Dating Advice

[Tally M.]

I made this video for my brother's birthday--definitely a ton of fun to make

What dating advice do you wish you had received?

[Dead Cat]

That video was hilarious. Especially with the really horrible advice.
As for what advice I wish I had...don't drag things out forever and ever if things aren't working (though this one is more for the relationship stuff, which Bro Tally shouldn't be thinking about much yet).

[Yog in Neverland]

I'm just weirded out because one of those kids in that video...I went to a weird K-12 school with for a few years. And he was a lot smaller then and played The Little Drummer Boy in our school nativity.

[Tally M.]

It is BYU--'tis a small world after all.

I actually was talking to one of my friends about the video (who was in it as well), and it turns out he really appreciated the advice as well. Apparently he was glad to know that "confidence is key."

[UffishThought]

I'm not convinced about the "don't be cheap" advice. Here's the way I feel about money and dates:

Inexpensive dates are fine, even preferable. You can make food, go to an inexpensive place, go to a museum, go for a walk, play games, whatever. It can be free, it can be cheap, and I'll be fine. If you spend a lot on me, I actually feel uncomfortable. That's true of most women I know.

The problem comes in when you act like you resent the money you spent on the date. Presumably, you are the one who picked the activity and the location, and you could have avoided the cost easily. But instead, you invite me, and then it feels like you're blaming me. I end up feeling guilty, which doesn't seem like the emotion you'd most want a girl you asked out to feel.

TLDR: Being cheap is fine. Complaining about your money woes on your date is not.

[Tally M.]

I agree. I mean, it's okay if the date doesn't cost a lot. Just don't complain if it does.

[Katya]

I'm not convinced about the "don't be cheap" advice. Here's the way I feel about money and dates:

Inexpensive dates are fine, even preferable. You can make food, go to an inexpensive place, go to a museum, go for a walk, play games, whatever. It can be free, it can be cheap, and I'll be fine. If you spend a lot on me, I actually feel uncomfortable. That's true of most women I know.

The problem comes in when you act like you resent the money you spent on the date. Presumably, you are the one who picked the activity and the location, and you could have avoided the cost easily. But instead, you invite me, and then it feels like you're blaming me. I end up feeling guilty, which doesn't seem like the emotion you'd most want a girl you asked out to feel.

TLDR: Being cheap is fine. Complaining about your money woes on your date is not.

Right. This gets into the icky territory of "I paid a lot for this date, therefore I deserve X, Y, or Z from you."

[Marduk]

I agree, that's pretty unfair.

An expensive date does not obligate you to solve math equations.

[Katya]

I agree, that's pretty unfair.

An expensive date does not obligate you to solve math equations.

I know, right? Get a math tutor, already!

[Squirrel]

Yup. I really enjoy going to dinner, and going to something fun that's paid for. It's flattering to have someone spend money on a date he planned in order to be with me.

I also really enjoy doing something absolutely free. I find it attractive that a guy feels comfortable enough to come up with something cheap and creative. It tells me they're frugal, but not a miser.

[Tally M.]

I like creative dates. They're usually more interesting than the norm.

My dates recently are to concerts that I've paid for. Disadvantage of being in music classes...I *have* to attend concerts...I rather want to attend concerts.