Do women rule in the home and in relationships? #74665

[S.A.M.]

When each spouse maintains a strongly held value that is incompatible with the other's value (perhaps like spanking vs not spanking) that the couple cannot resolve through respectful discussion and communication, how often does the wife's position "win out" over the husband's position? Are there differences in the ratio based on culture?

[Portia]

Can we...please stop referring to things that aren't rape as "being raped"? Just...it's really, really....not ok with me.

+1,000,000

Not an OK rhetorical strategy, Mr. Blade.

[Portia]

This thread makes me want to get gay married, instead.

[Marduk]

It is a simple concept. In NO way is rape like Obamacare. To act otherwise, or to fail to understand the basic action you are engaging in (using extreme hyperbole and calling it analogous to a situation when it clearly isn't) precludes any sort of relevant discussion. The point I'm trying to make is about mature, open, honest discussion. Unless and until people can come to the discussion using ACTUAL feelings and ideas, instead of hyperbolic ones (once you've been raped, Vorpal, then you can compare things to it) no true compromise can ever be reached. In that situation individual psychotherapy needs to occur, as the individual is clearly not ready to be able to engage in a relationship.

[Portia]

It is a simple concept. In NO way is rape like Obamacare. To act otherwise, or to fail to understand the basic action you are engaging in (using extreme hyperbole and calling it analogous to a situation when it clearly isn't) precludes any sort of relevant discussion. The point I'm trying to make is about mature, open, honest discussion. Unless and until people can come to the discussion using ACTUAL feelings and ideas, instead of hyperbolic ones (once you've been raped, Vorpal, then you can compare things to it) no true compromise can ever be reached. In that situation individual psychotherapy needs to occur, as the individual is clearly not ready to be able to engage in a relationship.

+1

(Since when do Marduk and I agree on things? Quick, someone start a literature/clothing/BYU vs. UVU thread!)

[Whistler]

Out of curiosity, Vorps, what is triggering this line of thought for you? Personal experience? Your kids' marriages? The recent (failed) feminist movement within the LDS Church?

All of the above.

Maybe this is where we should focus the discussion. It seems like Vorpal has some underlying issues. Do you feel like your wife has too much power in your home?

[Portia]

Out of curiosity, Vorps, what is triggering this line of thought for you? Personal experience? Your kids' marriages? The recent (failed) feminist movement within the LDS Church?

All of the above.

Maybe this is where we should focus the discussion. It seems like Vorpal has some underlying issues. Do you feel like your wife has too much power in your home?

Ding ding ding!

[Dragon Lady]

Trust me, nothing interests me less than how my kids eat at the table

I'm curious if this will change when you have kids. Because it's insane the things that you didn't care about before suddenly become important as a parent. For example, The color/composition of poop. Way more important to me than I ever believed possible.

[Portia]

Blech!

[NerdGirl]

Crucial Conversations = something everyone should read

And that's about all I really want to say about this thread, other than to agree with let's not refer to things other than rape as rape because that is incredibly offensive.

[Imogen]

This thread makes me want to get gay married, instead.

Me too. Mostly it makes me hope whoever I marry doesn't think trying to talk things out is me trying to take over the home.

Thank goodness Catholics are required to go to pre-Cana and engagement classes and talk all of this stuff out BEFORE you're stuck with someone for life.

[Dragon Lady]

I'm pretty sure marrying someone of the same gender would come with its own slew of "who wears the pants" problems.

[Portia]

I'm pretty sure marrying someone of the same gender would come with its own slew of "who wears the pants" problems.

Read the Atlantic article about gender roles in same-sex marriage. It's fascinating.

[Marduk]

I hope nobody makes me wear pants. So confining.

[Giovanni Schwartz]

Marduk prefers to channel his inner Scotsman by wearing a kilt, am I right?

[Dragon Lady]

Reminds me of a quote from Harry Potter 4. Ministry wizard trying to get an old wizard named Archie to change out of a long flowery nightgown into pants. "I'm not putting them on," said old Archie in indignation. "I like a healthy breeze 'round my privates, thanks."

[bobtheenchantedone]

I'm pretty sure Random and I have quoted that at Marduk several times. : )

He usually wears basketball shorts when he can get away with it, Gio, though he has also worn a tupenu on occasion.

[Portia]

Do you have any Scottish ancestry, Marduk? That would be exciting.

[Marduk]

Not a bit. The Canadian side goes from being thoroughly Canadian for a couple of centuries to being thoroughly British for as many more as anyone knows about. (And there's also zero Scottish on the Mexican side, if that needed saying.)

[Giovanni Schwartz]

Serious question guys: What would you call a Mexican Leprechaun?