Genealogy

[mic0]

I'm currently reading a genealogy book my grandfather put together this last year and it is wonderful. It makes me realize, though, that I don't know a lot about my mother's side of the family (no one has done any sort of compilation of family history there) or my husband's family (they have an interesting history, but again no one has really written it down in one place; although I was able to convince my in-laws to make a family tree that goes back a few generations). So, if you were to ask your oldest living relative questions about his or her life, what questions would you want to know? What questions would yield the best results? I've been thinking about asking questions by decade ("what was school like in the 30s, 40s?" "what was your job during the 50s?" etc.), but I'm not sure beyond that. Have any of you done personal interviews with family before?

[Giovanni Schwartz]

I'd ask them about their friends. My grandma told me about her best friend as a little girl, and then what they would do for fun, and the stories just kept flowing. So I wouldn't bother asking anything too specific about the world around them, because (if they're like me) they'll just be like "Uh.. I dunno." But if you ask specifically about something like their favorite (or least favorite) teacher, then that would probably be a more effective way of doing it.

Also, one of my secrets for asking good questions: some people say not to ask a "yes no" or 1 word answer type question. I've personally found these to be okay, or even great, as long as they're followed up by a "why?" or a "so how did that influence you?"

Possible questions:
1) Who was your best friend when you were little? What did you like to do together? What's your best memory with them?
2) Where did you work for your first job? What did you do there? Who was your boss? How did you interact with him?
3) What is the best vacation that you ever went on as a kid? Why did you guys go there? What was the best part? What made it memorable?
4) Where did you guys live? Did you have your own room? Who did you share with, or did others in the family share?
5) What did your family used to do on Sundays? Did Mom make dinner? What was the best meal? What was your role in helping?
6) What are your hobbies nowadays? How did you get into it? What did you used to do for fun? Was anyone else in your family involved in it?
7) How did you feel when __________? What was life like for your during __________? Where were you when__________? (I was thinking more historical events, like the segregation, JFK's assassination, the Depression (if they're old enough) or the moon landing for these.)
8) Did you ever do any crazy things when you were a kid? What made you want to do that? Was it worth it? Do you regret it? Would you do it again?
9) Where was your dream house when you were little? Why did you want to live there?
10) What was the most important thing that ever happened to you? What is your defining characteristic? What makes you "you"? How did you develop that attribute?

Remember: these aren't questions you ask as a list. The ones that are grouped together could be in the same conversation, but throw in filler questions. Every one of these questions could benefit from a follow-up question of some sort. Meanwhile, be prepared to stray from your script. If Grandma Mico alludes to another story while telling you about her best friend, by all means, ask about the other story right away! You can come back to the friend later.

I would recommend not making it a formal interview, but making it more of a "oh hai grandma I just wanted to come over/call and chat" to avoid nerves.

Good luck! Sounds like fun! If you find any good stories, be sure to share.

[Yarjka]

Make sure to ask about past boyfriends/girlfriends. Those stories always revealed the most unexpected things to me about my grandparents. Make sure to ask for stories about siblings, as you'll often get stories you wouldn't have heard about from the source themselves. If the siblings are alive, it's helpful to do a follow up with them (great uncles/aunts - ask them about your grandparents too for more perspective). It turns you into a bit of a gossip columnist rather than a genealogist, but it's a fine line, really. You don't have to write any of the stuff you find out, but it's helpful to have the perspective. Mainly I just find it's helpful to get them talking about things that they assumed you wouldn't be interested in. Whenever my grandma would say "oh, you wouldn't be interested in that," it usually meant something I would find incredibly interesting.

If your grandparents are anything like mine were, grandpa will tell you about the price of bread when he was a kid probably twenty times over, without any asking on your part. You can have them fill out a more formal questionnaire for that kind of stuff.

[Katya]

There's a really great book called To Our Children's Children that's a full of question prompts for people wanting to write their memoirs. It's aimed at about my grandparents' generation (there are questions about the Great Depression, etc.), but most of the questions in it are broad enough for any generation. The questions are very similar to the ones suggested by Giovanni Schwarz—but there are hundreds of them, broadly organized by theme.

[thatonemom]

I like questions about traditions and how people celebrated holidays as a kid.
Favorite/least favorite subjects in school. What was the school like? (one room, multiple grades together, how many different teachers they had)
First date and girl/boyfriend stories are always funny. How people met their spouse and how they got engaged.
Things they remember about their parents and grandparents.
Talents and hobbies and jobs.
What kinds of clothing they wore.
When their family got a TV or computer or internet for the first time. (Or any technology type things)

Most of the time when I've done interviews like this it doesn't take much to get people talking. It's a lot of fun.

[Katya]

How people met their spouse and how they got engaged.

I had Thanksgiving with my roommate's family last year and I ended up asking her grandparents how they met and got engaged. It was a great story (especially hearing both sides) and I think that some of their family learned new details about their courtship.

[mic0]

Thanks! Sorry, I don't have much to say, just that these are all great ideas and I'm excited to use them. My grandma is in her 90s so I'm going to have to make a special trip to her house (in California) and do as much of this as possible, but I think it will be enlightening and worth it. Thanks again.

[mic0]

I'm heading to California tomorrow with my mom to find out family history!

I would recommend not making it a formal interview, but making it more of a "oh hai grandma I just wanted to come over/call and chat" to avoid nerves.

Unfortunately, I did not give my mom this advice and now my grandma and aunt (who lives with my grandma as a caretaker basically and is extremely paranoid) do not want us to record anything for fear that it will go "on the internet." :\ My dad suggests we just hide the camera and record surreptitiously. We'll see! Any of you had trouble of that sort? Should be an interesting trip...

[Yarjka]

Unfortunately, I did not give my mom this advice and now my grandma and aunt (who lives with my grandma as a caretaker basically and is extremely paranoid) do not want us to record anything for fear that it will go "on the internet." :\

I can't wait to see the secret genealogy tape of mic0's grandma. The internets are waiting with anticipation.

[Wisteria]

hahahaha! I would love to hear how this turned out, especially since recording it is by far the best way to make sure you get all the details! I interviewed my grandma for her biography nine years ago, and my tape recorder was a lifesaver!