Humor will not be tolerated!! -Portia

Whistler wrote:I had a roommate like that. I ended up cleaning her dishes a lot, and when I left on vacation she used plastic and paper dishes (somehow that irritated me more?).

I hope this isn't me.

The chainsaw I bought myself came in the mail today.

My sister once left a hot dog sitting on the stove in its old hot dog water for too long, so her roommates put it out on the balcony, still in the pot, with a sign that said "Maranda's old hot dog." And then it became a funny thing they all did, trying to publicly shame each other, and it ...

I get the mail, throw away all the junk mail, and then we have a shelf where we each have a wire letter tray like this one , so his stuff goes in his and mine goes in mine. Although he never checks his so I usually just open everything and then tell him if there's something he should pay attention t...

What about these cross pendants? https://www.etsy.com/listing/243371519/5-rhinestone-cross-charm-pendants-bail?ref=market I have to admit, I'm curious as to why it matters what the bracelet looks like. I know you said it's a plot point, but how close of a replica does it really need to be? Is the nu...

Optimistic. had a roommate at BYU who would not-so-subtly hint that he had a gun. Basically he creeped everyone in the apartment out but they couldn't confront him because, well, he had a gun. So they stuck it out until they could move away without being confrontational about it.

I totally have a second wife picked out for my husband. I've made it very clear that if I should unexpectedly die he's to wait a "respectful" amount of time (a year or so) and then go and woo the crap out of this woman.

ZOMG. My sister just called to tell me that Joann's is selling Beary Merry Christmas advent calendars. They've been out of print for years and are hard to find, so they've been selling for hundreds of dollars online because everyone who grew up with one now wants one of their own. And they're finall...

That flowchart is making me twitchy. If someone does not like guitar music, do they exit the flowchart? I was born in the '80s, but implying I'd know an alt rock album that came out when I was 7 is silly. In 1995, I was listening to Disney soundtracks and classical and KidzBop or something. If noth...

Our new Roomba came and it is awesome. It is sucking craploads of dust out of the carpet and making my allergies better.

I just found out that the ward we combine with for cub scouts has a separate cub scout budget that is more than my entire Primary budget and it makes me want to kick things.

A friend of mine started teaching high school this year, and she was told to not teach anything crucially important for the first few weeks, because we live in a rural area and a bunch of kids just won't show up until after Labor Day. It felt straight out of To Kill A Mockingbird . That said, I alwa...

Our new fridge is being delivered today. Our current fridge is older than I am.

I cleaned up my roommates' crap in the kitchen and living room for an HOUR. I get home, nobody says thank you or anything and then they have a bunch of people and cook a ton of food without cleaning it up. I am so done. I gotta say, if a roommate cleaned up my stuff, I'd actually be pretty annoyed ...

My brother-in-law was the scribe when we opened our wedding presents, writing down who gave us what. Only it turned out he has terrible handwriting, and we couldn't make heads or tails of his notes. We did our best to send out thank you cards, but we eventually just had to give up.

Serious question: will Pinewood Derby still happen if the LDS Church pulls out of the Boy Scouts? Probably not. If boys want to do Cub Scouts they'll have to join a school group. I'm glad you brought that up. I should really wait for a decision from the Church before I try to overthrow the renting ...

I'm definitely going to extend an invitation to the Activity Day girls to participate next year.

I'm not 100% sure of the cost since we combine with another ward for cub scouts and they split up the reimbursements between us, but this year our ward paid around $140. Everyone else seems to agree it's a good deal since the guy who owns the track comes and sets it up and calls the races and I thin...

How do wards buy pinewood derby tracks? I asked my bishop and he was as stumped as I am. Our ward currently rents one when the time comes, but it takes such a bite out of my primary budget I'd like to just buy a nice one and have it pay for itself in ten years in the interest of being thrifty. I can...

You'll regret that the next time she needs to bundle up some sticks.