Bras and Society

[bobtheenchantedone]

http://theboard.byu.edu/questions/73342/

Bras are very important to society, and every woman should wear one while in public.

I strongly disagree with this blanket statement. The necessity of a bra when in "public" depends on the woman (and boobs) involved, on the actual place, on how public it is, on the dress code, on the specific outfit...

[mic0]

I thought that was such a funny statement! It is true that plenty of (generally) small-boobed women don't wear bras in public. I (with somewhat larger boobs) prefer to wear a bra for comfort and style reasons, but I imagine if I had small boobs I would DEFINITELY go without a bra often.

As for something else in that whole question, I've got to say I read the advice on reddit for bra fitting a few months ago, bought some new bras, and they were WAY better. Like, I REALLY had the wrong size and it is so obvious now. It was a little obvious then, too, but I didn't know what was wrong. If anyone feels like their bra isn't quite right they should definitely make sure they have the right size.

[Squirrel]

I am embarrassed for women when they don't wear a bra in public, and they need one.

[mic0]

Sorry, are you embarrassed when they don't wear a bra in public AND they need one (by your standards)? Or are you embarrassed all the time when women don't wear bras in public because they do need bras?

Also, this whole thing reminds me of the Seinfeld episode where Elaine gives her friend a bra for her birthday (or some event) because the friend never wears a bra with her shirts normally. Then the woman goes in public wearing a bra as a shirt and Jerry and Kramer get in a crash because they are distracted (presumably WAY more than they would have been when she wasn't wearing any bra but had a normal shirt).

[bobtheenchantedone]

Ha! Marduk told me about that episode.

At my size I'm probably one of those women who should always wear a bra in public (I currently wear one under my swimming suit because there isn't enough support!) and yet I went braless for several months last year due to inability to replace my old bra and felt no shame or discomfort about it. Sure, I didn't look my best, but there was nothing to do about it.

[Portia]

I am embarrassed for women when they don't wear a bra in public, and they need one.

If your Facebook is any indication, you also are (likely?) opposed to women wearing bikinis, which is extreme.

[Portia]

Also, this whole thing reminds me of the Seinfeld episode where Elaine gives her friend a bra for her birthday (or some event) because the friend never wears a bra with her shirts normally. Then the woman goes in public wearing a bra as a shirt and Jerry and Kramer get in a crash because they are distracted (presumably WAY more than they would have been when she wasn't wearing any bra but had a normal shirt).

I don't even like bras, Jerry! ;)

[Integrating Editor]

As a girl who has tried on 30A bras that were too big in the cups, I've always found our society's insistence on bras to be ridiculous. Whenever I go to the pool, I see men with a lot more breast tissue than I have, and some of them aren't even the heavily overweight men; they're the really muscular guys too. And yet no one tells those men they "need" support and that the motion of that tissue is immodest. I've even seen men wearing tight shirts who show just as much nipple as my not-particularly-erect nipples would if I was wearing a clingy shirt and no bra. That's not considered immodest, and yet me showing precisely that much would get me labeled as a slut. Do I need a bra for any purpose other than modesty? Absolutely not. I can run and bike braless without any discomfort at all. And yet society insists that I at least wear a shelf-bra cami or a shirt made with heavy material so that no one has to have the terrible experience of seeing the hint of a girl's nipple. Bah humbug. Why would a girl's nipples be such a big deal while a man's (similarly shaped and sized) would not? Because mine someday might feed a baby? I don't get it.

[Talons]

I don't think there's anything truly wrong about not wearing one in public, but it's like not wearing underwear and putting a sign on your pants declaring your lack of underwear to the world. Actually that might be a bit extreme, maybe it's more like wearing pajamas.

[Yarjka]

I always thought the double standard on nipple exposure never made much sense. I was a very modest (shy) child and always resented having to play on the 'skins' side during P.E. Just because I'm a boy doesn't mean I want to show my nipples to everyone.

However, now I'm less bashful about my body. I ride a bike and it's nice to be able to ride to the park and remove my shirt without feeling any shame. I wish women had the same freedom.

[vorpal blade]

Why would a girl's nipples be such a big deal while a man's (similarly shaped and sized) would not? Because mine someday might feed a baby? I don't get it.

Do you really not get it, or are you just venting frustration at the way things are?

I'd volunteer to answer your questions, but alas, you would want the answer from someone of your same demographic and location.

Sure have been a number of questions and responses lately from women unbosoming on the subject of bras.

[Tally M.]

I'm definitely the minority here...I guess I just don't mind. I don't have any specific problem with wearing a bra, and it doesn't bug me that much.

[NerdGirl]

Bras don't even really stop your nipples from showing, in my experience (unless there's a fair amount of padding involved).

[SmurfBlueSnuggie]

I'm definitely the minority here...I guess I just don't mind. I don't have any specific problem with wearing a bra, and it doesn't bug me that much.

Don't worry Tally, you're not alone.

I hated the idea of wearing a bra. I was so upset the day my mom made me go buy one. She even got me the cutest one and let me be super picky over it, and I still hated the fact that I needed one. But now I hate being bra-less in front of anyone but my family and my roommates. I even bought a super comfy wire-free bra that's supposed to be for "active lifestyle." And I wear that under my jammies if I'm at someone else's place for the night.

I think for me, the change isn't acceptance of the social norm. It's been the awareness of how much better I look when I've got them controlled and how much cleaner I feel when there isn't as much sweat build-up. If I were less well-endowed, I would probably be all for not wearing a bra. As it is, I really like owning them. I was talking to a guy who didn't understand why I was more comfortable with wire under my breasts, and I struggled to explain it. But unless I'm sitting down, I really am more physically comfortable with a bra on.

[Integrating Editor]

Vorpal, given that my breasts seriously could be on a muscular or heavy guy, yeah, I really don't get it. If the one sight is extremely stimulating, why isn't the other (for guys or girls)? In fact, a guy who's that muscular just might be extremely attractive to a lot of women. But he wouldn't need to try to hide every hint of that physique in order to be modest. There are plenty of places in the world where breasts and nipples are not seen as primarily sexual, so it's not an inherent thing that guys must be turned on by it. Also, I'm willing to take whatever answers you have. For those who wear them for comfort, support, or the look, I'm sure they're great. For me, they are an extra layer of clothing closely held to my skin, which means an increase in heat and sweat; they require embarrassing trips to stores where I usually don't fit even the smallest girls' bras; they don't change the shape of my breasts much except for nipple obscurement; and they are less comfortable than going braless, no matter what the activity, since I really dislike layers of clothing. So I dislike our society's blanket assessment that all modest, responsible women should wear them. In essence, it wastes my money without giving me anything useful in return. In fact, I frequently go without if I know the clothing I'm wearing will hide an erect nipple. Nobody has noticed yet, and my family definitely would have said something.

[The Happy Medium]

I know I'm in the minority but I can go for days without taking my bra off, even while sleeping. Unless it's a new bra, I rarely even notice that I have one on.

[Tally M.]

I know I'm in the minority but I can go for days without taking my bra off, even while sleeping. Unless it's a new bra, I rather even notice that I have one on.

Same.

[Eirene]

Vorpal, given that my breasts seriously could be on a muscular or heavy guy, yeah, I really don't get it. If the one sight is extremely stimulating, why isn't the other (for guys or girls)? In fact, a guy who's that muscular just might be extremely attractive to a lot of women. But he wouldn't need to try to hide every hint of that physique in order to be modest. There are plenty of places in the world where breasts and nipples are not seen as primarily sexual, so it's not an inherent thing that guys must be turned on by it. Also, I'm willing to take whatever answers you have. For those who wear them for comfort, support, or the look, I'm sure they're great. For me, they are an extra layer of clothing closely held to my skin, which means an increase in heat and sweat; they require embarrassing trips to stores where I usually don't fit even the smallest girls' bras; they don't change the shape of my breasts much except for nipple obscurement; and they are less comfortable than going braless, no matter what the activity, since I really dislike layers of clothing. So I dislike our society's blanket assessment that all modest, responsible women should wear them. In essence, it wastes my money without giving me anything useful in return. In fact, I frequently go without if I know the clothing I'm wearing will hide an erect nipple. Nobody has noticed yet, and my family definitely would have said something.

Bra-haters should DEFINITELY look into products like this. So much better than actual bras.

[Whistler]

so, is the purpose of bras for the small-breasted solely to hide nipples? that seems stupid.

[Imogen]

so, is the purpose of bras for the small-breasted solely to hide nipples? that seems stupid.

I had a friend who just put band-aids over her nipples so that they didn't poke through her shirt since our school was super cold.

The rule I always heard was if you can put a pencil under your breast and it stays, you should wear a bra when you're in public. Otherwise, feel free to go without.