86865 - Coming out to a homophobic roommate
Posted: Wed Jun 15, 2016 5:20 pm
https://theboard.byu.edu/questions/86865/
My advice, if you read this, is to not come out until you can be absolutely sure of your safety. Maybe even don't do it until you no longer live together. You deserve to live authentically, to be yourself, and to date as you see fit. However, please make sure you have a network of people you can trust to support you in case things go south.
Uh, I don't know if I'd go that far.he is really homophobic and constantly saying negative things about gay people and when he is upset often drops gay slurs. One time he told me that being gay is only a step below being a murderer as far as sins go.
Suffice to say, he is a great guy but
...coming out to him is terrifying to think about.
I don't freaking blame you for being scared. He clearly has hostility to gay people. Coming out to an avowed homophobe is gonna be problematic, if not dangerous. You're going to be drawing a big target on yourself. Depending on how closely he holds his homophobia, this may destroy your friendship. I'm surprised Dr. Ock didn't mention the risk of... well, physical or emotional harm. In 2016 it's safer and more welcoming than it's ever been to be yourself, but that doesn't mean it's no longer dangerous to be gay... as we are reminded by the news on a regular basis.The biggest problem is, at this point in his life, I'm not sure he's ready or could even accept the fact that I'm gay.
My advice, if you read this, is to not come out until you can be absolutely sure of your safety. Maybe even don't do it until you no longer live together. You deserve to live authentically, to be yourself, and to date as you see fit. However, please make sure you have a network of people you can trust to support you in case things go south.