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Re: BQ 83402 YSA - privileged position or persecuted posteri

Posted: Mon Aug 10, 2015 12:42 pm
by NovemberEast
Shrinky Dink wrote:If you have custody of your child, than your child needs to be in a family ward and you need to attend the family ward as well. This was emphasized more heavily in one of the 30-45 YSA wards in salt lake that I visited once. It also had about 600 members, 6 relief societies and priesthood meetings, and 3 sacrament tables. They made the child announcement each week because they would have a lot of new members and you never knew when someone was divorced and would have their kid for the weekend.
I wish that had happened in my (18-30) ysa ward. We had this guy (about 23) who was divorced with a kid and he'd bring his child on Sundays.

One time in sunday school he had his toddler in one hand and a nearly empty gallon milk jug. No toys or quiet books, just the milk jug. I'm not sure if it was actual cows milk or formula or what. It was just kind of strange and his kid was drinking out of it. That was also the day he asked out one of my friends (baby and milk jug in hand).

I try to give people a break, but it was super big time i don't even know.

Re: BQ 83402 YSA - privileged position or persecuted posteri

Posted: Mon Aug 10, 2015 1:04 pm
by Portia
Doesn't surprise me that women like this one feel alienated in Relief Society, then.

Dating as a parent does not sound fun in any way. I felt very bad for the child of one of my boyfriend's friends from high school. He married a woman (after a week-max courtship; I'm not exaggerating) with what was a clear-cut case of mental illness going on, and there are still some custody disputes there. His second wife seemed to really act like a princess in terms of having her Perfect Priesthood Holder wedding and family, and I think that his oldest daughter is absolutely getting the short end of the stick, here.

Of course, some stories of blended families end up much more happily (my dad never played favorites, which is awesome!), but maybe the LDS Church could offer better support for these situations which aren't at all uncommon. Any ideas?

Re: BQ 83402 YSA - privileged position or persecuted posteri

Posted: Mon Aug 10, 2015 1:59 pm
by Shrinky Dink
I feel that YSA wards have a very specific purpose and audience. Small children are not that audience and they need to attend a family ward with a nursery or primary if at all possible. Yes, dating with kids is hard, but if you are in custody of your child, even if it's just a weekend, your priority should be your child's well being not whether or not you'll get to sit next to the cute girl in your YSA sunday school class.

Re: BQ 83402 YSA - privileged position or persecuted posteri

Posted: Mon Aug 10, 2015 3:55 pm
by Portia
I agree, and (especially as someone who never wants kids), I think lessons about motherhood for people who are by definition, not mothers, is alienating at worst and mostly irrelevant at best.

It's hard to please everyone, though, because obviously I didn't mind being treated as the young, carefree person I was, whereas other women on this board find that infantilizing.