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Sexting in the bonds of holy matrimony

Posted: Tue Feb 14, 2017 3:42 pm
by Cognoscente
http://theboard.byu.edu/questions/88949/

You know how I know this question-asker isn't married?

Re: Sexting in the bonds of holy matrimony

Posted: Tue Feb 14, 2017 5:34 pm
by Zedability
They asked this question?

Re: Sexting in the bonds of holy matrimony

Posted: Tue Feb 14, 2017 6:20 pm
by Portia
Zedability wrote:They asked this question?
Hahaha

Re: Sexting in the bonds of holy matrimony

Posted: Tue Feb 14, 2017 10:32 pm
by TheBlackSheep
I just... why does this matter? Why do you have to know whether it's okay? They aren't hurting anyone. Just let it be. This kind of thing confuses me.

Re: Sexting in the bonds of holy matrimony

Posted: Tue Feb 14, 2017 11:55 pm
by Marduk
TheBlackSheep wrote:I just... why does this matter? Why do you have to know whether it's okay? They aren't hurting anyone. Just let it be. This kind of thing confuses me.
BECAUSE WHAT IF HIS WIFE IS ACCIDENTALLY PORNOGRAPHY

Re: Sexting in the bonds of holy matrimony

Posted: Wed Feb 15, 2017 9:01 am
by NovemberEast
I'm more bothered by the idea of asking friends to take your nude photos.

"Hey Amanda, take my picture."

*takes of clothes* *poses*

"Amanda? where'd you....go?"

Re: Sexting in the bonds of holy matrimony

Posted: Wed Feb 15, 2017 11:34 am
by Portia
NovemberEast wrote:I'm more bothered by the idea of asking friends to take your nude photos.

"Hey Amanda, take my picture."

*takes of clothes* *poses*

"Amanda? where'd you....go?"
I'm less "bothered" and more "intrigued" ... what if Amanda is bi? Rule 34 kids

Re: Sexting in the bonds of holy matrimony

Posted: Wed Feb 15, 2017 11:45 am
by Zedability
I think it's possible that she was just doing boudoir shots in her undies and the person is calling them nude shots in the same way that a lot of Mormons call anyone who has more than a glass of wine a month an alcoholic.

Re: Sexting in the bonds of holy matrimony

Posted: Wed Feb 15, 2017 12:21 pm
by Cognoscente
Zedability wrote:They asked this question?
Bingo.
Zedability wrote:I think it's possible that she was just doing boudoir shots in her undies and the person is calling them nude shots in the same way that a lot of Mormons call anyone who has more than a glass of wine a month an alcoholic.
hahaha. Yep. Or R-rated movies are pornography. Or going to the beach is pornography. As for me, I tend to agree with Brandi.

Or maybe the person has a sensibility less steeped in puritan morality and shame. Plenty of people out there are perfectly comfortable with nudity and don't have a prurient agenda. I visited a clothing-optional beach for the first time a while back and it was shockingly un-erotic. This submitter should look into one of those.

Re: Sexting in the bonds of holy matrimony

Posted: Wed Feb 15, 2017 3:04 pm
by NovemberEast
Zedability wrote:I think it's possible that she was just doing boudoir shots in her undies and the person is calling them nude shots in the same way that a lot of Mormons call anyone who has more than a glass of wine a month an alcoholic.
HAHA!

That would make a lot more sense. And I could see it as even less awkward if the friend already did that as part of their photography business. My husband and I have discussed this type of photography and we both decided that our issue boiled down to the chance that if we suddenly died in a fiery crash and someone (possibly a future child) found the photos going through our belongings...well it would be weird and possibly require a lot of therapy. Of course, we wouldn't be around to be embarrassed, but no thanks. For those that aren't as "worst case scenario" as us and possibly more adept at photo security measures, I figure it's fine.

Re: Sexting in the bonds of holy matrimony

Posted: Wed Feb 15, 2017 4:16 pm
by Portia
Okay, sorry, maybe I'm a prude, but if a female married friend was like heyyyyyy will you snap a boobies shot for my hubby I'd be like honey, you're drunk, that's what the self-facing camera is for

Re: Sexting in the bonds of holy matrimony

Posted: Wed Feb 15, 2017 4:17 pm
by Portia
And as I was discussing very erotically with Zed, my anxiety is sooooo far off the charts that sexting is pretty much a no (of course I find fully clothed headshots of preppie engineers deeply arousing so, TED talks are pretty much pornographic for me)

Re: Sexting in the bonds of holy matrimony

Posted: Wed Feb 15, 2017 4:26 pm
by Portia
Also, I have to (rarely) disagree with Zed here, introducing the Spirit/Jesus/any third party into one's erotic/committed relationship now strikes me as just really ... odd, I guess ... I know that in my youth it felt like a freaky threeway, haha, and seems like an introduction of yet another male gaze, which I guess if that's your thing, but yeah

Re: Sexting in the bonds of holy matrimony

Posted: Wed Feb 15, 2017 6:47 pm
by Amity
Cognoscente wrote:You know how I know this question-asker isn't married?
Because her euphemism for nudity is "nakey"?

Re: Sexting in the bonds of holy matrimony

Posted: Wed Feb 15, 2017 7:13 pm
by Zedability
And as I was discussing very erotically with Zed
Are we not doing phrasing anymore?

And yeah, I definitely think that the Mormon idea that you need to be actively feeling the Spirit during sex is...super weird, frankly. I think it would definitely kill the mood to constantly be like, AM I STILL FEELING THE SPIRIT. I guess what I meant was, if you feel like something is actively "driving the Spirit away," which basically means "making one of the people feel sad or uncomfortable," don't do it. Which is a pretty common-sense standard, whether you believe that feeling is due to the Spirit or just due to individual preferences and comfort zones.

And, when you believe in prayer and that God has opinions on what kind of sex are okay, it makes sense to me that you could pray and ask God "is this particular kind of sex okay?" Just not, like, in the middle of foreplay. Haha.

Re: Sexting in the bonds of holy matrimony

Posted: Wed Feb 15, 2017 10:23 pm
by TheBlackSheep
Marduk wrote:BECAUSE WHAT IF HIS WIFE IS ACCIDENTALLY PORNOGRAPHY
Uggghhhhhh raaaaaaaaage. You and your ways with pushing my rage buttons.
NovemberEast wrote:I'm more bothered by the idea of asking friends to take your nude photos.
Okay, sure, there is no way in hell I would ask a friend to do this for me, and it's not exactly an everyday request, but why do we need to ask a bunch of strangers whether it is moral or not? I just, ugh. It's just somebody's (really pretty fantastically innocent) sex life, buddy. Everybody has one (hopefully, eventually).
Zedability wrote:I think it's possible that she was just doing boudoir shots in her undies and the person is calling them nude shots in the same way that a lot of Mormons call anyone who has more than a glass of wine a month an alcoholic.
Yes, this was my takeaway as well.
NovemberEast wrote:My husband and I have discussed this type of photography and we both decided that our issue boiled down to the chance that if we suddenly died in a fiery crash and someone (possibly a future child) found the photos going through our belongings...well it would be weird and possibly require a lot of therapy.
Dear merciful heavens, what kind of boudoir shots were you thinking of taking? I mean, I wouldn't want anybody coming across boudoir shots of me necessarily (though hey, I guess that depends on the picture, cause there's one I took once that if someone found it I'd just be all, yeah, I look good, but I am decidedly clothed in that picture) but sex happens, y'all. Weird, maaaaaaaybe, but that's gotta be the extent of that.
Amity wrote:
Cognoscente wrote:You know how I know this question-asker isn't married?
Because her euphemism for nudity is "nakey"?
Yeah, there's that.

Re: Sexting in the bonds of holy matrimony

Posted: Wed Feb 15, 2017 11:33 pm
by TheBlackSheep
Portia wrote:I'm less "bothered" and more "intrigued" ... what if Amanda is bi? Rule 34 kids
First of all, this is the most tame citing of rule 34 ever. Second of all, I'm pretty sure rule 34 is primarily meant for weird stuff, and being queer and finding yourself in fortuitous situations is a really common occurrence in life and theme in porn, so. More like, "Amanda and lots of queer people's common fantasy."

Also: Amanda, get out of the closet. Kisses, TBS

Re: Sexting in the bonds of holy matrimony

Posted: Thu Feb 16, 2017 2:36 am
by Portia
TheBlackSheep wrote:
Portia wrote:I'm less "bothered" and more "intrigued" ... what if Amanda is bi? Rule 34 kids
First of all, this is the most tame citing of rule 34 ever. Second of all, I'm pretty sure rule 34 is primarily meant for weird stuff, and being queer and finding yourself in fortuitous situations is a really common occurrence in life and theme in porn, so. More like, "Amanda and lots of queer people's common fantasy."

Also: Amanda, get out of the closet. Kisses, TBS
Haha OKCupid tells me I'm significantly less suave yet more sex-driven than the average gal so "the most tame citing of rule 34" sounds like me haha

Re: Sexting in the bonds of holy matrimony

Posted: Thu Feb 16, 2017 2:38 am
by Portia
Amity wrote:
Cognoscente wrote:You know how I know this question-asker isn't married?
Because her euphemism for nudity is "nakey"?
I think everyone is giving young marrieds of Provo way too much credit in this thread. Haha.

Also can the HCO investigate you for being an accessory to texting? How bad are things down south?

Re: Sexting in the bonds of holy matrimony

Posted: Thu Feb 16, 2017 2:40 am
by Portia
Zedability wrote:
And as I was discussing very erotically with Zed
Are we not doing phrasing anymore?

And yeah, I definitely think that the Mormon idea that you need to be actively feeling the Spirit during sex is...super weird, frankly. I think it would definitely kill the mood to constantly be like, AM I STILL FEELING THE SPIRIT. I guess what I meant was, if you feel like something is actively "driving the Spirit away," which basically means "making one of the people feel sad or uncomfortable," don't do it. Which is a pretty common-sense standard, whether you believe that feeling is due to the Spirit or just due to individual preferences and comfort zones.

And, when you believe in prayer and that God has opinions on what kind of sex are okay, it makes sense to me that you could pray and ask God "is this particular kind of sex okay?" Just not, like, in the middle of foreplay. Haha.
TIL that in the Fifty Shades sequel, the faux-sadist billionaire favors the missionary position with his pants on ... so this wasn't even the most awkward sex thing of the day I read. :P