Humor will not be tolerated!! -Portia

It's 11 AM and I can't get out of bed. I called in sick. My stomach has been growling since 7 AM and I can't get up to get breakfast. What is going on.

Shit.

Cognoscente wrote:It's 11 AM and I can't get out of bed. I called in sick. My stomach has been growling since 7 AM and I can't get up to get breakfast. What is going on.

Shit.

Null hypothesis of being on your period thrown out for this population. :P

Hope you feel better soon! Maybe just a stomach bug?

Nope. Depression. Or anxiety. Or both. I don't know.

no insomnia?

Hey. I'm sorry to hear that. Depression and anxiety that make you stuck in bed are a special hell. It always breaks. I'm thinking about you.

If you had really high anxiety before, less anxiety can feel extremely depressing and weird. I recommend coffee?

Good luck.

I stopped taking my lexapro and it took my 2 weeks to realize the dizziness and weird eletrical surges i was feeling was withdrawal.

that was something.

Med withdrawal can be kinda the worst.

I got diagnosed with PTSD, so that's real. I got prescribed an antipsychotic off-label, plus two antidepressants and something for nightmares. Outside of my insurance company holding up the process of me getting one of the antidepressants and the intermittent eye twitching, it's going way better than I could have predicted.

So I typically have a significant amount of work to do on Sundays grading papers and prepping for class. There is usually a bit of anxiety involved, but in some ways having concrete tasks to do on Sunday helps me mentally ease back into the week. This weekend, for various reasons, I actually DON'T have work to do. I didn't bring a single bit of it home with me. And so I have nothing to channel my Sunday anxiety into and I'm feeling more than a little bit manic and I'm worried that it's going to collapse into a panic attack here in a little bit.

Oh, and the fact that I'm *worrying* about having a panic attack......obviously makes it that much more likely that I *will* have a panic attack.

Emiliana wrote:So I typically have a significant amount of work to do on Sundays grading papers and prepping for class. There is usually a bit of anxiety involved, but in some ways having concrete tasks to do on Sunday helps me mentally ease back into the week. This weekend, for various reasons, I actually DON'T have work to do. I didn't bring a single bit of it home with me. And so I have nothing to channel my Sunday anxiety into and I'm feeling more than a little bit manic and I'm worried that it's going to collapse into a panic attack here in a little bit.

Oh, and the fact that I'm *worrying* about having a panic attack......obviously makes it that much more likely that I *will* have a panic attack.

I also just realized that the reason I haven't taken a Xanax is because I was planning on drinking a couple of glasses of wine later. This...is backwards. Gonna go take a Xanax now, guys.

Depression sucks.

Tally M. wrote:Depression sucks.

Tally M. wrote:Depression sucks.

Yeah, it does. I'm sorry.

Tally, depression definitely definitely sucks. I'm sorry.

And Emiliana, making the right med choices is also really tricky and hard sometimes. I'm a veritable psychotropic pharmacy right now, and balancing all of that with just wanting to have some wine sometimes is weird. Anxiety is hard. All of this is hard.

PMDD was first pointed out here. I should probably try an SSRI around a week before so I can maybe not feel crazy like clockwork.

It's annoying too because for so long women were dismissed as hormonally irrational and it's, like, what about those of us who are? Ugh

Just a note: a SSRI probably won't do jack squat in a week. It's more like 6-8 weeks, even for PMDD.

I'm sorry about the PMDD. That sucks.

Portia wrote:
It's annoying too because for so long women were dismissed as hormonally irrational and it's, like, what about those of us who are? Ugh

There was a post in feminist mormon housewives a few years ago where this one woman (who was ultimately kicked out of the group because she did so much fat shaming all the time) totally denied that PMDD was a thing and said it was an invention of the patriarchy and that those of us who said we had it were basically setting women's rights back a hundred years. I definitely had a lot to say about that.

NerdGirl wrote:

Portia wrote:
It's annoying too because for so long women were dismissed as hormonally irrational and it's, like, what about those of us who are? Ugh

There was a post in feminist mormon housewives a few years ago where this one woman (who was ultimately kicked out of the group because she did so much fat shaming all the time) totally denied that PMDD was a thing and said it was an invention of the patriarchy and that those of us who said we had it were basically setting women's rights back a hundred years. I definitely had a lot to say about that.

This made me laugh, thanks

Legitimately hilarious thing that happened to me today:

The (female) crisis hotline volunteer sounded like she was worse off than me when it came to Apocalypse Election Oh Sixteen. "Things will get better!" (sounding totally unconvinced) "me: Well um good luck in the dystopia!"

Looking forward to getting outside my own head volunteering for Sundance, which starts on my 29th bday, aka the Last Normal Day.

My perfectionism is doing a better job keeping me keeping on than faux optimism. haha

I've been having a rough week or two, mental health wise, and this morning I woke up with the beginnings of a migraine. Took this new medicine I've just been prescribed. Pain is gone, but I can't tell if the dopiness and ill-ease I feel now are post-migraine symptoms or just the continuance of the shitty mood I've been in...