Thoughts:
- Half of baseball is 90 percent mental, or something. Is she more likely in the mood in the morning, right after work, or at night?
If his doing the dishes isn't sexy (I don't blame her), what is? Romantic gestures? Rousing calisthenics? Cuddling and foreplay?
Are there unaddressed negative thoughts about sexuality that a therapist or self-guided study could help with? I'd ditch the Deseret Book books which have a vested interest, here, and look for an outside perspective.
At a neutral time, discuss the issue of initiation. Would she like her husband to be more dominant in this vein? Would this make her feel desirable or more anxious?
Most controversial, I anticipate: ditch the garments. I lurk enough on TBM fora to know that while they represent many things for many people, no doubt good, "arousing" is not really one of them. Think of lingerie as occupational clothing if that helps ...
Want some of mine? I have a ton of libido all pent up doing absolutely no good to anyone just looking for an outlet. ARGH.