Mental illness is dumber

[Violet]

You can go to your dean for back up on that one, if I remember correctly and you think it's helpful. Especially if you have documentation from the accessibility center. It's also possible to retroactively withdraw through the accessibility center.

[Zedability]

I went and talked to a petitions advisor and he was all like "well why didn't you start on all this earlier?" and I was like, I don't know, because depression makes it hard to DO things?

[Amity]

Yep, what Violet said. Get documentation from the accessibility center or disabilities resource center (whatever term BYU uses for it). That way if the professor doesn't make accommodations for you, they can get in quite a bit of hot water from the higher ups.

Source: faculty-type person here.

[Zedability]

Yeah I need to get my counselor to write a letter because the guy I talked to was like, "Well you got great grades spring term, what makes this suddenly so different? Does depression really have such a sudden onset?" And I was like, no you don't understand, suddenly going from A's to D's is evidence that something is *wrong*.

I'm mostly just really frustrated right now and need to vent. Petitions are getting started though.

[Rainbow_connection]

I'm sorry. You would think someone working there would be more educated and sensitive about this.

[Whistler]

ugh, how frustrating. I hope you can work things out with more understanding people.

[Zedability]

It's just like, if I had been motivated enough to do responsible things earlier, I would have directed that towards doing my homework and wouldn't have needed to withdraw in the first place.

[Imogen]

Yeah I need to get my counselor to write a letter because the guy I talked to was like, "Well you got great grades spring term, what makes this suddenly so different? Does depression really have such a sudden onset?" And I was like, no you don't understand, suddenly going from A's to D's is evidence that something is *wrong*.

I'm mostly just really frustrated right now and need to vent. Petitions are getting started though.

This makes me want to shake them and go, "YES DEPRESSION HAS SUCH A SUDDEN ONSET. WHY ARE YOU SO DUMB?!?!?!?!?!"

UGH! That's is so frustrating, and I'm sorry.

[Zedability]

It's like, if I had a chronic physical disease and was like, "It really flared up this summer term so I couldn't do my homework" they'd be like "Oh that makes sense" but when I'm like "major depressive episode" they're like, "well was there anything that...caused that? I mean, it kind of makes me question why it just suddenly happened..."

Yes, I'm totally making it up because I needed a convenient excuse for the REAL reason I'm failing a class for the first time in my life. (If they can find out what the "real" reason is, they should let me know so I can turn it off and keep my scholarship and get my education and stuff.)

And it's not even a sudden onset so much as "after a very long time, things finally reached the critical point where I couldn't BS school anymore."

[Portia]

LPT: At least you aren't staying up til 4 AM every night and doing pretty much nothing besides playing Bartok.

But my As to Fs semester included a faith crisis and an inadvisable long-distance relationship upgrade, so, the counseling center didn't even occur to me and I probably would have been kicked out anyway,

[TheBlackSheep]

Zed, that's VERY not okay. Those folks definitely need some help to understand what depression IS. Oh would that depression were just feeling sad. I hope that with some advocacy from the aforementioned sources things will work out. Let me know if there is anything I can do to support you. Real offer.

Portia, I think it might be helpful if we could avoid all of the "at least you're..." conversations related to mental health. I am, for once, astonished that Zedability's therapist was using these kinds of devices in therapy. I know people might think they are reassuring, but they often come off as dismissive and pain Olympics-y. Just my two cents.

Zed, also, for what it's worth: my first therapist told me there was nothing "really" wrong with me and that I'd get all fixed up in two or three sessions. I told him I couldn't get to classes and that I had been depressed for the (at that time) seven years with intermittent self-harm throughout. The right therapist can do wonders.

[Zedability]

Thanks validation is really nice.

[Zedability]

Based on past experience I would be staying up until 4 am if I were single. Living with my husband in a studio style apartment, he gets me to bed by midnight. Haha.

[Portia]

Portia, I think it might be helpful if we could avoid all of the "at least you're..." conversations related to mental health. I am, for once, astonished that Zedability's therapist was using these kinds of devices in therapy. I know people might think they are reassuring, but they often come off as dismissive and pain Olympics-y. Just my two cents.

Zed and I have talked quite a bit offline. I meant it to be encouraging, in the sense that she's taking active steps to address an unforeseen academic crisis during a depressive episode, whereas I did nothing and didn't know there was anything to be done. (I don't know that there was in my case. It's six years later, and it is what it is. Shrug.)

I'm not at all surprised by the reaction of the CCC or her professors, based on past experience, though I share her frustration and I'm glad she pushed back and her husband is in her court.

[Portia]

Zed, also, for what it's worth: my first therapist told me there was nothing "really" wrong with me and that I'd get all fixed up in two or three sessions. I told him I couldn't get to classes and that I had been depressed for the (at that time) seven years with intermittent self-harm throughout. The right therapist can do wonders.

I think there are some therapists especially, but not exclusively, in the Mormon community, who can gaslight women. (I once had that Women's Service office ask me if I was displeased my then-boyfriend couldn't "support" me, despite my worry being taking a career out of state at a promising time in a relationship and having zero intentions of dropping out of the workforce to have a family or for any other reason. Talk about missing the point!)

I'm sorry that happened to you. I'm glad whatever you're doing is better than that jerk.

[Portia]

Also if Zed DOES descend into madness her piano playing will be a lot more impressive than one folk song by Bartok over and over.

Zed, you might want to look into running away from everything and touring the world as an awesome concert pianist. (Kidding! Though you are crazy talented!)

[Zedability]

Bartok is one of my least favourites. Just sayin.

[Portia]

Bartok is one of my least favourites. Just sayin.

I don't even like him that much either! That should have been the first sign something was off. A mentally stable me would be doing Clementi.

[Zedability]

So my petitions status has been changed to "waiting for instructor comments," which is really stressful to me because my professor basically acted really dismissive and refused to provide me a statement or do anything that he thought would improve my petition status.

And now I can't focus on studying for the final for this class in case it gets denied because stress. Why is everything about mental illness a vicious feedback loop?

[TheBlackSheep]

I don't know, I'm sorry, welcome to the party, and you're not alone.