Let's discuss buying houses

[Whistler]

I still find children running around on their own (especially under the age of 10) to be really strange. It's still a bit of culture shock to me that some children don't have play dates and invite themselves over to their friends' houses without parental permission (and by culture shock I mean that seems really rude, although I've come to get used to it and have even let children over to my house with clearly defined temporal boundaries).

So, I guess I understand that your neighbors want some private outdoor space that they have some control over rather than having free-range children, and I hope you can understand them a little better.

[Dragon Lady]

Oh, they have no problems with my girls playing in their backyard. They want the fence to keep their 2-year old contained so she can play outside without mom there. And I'm fine with that. But that could be done with both of our back yards fenced in. But the dad nixed that without really ever giving a reason. (Which, admittedly, bugs me, because he's not the one home when the kids are out playing.)

[Portia]

I think it is important to realize that since the '50's in this country home ownership has been lauded. Because of this, the structures surrounding it, as well as the social status, have been built up.

Yup. Given my Europhilia, my tastes are highly different from Dragon Lady's.

It may be unsustainable in general, but where there is space, I much, much, much prefer it. For many reasons, but these are the main ones: 1) I like to have a big garden. I'm a big proponent of self-sufficiency. I hope to someday have chickens, too. 2) I get claustrophobic when houses are too close together. I grew up on a 240-acre farm where the only fences were for the cows. I'm now on a 1/5 of an acre and so far two of my four yard-touching neighbors have put up a fence. The third (and smallest shared-property line) had a chain link fence up when we first built, so at least there is some breathing space. The fourth really wants to put up a fence. Probably next year. [sigh] It's just so … closed off. And I feel like my neighbors don't have being neighborly as a priority. (I requested we fence in all of our back yards together as one big backyard, but it was nixed. Seriously? Our kids play together All The Time. Now we're going to have to ask for play dates instead of just going out back to play. [sigh] 3) I don't like to share walls/floors/ceilings. Enough said.

I like apartment-style level and deeply believe that urban density, rather than sprawl, is what is going to help society and the earth. Not being a driver, it makes no sense for me to live out in the west side 'burbs, much less a farm. I also really, really don't like the Stepford Wife-i-ness that comes with suburban subdivisions. A nice, tiny home in an established neighborhood with a high degree of walkability? Maybe I'd consider that. But the characterless McMansions one sees when riding the FrontRunner in Draper just depress me.

[NerdGirl]

Yeah, I will definitely get a real estate agent. I can't imagine trying to buy a house without one.

If my rent was $265, I would seriously consider renting forever. I think there are really good advantages to renting, including the fact that you are not the the one responsible for maintenance and property taxes, and most of the buildings I have lived in don't make you pay for utilities. But my rent is nearly $1400 (and rental prices are only getting worse here because there was a huge flood in June and lots of people are looking for temporary places while they rebuild their homes), and I could definitely get a mortgage for less than that. My other thing is that I hate moving and kind of don't want to do it anymore, so I really want to find a place that I would want to stay in for decades.

[NerdGirl]

And I hate suburbia. There is a lot of suburban sprawl here, and I would like to just buy a little house with a little yard in the neighborhood I am in now, which is an an older part of the city. But I live right between one of the universities and one of the hospitals, so it is also one of the more expensive parts of the city.