Question #52066 and 52165- Acquiring a personal firearm

[luxurious]

I could kiss Pa Grape right now (though I doubt Ma Grape or my husband would be particularly pleased). I agree with him regarding the dismissive nature of some of the responses that reader received, even though I am a card-carrying, liberal-minded, expansive-gun-law enthusiast. I have been disappointed in some answers in the recent past, and I never thought a question regarding someone being serious and responsible about making a huge, life altering decision would be met with so much holier-than-thou flippancy. I thought that one of attitude was reserved for yellow pages questions and recent requests for dating applications.

[Laser Jock]

I have been disappointed in some answers in the recent past, and I never thought a question regarding someone being serious and responsible about making a huge, life altering decision would be met with so much holier-than-thou flippancy.

I can see the flippancy in a couple of the answers, and I agree that perhaps it wasn't warranted this time. I apologize for my part in that. I'm curious, though: where do you get the "holier-than-thou" feeling? Writers gave their suggestions, exactly as asked, but with no recourse to religious or moral superiority that I noticed.

I think that most of the answers were sincere, non-flippant, and simply disagreed with the stance that the questioner had and that Pa Grape ended up taking. Saying "Um, this might not be the best way to protect yourself" seems valid to me. Plenty of knowledgeable people have the same philosophy about (not) carrying a gun. And we did have at least one answer that was just as well-credentialed as Pa Grape's, namely The Sentry's. I daresay he has at least as much experience with firearms as Pa Grape (perhaps more, actually; I know him). And yet, he feels differently about carrying a firearm for protection.

Thank you, by the way, for being clear and polite in your criticism. I appreciate that. And if you feel like pointing out what other answers in the recent past have disappointed you, either here (or on another thread) or via e-mail, I'd love to hear those too. (PM me if you'd like my e-mail, or it's in the "About Us" -> "Current Writers" section on the Board.)

[Whistler]

I'm glad Pa Grape commented, but in defense of the writers, the way this question is worded makes it hard to tell if the girl wanted a serious answer or not. The idea of: "I'm a single girl and I don't know anything about guns, except that I want to buy one," strikes me as a hasty decision, one which habiba and LJ pointed out. How questions are worded does affect the answers we give. There, I'm done defending my fellow writers.

edit: it looks like LJ and I posted at the same time! I agree with him here (although... Pa Grape also has considerable gun experience).

[NerdGirl]

I actually quite liked the original answer to the question. I've been a single girl living on my own for 4 years now, and I've found that living in buildings with security, not coming home late at night by myself, and basic common sense have gone a long way in keeping me safe. I've never even considered owning a gun. My brother is in the military, and he has quite a bit of experience with firearms both as part of his job and recreationally. But he keeps his guns locked in his basement and sees absolutely no reason to carry a gun for self-defense (except, obviously, in combat situations or as part of his job). I certainly don't have a problem with responsible gun ownership, but I do agree with the writers that if the questioner was serious, she needed a whole lot more education before making the decision to buy a gun for protection.

[Tao]

I was a little bothered by Pa Grape's comment, and from his tone lost some respect for the man. For someone so ostensibly knowledgeable about firearms, he was rather dismissive of one of the first laws of personal safety: the greatest danger of gun ownership is ignorance. For someone to step us and ask: "I am ignorant and want a gun, any suggestions?" Should be suggested to learn more or pursue other options, not given a list of firearm retail outlets. Once they have learned and have checked out the various facets of home and self defense, should they choose to pursue purchasing a firearm, I'll be right there beside them.

I am not anti-gun, by any stretch of the imagination. Growing up I slept with more firepower surrounding me than most non-military personnel have access to. Much of it was fluff and bluff, which is why I am very glad I was never called upon to use it. Odds are I would have died. The big question with anything that grants lethal power is the readiness of the wielder to kill. Guns aren't for bluffing. I have much the same contempt for those who choose to buy a gun for 'protection' and then keep the ammunition locked in another room for safety. What they have bought in an altercation is at best an awkward club, and at worst a six foot plot in the nearby potter's field. Even on my mission we had Elders carrying pocket knives as 'self defense' which got under my skin somewhat. I am rather thankful that to my knowledge none of those missionaries were involved in any altercations. You don't pack what you aren't willing to use, and you don't use a lethal weapon without being ready to kill with it and live (or not, as the case may be) with the consequences.

Not a decision to be made while not knowing anything about what you are doing.

[wired]

For what it is worth, after I read all of the comments I felt similar to Pa Grape - the writer's did little to actually tell the reader how to make herself knowledgeable. What I perceived as a question of, "I want a gun, but don't know anything. Can you help me?" was answered primarily by, "If you don't know anything, don't get a gun!" While that is a valid response, I think a better response would have been, "Here are the resources you can go to become proficient with a firearm. Don't get one until you do!" Still, it's the reader's question and the writers' answers.

I actually started writing a response (which did not mention that I disagreed with the writers' methods of response), but I noticed that the Sentry had an open invitation for the reader to contact him/her about the issue for more information. I figured this would be sufficient to help her find valuable resources if she really wanted to know more.

[The Sentry]

These are all good points. My response was a knee-jerk reaction and I left a sizable portion of my original answer out, the part that talked about going to gun shops, specifically Gunnies in Orem (I love that place) and asking people there about gun safety classes. I will admit I should have checked more closely to make sure that I put that in the answer, but I offered twice for her to contact me. Perhaps I should have used more tact, but I wanted to make it clear that I meant everything I said.

I think it was a good answer because contacting me would have eliminated all the vagaries in answering a question like that on an anonymous forum. I don't know her situation, I don't know where she lives, I don't know her experience in anything other than her words

I don't know anything about guns. Any suggestions, or is there anywhere you can direct me to find more information?

I don't think that I could have told her in good conscience "Well, you should get this and this gun" because if something had happened because she had a gun and it came back to me, I would never be able to forgive myself. I gave her a suggestion, not to buy a gun and instead invest in personal safety classes, and I directed her to ask me for more information. What more could she have asked for?

The way to get knowledgeable is to talk to knowledgeable people, and I feel that I am one of those knowledgeable people. I felt that personal communication would be more valuable than a blanket answer on the board, and it would have been a sight better than putting the names and numbers of my friends who teach hunter safety and gun handling classes, onto the internet.

Bang Bang, if you are out there, please e-mail me. I didn't mean to dress you down, if you felt that way I apologize. Please contact me so we can discuss what is the best option for you.