Humor will not be tolerated!! -Portia

A friend of mine who goes to BYU-I posted something on Facebook that he no doubt meant as a joke but it still just rubbed me the wrong way. I hate making people feel bad when they aren't being serious so I'm posting here instead of on Facebook. This is definitely not aimed at anyone on the Board. If anything I'd expect this crowd to be the most understanding but I still need to get this off my chest.

Before I start ranting I should probably explain my background. I grew up in Washington State then moved to Utah in high school. When I first moved I had the typical non-Utahn superiority complex but I quickly realized that most people didn't fit the image that I'd always had of "Utah Mormons". Since then I've gotten more defensive about Utah especially since so many people make fun of it.

Mostly I'm just getting sick of having so many people stereotype and mock a group that makes up a large percentage of the student body at BYU (and BYU-I, I just checked) especially coming from people who have no experience with Utah outside of BYU. I have met far so many kind, open-minded, and intelligent people from Utah who don't fit any of the Utah stereotypes. I usually can take a joke pretty well but this is just one thing that I can't stand.

I feel better now Thanks for your time, you can go back to your lives now.

And apparently this is a deal breaker because I was interested in this guy and now my interest is zero. I don't necessarily WANT to live in Utah after I get married, but seeing as all of my family's here I don't think I could go for a guy who's absolutely opposed to the idea.

The Happy Medium wrote:Before I start ranting I should probably explain my background. I grew up in Washington State then moved to Utah in high school. When I first moved I had the typical non-Utahn superiority complex but I quickly realized that most people didn't fit the image that I'd always had of "Utah Mormons". Since then I've gotten more defensive about Utah especially since so many people make fun of it.

Mostly I'm just getting sick of having so many people stereotype and mock a group that makes up a large percentage of the student body at BYU (and BYU-I, I just checked) especially coming from people who have no experience with Utah outside of BYU. I have met far so many kind, open-minded, and intelligent people from Utah who don't fit any of the Utah stereotypes. I usually can take a joke pretty well but this is just one thing that I can't stand.

I'm with you, sister.

Me too.

I think it's good etiquette when a guest to not use someone else's towel*, coo over the babies, and to not criticize the cooking. If you're a guest in someone's state of your own free will, seems only polite to refrain from endless complaints and nagging.

*or shower-toothbrush, or shower-mango

Going by Portia's statement, I HATE UTAH! YOU'RE ALL UTAHRDS! #trollolololol

I've got to say, there's definitely some confirmation bias at work here. For instance, I had two roommates my freshman year. One of them was the most hopelessly innocent, I-thought-this-was-an-exaggerated-stetereotype "Utah Mormon" I've ever met. If she had been my only Utah roommate, I might have started taking the stereotype more seriously.

However, my other roommate was also from Utah, and she used to keep a Costco-sized flat of Coke in her closet and pretend to be a lesbian to get out of dates.

I stereotype people from Utah and my name is Whistler.

Estimated Time of Arrival: And I'm a Mormon (since I can't actually edit Whistler's post. Use your imagination).

I wouldn't ever really make a joke to someone I didn't know super well. One of my really good friends moved to Utah when we were fourteen, so now every time we hangout I make jokes about how she's turning Utah girl on me, but I would never say that to someone who didn't know it was just a joke.

The Happy Medium wrote:Mostly I'm just getting sick of having so many people stereotype and mock a group that makes up a large percentage of the student body at BYU (and BYU-I, I just checked) especially coming from people who have no experience with Utah outside of BYU.

Also, you can flip this around and point out that Utahns are actually in the minority at BYU (I think they're around 35%), so if you're basing a stereotype on the majority of BYU students or the average BYU student, you're including people from outside Utah. (And that's not even taking into account the selection bias of Utahns who choose to attend BYU vs. other schools.)

I just go by the rule that all jokes are in, and then I don't have to worry about appropriateness.

You can't call me racist or sexist (or statist?) if I make fun of everyone equally.

we can still call you racist or statist. But you will feel better about yourself.

Zedability wrote:
However, my other roommate was also from Utah, and she used to keep a Costco-sized flat of Coke in her closet and pretend to be a lesbian to get out of dates.

I'm breaking my streak of silence to say that pretending to be a lesbian to get out of dates is beyond bitchy, not to mention highly offensive to the LGBTQ community.

The end.

UnluckyStuntman wrote:

Zedability wrote:
However, my other roommate was also from Utah, and she used to keep a Costco-sized flat of Coke in her closet and pretend to be a lesbian to get out of dates.

I'm breaking my streak of silence to say that pretending to be a lesbian to get out of dates is beyond bitchy, not to mention highly offensive to the LGBTQ community.

The end.

Not to mention perpetuating the idea that women don't have the right to say "no" to propositions that don't interest them. I sometimes feel like a missionary for this, but seriously ladies, say "no" if a guy doesn't do it for you. Will prove invaluable in academia, the workforce, and in serious relationships.

Also, I think Utahns like caffeine more than other Mormons.

UnluckyStuntman wrote:

Zedability wrote:
However, my other roommate was also from Utah, and she used to keep a Costco-sized flat of Coke in her closet and pretend to be a lesbian to get out of dates.

I'm breaking my streak of silence to say that pretending to be a lesbian to get out of dates is beyond bitchy, not to mention highly offensive to the LGBTQ community.

The end.

It was a symptom of larger immaturity on the dating scene on her part, and I thought it was incredibly dumb. My point is just that pretending to be a lesbian didn't seem very "Utah Mormony."

Zedability wrote:

UnluckyStuntman wrote:

Zedability wrote:
However, my other roommate was also from Utah, and she used to keep a Costco-sized flat of Coke in her closet and pretend to be a lesbian to get out of dates.

I'm breaking my streak of silence to say that pretending to be a lesbian to get out of dates is beyond bitchy, not to mention highly offensive to the LGBTQ community.

The end.

It was a symptom of larger immaturity on the dating scene on her part, and I thought it was incredibly dumb. My point is just that pretending to be a lesbian didn't seem very "Utah Mormony."

& i hope that's due to our maturity, and not "ew, lesbians!"

Sorry to possibly derail the conversation, but I also wanted to second the seconding of someone else's seconding of the seconding of Happy Medium's original statement. (Or however many secondings that is--I ain't no mathematician.) Utah insults are one of my biggest pet peeves, and not just because I'm from Utah. I don't understand why it's only acceptable to make jokes about other states, while it's okay to openly despise the supposed "Utah culture." Bad houseguest manners, like Portia said, and bad form all around.

so... I agree that it's rude to generalize. But I still experience culture shock sometimes. Like how all the kids in our neighborhood run around unsupervised all summer... that never happened in my neighborhood growing up. And snow. I know I might live here for a long time, and I've been trying to get used to it and look on the positive side (when it's really hot out, swimming feels great! When you have a lot of snow, you can go... snowshoeing or cross-country skiing. It doesn't smell like smoke at all the bus stations! There are programs for children and piano teachers everywhere! There are lots of people are really into board games around!).

I'm sounding like a whiny Californian again, but some of us are just homesick or used to something different. And by some of us I mean me.

Whistler wrote:Like how all the kids in our neighborhood run around unsupervised all summer... that never happened in my neighborhood growing up.

I feel just the opposite, that the kids here are on extremely short leashes, and that they are nigh-helpless. I am in more-yuppieish East Salt Lake County, and I was born in very libertarian Wyoming, which may affect things.