Humor will not be tolerated!! -Portia

And when I say you got married "young" at 26, I don't mean it in the sense that 26 is a really young age to get married at (it's actually not, statistically), I mean it in the sense that on the spectrum of young-middle aged-older-elderly, 26 is in the young category.

And, I imagine, knowing many men who want to be dads, they know that while they may be fertile that long, much of the "dad" stuff gets harder and harder to do with age. My super-fit grandpa played football with the grandkids into his 70s, but not everybody's up for that, for sure.

I don't know if many men are aware of this, but there also seems to be another biological reason for men to have children earlier in life. As reported in this New York Times article, research has shown a link between paternal age and an increased risk of autism and schizophrenia. As men age, their sperm is more likely to carry random mutations, many of which may be harmless, but some of which can cause developmental problems in the child. This is an interesting statistic:

The research team found that the average child born to a 20-year-old father had 25 random mutations that could be traced to paternal genetic material. The number increased steadily by two mutations a year, reaching 65 mutations for offspring of 40-year-old men.

The average number of mutations coming from the mother’s side was 15, no matter her age, the study found.

NerdGirl wrote:I'm just using "biological clock" as a figure of speech. But since most guys tend to be interested in women who are close to their age, I think that for many of them, when they start to reach the age at which women's fertility starts to decline, they start to see their own chances to have kids slipping away. If a guy is single and getting close to 50, for example, he's still very fertile, but the women he's dating or interested in may not be.

Makes sense.

Cindy wrote:I don't know if many men are aware of this, but there also seems to be another biological reason for men to have children earlier in life. As reported in this New York Times article, research has shown a link between paternal age and an increased risk of autism and schizophrenia. As men age, their sperm is more likely to carry random mutations, many of which may be harmless, but some of which can cause developmental problems in the child. This is an interesting statistic:

The research team found that the average child born to a 20-year-old father had 25 random mutations that could be traced to paternal genetic material. The number increased steadily by two mutations a year, reaching 65 mutations for offspring of 40-year-old men.

The average number of mutations coming from the mother’s side was 15, no matter her age, the study found.

I, for one, was not aware of this.

my husband wants children and loves babies. I think he's better with babies than I am.

Portia wrote:

S.A.M. wrote:Ha! Gets even better. That's when you will meet someone. My wife was so mad when she met me because after a couple of dates she was pretty sure we would get married and it wasn't in her plan at the time, she really wasn't interested in getting married at all. She sometimes jokes (really, she's just kidding, I think) that I messed up everything.

I have someone. Meeting guys is not the issue...

Why do some women have no problems meeting guys or having one boyfriend after another, while others (including some women readers of this board) have never had a boyfriend? What makes the difference?

um... romantic aggression?

vorpal blade wrote:Why do some women have no problems meeting guys or having one boyfriend after another, while others (including some women readers of this board) have never had a boyfriend? What makes the difference?

And sometimes you can't tell why. No reason, just no success.

Then, there are some great women who have just never managed to have something "click" enough for a relationship. They go on plenty of dates and are really involved socially, but they have a hard time finding someone who suites their personality. Not because of personality problems always. More like ... priorities. For example: while I care about certain aspects of a relationship, I'm often willing to let go of one or two or five important points at the beginning of a relationship, with the plan of developing them later. Things like common interests can be cultivated over time. Other girls aren't as willing to risk not being able to develop those elements. Whenever I go through a break-up, I look at that theory and think it is wise. But I'm learning a balance between the two methods. I hope that I am learning what points should be a pre-relationship deal breaker and which are able to be developed once we start dating.

I've heard smart girls say that they don't get dates because boys are intimidated by them. I've heard tall girls say that it is because boys are intimidated by their height. I've heard successful women say it is because boys assume that she is only interested in a career. I've heard women who are less than the ideal in physical beauty according to the standards of the world say that men are shallow and only looking for a trophy wife.

I suppose there is some truth in all of this. It must be hard to never get asked out on dates, and they must wonder about women who complain about their boyfriends.

I wish I could find a tall, smart, successful girl that liked me. Preferably a year or two older than me. Doesn't matter if she's not a looker. A genuine personality is much more important to me.

Too bad all the girls in my singles' ward are 18, 19, or living with their parents at the age of older-than-that. No one in the happy medium, really.

My friend Lexi Khan would tell you that if you want something bad enough you will make it happen.

I don't think we can always MAKE stuff happen, but I think we should keep trying--and part of trying to make something happen is trying new ways to make it happen if the "old" ways aren't working. In regards to dating, I don't mean going to questionable bars to look for dates or getting a mail-order bride/groom or anything; I just mean taking time occasionally to evaluate our efforts and perhaps seek input from trusted peers. For example, I'm sure some people would have more success in dating if they were less picky about unimportant turn-offs or better at communicating their interest in someone or whatnot.

Hm, maybe I should take my own advice.

EDIT: But of course, if an approach ain't broke, then we don't need to fix it. We should just keep at it even if we don't see success. President Uchtdorf said some words about living the gospel that I think are also applicable here: "We have to stay with it. We don’t acquire eternal life [and finding one's eternal companion is part of that] in a sprint—this is a race of endurance."
I think we can continually improve, but that doesn't mean that we have to throw out our "technique" for a new one every day. Maybe just do variations on a theme.