Dropping out of school (inspired by mico)

[Imogen]

So, I started a graduate degree in Curriculum and Instruction last fall. Things were going pretty well until my stepdad was murdered. Taking care of my mom and teaching full time (in addition to running 2 extra curricular clubs) pretty much sapped my energy in the fall. Then the theater teacher that my school feeds into was forced to resign, and I had to take over his major spring commitments in addition to my own. I ended the year with a 2.0, my lowest GPA EVER. I've been barred from federal loans until I bring my grades up, but in the interim I've found a Masters that better aligns with my career goals.


So- Do I chalk this year up to experience, get out while I can, and move on?

Or-Do I attempt to salvage this year.

I'm leaning towards withdrawing because I can get this past year's loan cancelled over 5 years (which is why I never take out private loans), but then I'd feel like a quitter.

And do my grades form this past year follow me to a new program? Even if I wouldn't need any of the credits from this past year?

[Whistler]

When I dropped out of grad school it was such a relief! I felt like huge burden was lifted. Looking back though, I wish I had petitioned for a leave of absence or whatever, since because I quit I won't be able to ever finish that degree. I had finished all the coursework though, so it might feel like more of a loss than dropping out after a semester.

[Katya]

I'm leaning towards withdrawing because I can get this past year's loan cancelled over 5 years (which is why I never take out private loans), but then I'd feel like a quitter.

I firmly believe that this is a terrible reason to stay in a graduate program. I realize that we attach a lot of pride to completing things (from books to marathons), but finishing a graduate program is a huge investment in terms of time, money, and energy, which makes it all the more important not to overvalue sunk costs.

So, no matter what you choose, you will have already taken a certain number of classes and done a certain amount of work. Instead of focusing on that, then, focus on the work you still have to do to finish the program and the benefits you will gain from it, and weigh that against the other options you currently have.

And do my grades form this past year follow me to a new program? Even if I wouldn't need any of the credits from this past year?

My guess is that they follow you in the same way that undergraduate grades follow you, i.e., you'll have to put them on any future applications (and you'll want to write a short explanation about why your grades took a nose dive that year), but if the new program you're applying to doesn't use any of the credits from the old one, then I don't think your old credits will affect your GPA in your new program.

[mic0]

I'm glad I inspired you... Not many people took my poll, though. It seems like our questions are too much on the "it depends" interval scale than a binary one. Anyway, it sounds like you have a good alternative - a master's degree that is more suited to what career you want. People stop their PhD programs all the time (I think they just don't like to talk about it), and I don't think you would be a "quitter" if you were still trying to pursue whatever career you are interested in. But hey, listen to the other people before me because, after all, I don't know what I'm doing either. I will say that I already feel better knowing that I have an appointment with a career counselor for grad students - you may want to see if your university has something like that geared towards PhD students.

[Emiliana]

Imogen, considering everything you've been through in the last year I'd say that it would in no way make you a "quitter" to leave your program. I'm not necessarily saying you should, only that if you do you have nothing to feel bad about. *HUG*

[Imogen]

Thanks for the feedback, y'all. I don't really feel like I can talk to anyone about this (except my therapist), so it's good to get some positive feedback. I just hope my total lost year on this doesn't prevent me from getting into the program I want to go into. I guess we'll see what happens. I'm probably going to go fill out the withdrawal paperwork next week and then start studying for the GRE.

Why I have to take the GRE for a theatre program I will never understand.

[Whistler]

If you admissions committee does end up seeing your other grad school grades, be sure to explain your circumstances . Good luck!

[Dead Cat]

I changed my major after being in it for three and a half years and I wish I had left it sooner since it had been adding too much stress to my life. On the other hand, sometimes I regret that I didn't hold out a little longer and finish what I set out to do (not to mention that, in my case, Civil Engineering is generally considered to be more useful than English), but then I remind myself that if I had stayed, I would have likely just gotten more miserable. My roommate last year left her program a few weeks before I decided to leave mine (and was partly my inspiration for doing so). I never thought of her as weak for deciding that she didn't want to do it anymore, quite the opposite. Sometimes there is a strength in making a change instead of enduring the burden.
My advice to you is to analyze the likely outcomes in terms of how happy/sad you are likely to be if you stay or go. You have my full support, whatever you decide is best for you.

[Katya]

Sometimes there is a strength in making a change instead of enduring the burden.

Nicely put.

[Portia]

Sheesh, once I read the words "until my stepdad was murdered," I was like, "honey, the fact that you're functioning means you get all the gold stars."

My brother took some withdrawals when our mom died about 5 or 6 weeks into the semester. He's the least "quitter" person I have ever met in my life, period. Dealing with the death of a parent is one of those exceptional situations where anything you do to deal with it, you get a pass, full stop. It may have even hurt his scholarship; I'm not sure ... I do know that he had a strong Spring Semester and is living in France now and coping. You don't have to soldier through a bad situation.

I was a "quitter" and left BYU after a <1.0 semester (should have withdrawn, but this was back when the withdraw date was early and you could retake classes). I came back, finished my degree in six months, and even though there were some financial and emotional hurdles along the way, I don't dwell on what went wrong, but move forward.

Grades follow you everywhere, is my philosophy. If you stay in academia, they're on your record. This isn't to encourage or discourage you from one path, but just to accept them in whatever way you can, I suppose.

Choose whatever lets you get loans deferred or cancelled. ALWAYS. Debt is so, so, so much worse than bowing out. (In my opinion.)

Stay strong! I'm so sorry to hear about the terrible situation. :-( Talk to a counselor at your school (university) and school (where you teach). Or a mentor. Someone who knows exactly what will and won't benefit you (licensure is different from a general M.A.)