, I think you'd like Denver, it's like here but with a lot more people, a lot of jobs." I did that thing where you're like what? do you envision me following you to the ends of the earth? 'cause i just envisioned it but am going to casually act like I didn't.