Humor will not be tolerated!! -Portia

Good for you!

I have a washer and dryer. In my very own garage. And the washer has a freaking ENORMOUS capacity. It kind of makes me want to sing.

I have access to wifi for the first time in a week. It's the free wifi at McDonalds, but it's better than using my phone (thank heavens for unlimited data).

In the past two days, I have:

1. gotten my official resignation letter from the Church.
2. FINALLY been recommended for hire in my local school district as a secondary math teacher.
3. been asked to do some research/writing for a project by a prominent Mormon author.
4. been called to schedule my first teaching interview.

I've also had a magnificent come apart which almost resulted in self harm but didn't. Unlucky Stuntman (who is also a shrink these days) says my brain probably just hit a patch where it wasn't in immediate crisis hold-it-together mode and took advantage. I say that sounds right for any of my clients or friends but my brain isn't allowed. Then I stopped myself and played a bunch of piano. Which reminds me...

Dear whoever arranged The Hallelujah Chorus into the classic piano accompaniment everyone uses,

If I play that many jumping octaves with my left hand in a row my forearm will literally snap off. I can feel it. Maybe you have bigger hands than I do or obnoxiously buff lower arm muscles. In any case, you're the worst.

Love,
TBS

Jumping octaves are the worst. And that happens to me too, my brain freaking out as soon as crisis mode is over.

They are, right? And yeah, my brain has been known to do that too. I'm sorry yours does! Thing is, there is still plenty to be concerned about for my brain. PLENTY. I guess it saw a bit of a lull and went for it? I haven't self-harmed in 1.5 years, which has to be some kind of record, especially given the circumstances. Yesterday almost did it for me. Brains are weird.

On an equally serious note, I decided to try a bikini wax today. How have I never before? I was expecting hellacious pain but it was no more than mild discomfort. The random hives I got a day before were worse.

And for the prudes, I wore a one-piece swimsuit every day in Puerto Rico. The razor burn was getting annoying.

So since this question pops up every few months, I'd say the girls who ask about it should go for it (wouldn't recommend going full continental -- I imagine the pain on that is a lot worse). I don't know why it's associated with some kind of decadence. (Besides the fact that it doesn't look like it will be cheap.)

Anyway, I was super glad it wasn't too painful.

More strange lists on Wikipedia: List of French Royal Mistresses.

Portia wrote:I don't know why it's associated with some kind of decadence. (Besides the fact that it doesn't look like it will be cheap)

My guess is because it involves another person getting very up close and personal with that part of your body....

Emiliana wrote:

Portia wrote:I don't know why it's associated with some kind of decadence. (Besides the fact that it doesn't look like it will be cheap)

My guess is because it involves another person getting very up close and personal with that part of your body....

I suppose. I guess that makes pap smears hedonism. ;)

Portia wrote:

Emiliana wrote:

Portia wrote:I don't know why it's associated with some kind of decadence. (Besides the fact that it doesn't look like it will be cheap)

My guess is because it involves another person getting very up close and personal with that part of your body....

I suppose. I guess that makes pap smears hedonism.

But that's a medical procedure, whereas waxing is a personal choice.

Emiliana wrote:

Portia wrote:

Emiliana wrote:My guess is because it involves another person getting very up close and personal with that part of your body....

I suppose. I guess that makes pap smears hedonism. ;)

But that's a medical procedure, whereas waxing is a personal choice.

Yes, and I think it's one that we shouldn't necessarily equate with sexual activity — as I said, the impetus for me anyway was physical comfort after wearing a swimsuit every day. There are a lot of strange hangups about women's bodies in the culture — I know we talked about the perceived slatterniness of shaving above the knee whereas I'd never thought about that one way or another.

I do think I had some residual hangups, but I'm glad that I can make a personal choice or not without so much excessive scrutiny about whether I'm then trying to lure someone into bed. I think I became sort of extra-obsessive about sex because of all the constant messages about how depraved a natural curiosity is and how that needs to be beaten back. My brother and I talked about thought repression and his girlfriend's sisters' suicide attempt, and how thought repression is not especially helpful in those situations. Something to think about in terms of modesty/sex/bodies.

And also that I'm not actively planning a wedding to increase pile o' stress that would bring. (Ugh.) Which I think is usually when the Board gets questions about hair removal.

And yes I didn't see a gyno for ten years of my adult life BECAUSE I was so uncomfortable. What if I'd had a tumor?!?

I just wish there would be a less-judgmental approach to sex and body education. When you're high-strung to begin with ...

In fact, I would not be surprised at all if I had made an appointment with a gyno while on my parents' insurance (off and on up to age 25.5) because I would have likely been immediately harangued by my mother, accusing me of being sexually active.

Yeah, something is pretty messed up with that scenario. And the sex-shaming certainly didn't keep me from wanting or eventually having sex, but it sure did instill a lot of weird subconscious notions about the basis of my worth and what healthy consent looks like (seriously I was an idiot).

This Thanksgiving I'm thankful to be on my own insurance and to be able to communicate without overwhelming fear about what's working or not. :-)

I'm certainly not trying to say that waxing SHOULD imply anything about your sex choices, much less about your morality (which in my book are largely distinct anyway). I was just kind of playing devil's advocate about why SOME people think of waxing as a bit scandalous, even though I don't have strong feelings about it one way or the other.

And I agree that sex-shaming is a really poor way of teaching us about our bodies. :-/

I just accepted a teaching gig.

The chainsaw I bought myself came in the mail today.

My life since July has been incredibly busy. I've been working 45-hour weeks, freelancing 10-20 hours a week, and I'm a full time grad student (plus I have a one-year-old). Today I finally feel like there's a light at the end of the tunnel. I finished my last class except for my capstone! The goal is to change careers to the field I've been studying and freelancing in, and I feel like I'm finally making a real step toward that goal.

glad that your crazy busy-ness is temporary!

Rainbow_connection, I'm glad you can see the light at the end of the tunnel! That's such a great feeling.

Since I moved to Vegas because of the terrible relationship/breakup I was experiencing, I have been writing open letters to my ex-boyfriend on a blog. Today I finally sat down to address the gaslighting that happened in our relationship, and I did it! I felt like it was even fairly understandable, which is way more than I expected when I started writing. Then I checked the word count. More than 6,000 words. Oof, no wonder I feel better. Good job, me.

Sent my transcripts to my three graduate school programs. Saw a REALLY cool housing opportunity if I stay here in SLC that could make my program a lot more interdisciplinary.

I might have to subsidize any aid I get with loans (yikes) but I'd be 30 by the time I finished, and I just feel like I manage money about 10000 times better than in my early twenties. So really, not going right out of school, either time, ended up being a blessing in disguise.

I also don't feel like my life will be over if I don't get in, which is probably a good precondition for any such major life change. :-)

Still unreasonably nervous about finalizing the reference request but a meeting with my boss today showed me that I am wayyyyy more nervous about what people think of me than vice versa. LOL