Humor will not be tolerated!! -Portia

The Board is pretty darn measured on LGBT issues compared to what you'd hear over the pulpit every single week.

Hey, Arcaiden, sorry about policing your words. I'm not a mod and I shouldn't pretend to be. Your viewpoint is valuable to me and I hope that you keep participating here.

Sort of related, here's an article where (towards the bottom) it stresses how important it is for LGBT youth in the church to be accepted by their families: http://www.wheatandtares.org/18582/an-i ... tch-mayne/

Let me just say to begin with that I think everyone here is a nice person. I had really hoped to make friends with you all. I went away for a few years, but came back hoping I could start again and be extra nice to everyone, being careful not to offend anyone. I was rejected.

This forum was just too unfriendly and not welcoming to me, so I stopped visiting. This week, several months later, I decided to see if things were getting better. It appears they are getting worse. I see from this thread that it isn't just me that feels that way. And some of you don't seem to be able to even see the problem.

I agree with all that Craig Jessop and Zedability wrote. There are many things I could add. Here are a few things:

Telling people that they are rude, condescending, or bullying just because you disagree with what they are saying is unfriendly and not welcoming. Now, some people might be rude, condescending, and bullying and perhaps you ought to find a nice way to let them know. However, when only those who agree with you on the issue agree with you that the other person has a behavior problem, you probably are just shooting the messenger because you don't like the message.

Ignoring people until they go away is unfriendly and not welcoming. Worse yet, telling everyone that you don't even bother to read their posts because you've already made up your mind that you will never agree with their point of view is the height of unfriendliness.

Not all of you have been unfriendly and unwelcoming to those with a contrary point of view. However, how many of you have dared or even wanted to go against the group and have criticized someone who was proud of giving others the cold shoulder or refusing to read their posts? The impression is given that the group is okay with driving you out. If you don't toe the ideological line of the group, you don't have a friend here. They may not come out and say you are not welcome, but that is the message given.

Some of you seem to be harboring grudges many years old. For the record, I wish you (Black Sheep) had said something earlier about Gay Blade. What he said was aimed at bringing out what gay people in the news were saying. It wasn't aimed at any individual in this group. I've always liked you, Black Sheep, and I would not want to hurt you.

So, I hope you take this as constructive criticism from one who was, and expects to remain, driven away by an unfriendly atmosphere.

Hi Vorpal,

For the record, I did say I had a problem with it on the thread in question, I believe. That doesn't mean it wasn't an incredibly hard thread for me, however, or that I don't still have feelings about it. I felt attacked by Gay Blade, and I felt that Gay Blade was making a mockery out of a serious political issue at a time when I was coming to terms with my own sexual identity, which was a very painful and scary process. I think I can still have feelings about it years later, especially when I expressed concerns and that did not stop the character in question from continuing with his (by my perception) sarcastic, attacking, nonrepresentative comments.

@Vorpy

Sock puppetry and strawmen aside (because that's a dishonorable way to make one's point, I think), I'm sorry I leveled so much vitriol at you back in the day for arguments you made in good faith. Dialog works best when there's mutual respect, and I feel like I didn't do my part to foster an environment to let that grow. I still feel passionately (even more so now) about politics and ethics and the need for empathy, but if I had to go back in time 5 years, I'd have used less inflammatory rhetoric.

Black Sheep. Thank you for your clarification.

Cognoscente. Thank you for your comments. I also could have done better to show more respect for people who have different opinions. Also, I've come to realize that I am too combative and confrontational. I apologize for all I did to foster a toxic environment. It sounds like you have learned a few lessons. I'm still learning them.