Twilight Rant

Humble Master · Post by **Humble Master** » Sun Jun 29, 2008 7:37 pm

Angelina Jolie's lips frighten me. I sometimes fear they are capable of moving independent of her facial muscles.

Fredjikrang · Post by **Fredjikrang** » Sun Jun 29, 2008 8:54 pm

Yeah, she's got a bit too much lip for me as well.

Wisteria · Post by **Wisteria** » Mon Jun 30, 2008 11:21 am

Fred and Humble Master: If either of you ever accidentally come face-to-face with Angelina Jolie in a dark alleyway late at night, would you please greet her with the warning "none of your lip!"
That would be awesome.

Nanti-SARRMM · Post by **Nanti-SARRMM** » Mon Jun 30, 2008 4:50 pm

Humble Master wrote:Angelina Jolie's lips frighten me. I sometimes fear they are capable of moving independent of her facial muscles.

There is a secret research project in fact in support of that theory. That Angelina's lips, through the radiation of Hollywood magic, and over exposure to Brad Pitt, are also capable of independant thought and are registered as lethal weapons for having once killed a young man by sucking all the air of his lungs.

No one dares publicize it for fear of retribution.

Tao · Post by **Tao** » Wed Jul 02, 2008 1:39 pm

Wisteria wrote:Fred and Humble Master: If either of you ever accidentally come face-to-face with Angelina Jolie in a dark alleyway late at night, would you please greet her with the warning "none of your lip!"
That would be awesome.

While it wasn't in a dark alleyway late at night, I came face-to-face with her while street contacting on my mission. She was nice took the card and wished me a good day. I didn't even realize anything out of the ordinary until I noticed my companion standing there stunned with a vague look of awe hovering somewhere about his face. As for me, I thought she looked familiar, but I had to be reminded of the Lara Croft movie before I remembered who she was.

meh.

As for Twilight, I feel much the same. Physical appearance, fantasy escapes, and unreal infatuations are all so transitory as to be insignificant in my opinion. If the fantasy lingers and hampers growth, then it has had a negative impact. If self respect is reinforced and chivalry better understood, then it has had a positive impact. To each person the effect and the depth thereof is a unique and distinct thing. For me personally, I saw little in the Twilight series that offered me growth, but little that would be detracting, therefore: meh.

Post by **bobtheenchantedone** » Wed Jul 02, 2008 9:23 pm

I totally have a Twilight rant. Sort of.

Portia · Post by **Portia** » Wed Jul 16, 2008 5:25 pm

This is the guy all these girls are drooling over? Since when does unnatural pallor and lifeless eyes=hot?

Post by **bobtheenchantedone** » Wed Jul 16, 2008 5:36 pm

Portia wrote:This is the guy all these girls are drooling over? Since when does unnatural pallor and lifeless eyes=hot?

We don't know, my friend. We don't know.

Azriel · Post by **Azriel** » Wed Jul 16, 2008 11:11 pm

Humble Master wrote:Apparently Christopher from Magna could demonstrate the same level of restraint the readers of this forum have. I understand this fairly ridiculous letter was published in the Daily Universe today:

Twilight is Pornography

The "Twilight" novels are pornography. Thought pornography is seen as a male problem, explicit pictures and romance novels create a quick and fabricated experience of a romantic relationship. For men, pornography creates unrealistic expectations for their girlfriends'/wives' bodies. For women, it creates unrealistic romantic expectations for their boyfriends'/husbands' actions.

Christopher West, Magna

I forget what day this was printed in the DU, but it was shortly after Christopher's letter:

Pornography or fiction?

My husband's not a vampire and our relationship is constantly strained because of his lack of effort. Every day has been a struggle since I recently learned of my pornography problem from the June 26 letter, "'Twilight' is pornography."

Thanks to recent letters to the editor in The Daily Universe explaining that anything that creates a false expectation of love or the world around us as pornography, I have finally come to terms with the fact that I have a problem.

I am a world class pornography peddler, loaning out my "Twilight" series often. I started young with my mom introducing such pornographic material as Disney's "Cinderella" and "Sleeping Beauty" (thankfully though, my husband can slay dragons.) As a teen my addiction grew to include films like Disney's "Hercules' (my husband, unfortunately for my expectations, is not part-god, although he does have potential).

Every day is a struggle for us thanks to my mother's bad example. However, I will be sure to omit any of the previously mentioned "pornographic" films from my daughters' education so as to avoid creating false expectations of the world around them. Then again, I might just teach them the meaning of the word "fiction."

-Paige Jones, Salem OR

For which I think she has a good point. I don't care if you like the books or not, that's all your prerogative. But, seriously, do we really need to go bashing on people that do?

Nanti-SARRMM · Post by **Nanti-SARRMM** » Sun Jul 20, 2008 6:02 pm

Portia wrote:This is the guy all these girls are drooling over? Since when does unnatural pallor and lifeless eyes=hot?

Perhaps because the the most important detail was forgotten.

Post by **bobtheenchantedone** » Sun Jul 20, 2008 9:37 pm

Nanti-SARRMM wrote:
Portia wrote:This is the guy all these girls are drooling over? Since when does unnatural pallor and lifeless eyes=hot?
Perhaps because the the most important detail was forgotten.

Absolutely marvelous.

xkcd *** · Post by xkcd *** » Sun Jul 20, 2008 10:10 pm

And you're at the top again bob.

Post by **bobtheenchantedone** » Mon Jul 21, 2008 5:20 pm

xkcd *** wrote:And you're at the top again bob.

I win. I win. I'm cool. I'm awesome.

And it's funny that I didn't notice that myself...

Humble Master · Post by **Humble Master** » Tue Jul 29, 2008 1:21 pm

Predictions of chapter outlines for the next novel in the series from the previously cited blog can be read here (line that made me laugh: "Being as coordinated as a newborn giraffe, Bella loses her balance and falls, fracturing her ankle.").

Portia · Post by **Portia** » Tue Jul 29, 2008 3:33 pm

Humble Master wrote:Predictions of chapter outlines for the next novel in the series from the previously cited blog can be read here (line that made me laugh: "Being as coordinated as a newborn giraffe, Bella loses her balance and falls, fracturing her ankle.").

Hey, fangirls, how old are they supposed to be in this one? (EDIT: from the blog, 18, I guess?)

Portia · Post by **Portia** » Tue Jul 29, 2008 3:38 pm

Bella yells, â€œStop regurgitating Sean Hannityâ€™s talking points to me! How in the world could you support McCain, anyway? Heâ€™s just a third term for Bush!â€ Edward then tells Bella that he used to go to summer camp with McCain in the 1910â€™s and considers him a personal friend.

hahaha. I bet the books don't remind us of not only Edward's sexiness, but also his geezerness, too often.