My first Soapbox post

[krebscout]

This is a simplistic view of things, sure, and I'm not just talking about the Borg drama, but...

Wouldn't we all have a lot less contention in our lives if we laughed more? Voiced our opinion or dissent with a gentle and good-natured tease rather than a point-by-point, passive-aggressive refutation? Not that I don't do it myself.

Or maybe drama is more fun than I'm giving it credit for...

[Gimgimno]

But I thrive on tearing people down without consideration of their feelings and opinions!

[Marduk]

I'm sure I'll end up voicing my opinion on this, just like I do on everything else (isn't it interesting how the internetz turn a moderately opinionated, but otherwise good natured guy into a black morass of dissent?) but before I do, I'd just like to say welcome to the soapbox Waldorf! It is a lot of fun up here, let me tell you. And even if you don't have enough soapboxes to stand on, I've got plenty I could lend you.

[NerdGirl]

Yeah, I think so. I'm not a fan of drama. But I do try to laugh at many things.

[C is for]

But I thrive on tearing people down without consideration of their feelings and opinions!

No kidding. I wouldn't've felt like I was on the defensive/'a traitor to my cause when I posted about the things I liked' this week if you hadn't dubbed me "Complainer."

[thebigcheese]

This is a simplistic view of things, sure, and I'm not just talking about the Borg drama, but...

Wouldn't we all have a lot less contention in our lives if we laughed more? Voiced our opinion or dissent with a gentle and good-natured tease rather than a point-by-point, passive-aggressive refutation? Not that I don't do it myself.

Or maybe drama is more fun than I'm giving it credit for...

Generally speaking, I think most people try to do that. I sure do, and I hope my own criticisms aren't offensive to anyone because that is never my intention. I believe that if you can't say something nice, at least try to say it constructively...or say nothing at all.

Now, if we're talking about anonymous forums on the Internet... Well, that's a whole different beast entirely. Sometimes it can be really hard to communicate that "gentle and good-natured tease" in mere text. And sometimes it's really easy to just post your cold and harsh opinion for all the world to see, because online you're anonymous and you don't see the reaction. I guess it's just harder to be nice without the face-to-face social context.

But even still, I stand by what I said in the first paragraph. And I'm not perfect at it. Sometimes I flat-out suck at it.

Several years back, I had the same professor for two semesters in a row, and at the beginning of my second semester with him, he got up and read a few of the previous semester's student ratings to the class. I had written him a particularly grilling rating that semester. After he read mine out loud, he was like "Letters like this one make me really sad."

I've never felt so small in my entire life...

It's kind of funny because in person, I'm so paranoid of offending someone that I often avoid criticism at all costs. So I end up suffering through a lot of stuff that drives me crazy because I'm too timid to speak up and say, "Hey I'd prefer if you don't do that." But with anonymous stuff like student ratings... Wow. I think I've definitely gone overboard a few times. It's so dumb though... "You've been irritating me for a whole semester and now I can get my sweet, anonymous revenge!"

[krebscout]

Good point - I guess I am mostly talking about online interactions, and not just anonymous ones. Communicating in writing has its own rules.

[Marduk]

Ok, I promised my two cents, and here it is.

I think humor can be a wonderful tool in this sort of context. My dad always cracked jokes while he was disciplining any of his kids; it was his way of saying, "you're in trouble now, but we still love you. This isn't as big of a deal as perhaps you might think." It is a wonderful way to say, "while I disagree, I still like ya." But I don't think it is very effective in persuasion.

The scripture that has always come to my mind in this context is D&C 121 41-46. I think if we show people we love them, and can demonstrate kindness, patience, long suffering, gentleness, and pure knowledge, we will do more to persuade people than anything else.

[thebigcheese]

And I think it's also important to pick your battles. Choose criticism for times when you can help someone else improve. Choose to forgive and forget when it's something insignificant or a mere difference of opinion.

Now, there's a fun line for BYU. Forget this C2G stuff! Let's start up a campaign for "Choose to Forgive"