Breastfeeding During Class

[bobtheenchantedone]

http://theboard.byu.edu/index.php?area=viewall&id=57880

Maybe it comes with my mother having three babies while I was living at home and old enough to take notice of things, but I've never considered that feeding a child could be a problem in basically any normal situation. Especially if the mother in question is sitting in the back of the class and uses a cover. I don't know about CPM, but I have found that there are always distractions and I just have to ignore them. I'm also one of the people who is able to study in the WILK instead of in the library where all is silent, and listen to music while studying, and watch my siblings while studying. I have even taken a five-year-old to class with me (don't worry, it was an acting class where we weren't doing much by that time in the semester).

If the baby starts crying, then yeah, the mother should take it out; however, it's not that hard to wait a minute or two. But quietly breastfeeding under a cover? Hardly more distracting than someone taking notes, in my opinion.

[NerdGirl]

I agree with everything Bob just said. Things like that are only a distraction if you decide to focus on them. If the mother is sitting quietly in the back breastfeeding under a blanket, you don't have to turn around and look at her.

[wired]

I disagree that things are a distraction only if you focus on them. I think a distraction is something that is atypical and draws attention by its nature. For instance, a blaring beeping during a test would naturally lead someone's mind away from their test to the source of the siren. I think breastfeeding falls in this category because breastfeeding in class is atypical - period. People can be disappointed in our culture all they like, but the reality is, it IS our culture. Breast are sexualized and, consequently, breastfeeding is going to carry some stigma when people do it openly. I personally find Cog's statement a little condescending. "This shouldn't make you uncomfortable, stop being uncomfortable, something is wrong with you because you are uncomfortable!" But it seems that more than just a small fraction of people will be uncomfortable with it. (I would be interested to see a large sample poll on American's feelings on breastfeeding in public. I would not be surprised if there was a very strong gender effect. In that regard, the gender make-up of the class ought to also be a consideration - I think breastfeeding in an SFL class might not be as controversial as in a mechanical engineering class.)

That being said, I think there are things the mother in this situation can do to minimize the distraction, including sitting on the back row, using a discrete cover and being as quiet as humanly possible would be a huge benefit to the students around here. Above all else, unless the professor asks the mother to not bring a child to class, the mother is well within legal bounds to breastfeed in class. If I were a fellow student in her class, I would try to be as understanding as possible. (I disagree with CPM on children in class. I admire students who are able to have a family while in school and I personally want to do everything I can to help them get through successfully. So long as they are sensitive to their baby's disruptions, I encourage their attendance in class. I don't even think I'd mind a woman breastfeeding in class so long as she was trying to be discrete.)

[Carrapicho]

Thank you so much for posting about this--as soon as I read original question, I knew there would be a discussion about it over here. I agree that breastfeeding during class *could* be a distraction. But the mother said she would use a nursing cover. Honestly, unless the baby is an extremely noisy eater, you would not even be able to tell she was breastfeeding. I know so many mothers who use the nursing covers not just for breastfeeding but also to rock the baby to sleep. It's not obvious at all what they're doing underneath the cover. If she sits in the back during class and only breastfeeds if the baby really needs it, people may not even realize there's a baby there.

Yes, formula and/or pre-pumped breast milk might be more ideal. However, speaking as a mother who could not afford formula, pumped milk was my only option when I was away from my baby (which was a lot, as I was back to work full-time when he was just a month old). And not all of us can pump extra milk. I was never able to build of a stockpile of stored milk--usually, I barely pumped enough one day for what he would need the next. This mother may not be able to pump enough beforehand, and even if she does get enough, if she misses a feeding one day because she's feeding the baby a bottle, then she might not produce enough for the baby's needs the next day. It's all about supply and demand.

Also, if the baby is due in September, then he or she will be young enough during at least part of the semester that the mother won't want to have to deal with nipple confusion. Some babies don't take to it very easily, and because of this, it is often recommended to not introduce a bottle until the baby is at least a month old. There are also babies who won't take a bottle from their mothers because they can sense that an actual breast is nearby--wouldn't it be so much more distracting to have a baby fussing because the mother is trying to feed a bottle, than just using a nursing cover and breastfeeding directly?

Sorry, I guess I get really passionate about the idea of breastfeeding. It's such a perfectly normal process, and our culture is so caught up with the sexual side of breasts that people have a problem with it--my own husband included. Note that I'm not advocating popping your shirt open and displaying yourself for all to see, but that using a nursing cover and being as discreet as possible shouldn't be distracting to anybody. OP, just make sure you talk with the professor beforehand, and if he/she wants you to ask the class about it at the beginning of the semester, then so be it. But for your sake and for that of your baby's, I hope you're able to work something out to give your baby the best nutrition possible.

[Marduk]

My issue with it isn't the sexual side of it, it is more the noise and distraction of it. I say, if it is quiet, and with relatively little movement, go for it. I have about the same issue with someone breastfeeding in class as someone unwrapping and chomping down on a sandwich during class.

[FauxRaiden]

I don't really have a problem with the breastfeeding, but I absolutely do have a problem with bringing children to class overall.

I often wish there was some sort of church ward that offers the environment of church without the kids involved. I suppose that sounds awfully Catholic of me, but being in the single's ward and not having crying babies during the sacrament is nice. If only they would allow childless married couples in a separate ward as well.

[Yarjka]

My issue with it isn't the sexual side of it, it is more the noise and distraction of it. I say, if it is quiet, and with relatively little movement, go for it. I have about the same issue with someone breastfeeding in class as someone unwrapping and chomping down on a sandwich during class.

This is my feeling on the matter as well. It all depends on how noisy of an eater the child is. Just like adults, if the child can eat quietly, I'm okay with eating in class (sitting in the back of the room would help much). If, however, they will be causing a distraction with their noise or preparation of their food, then it's simply not fair to the other students and it becomes rude. (This doesn't mean you don't have the right to do it, or that I would even say anything to you about it, it just means you'd be a rude fellow student, like so many others who disrupt class for other reasons (cell phones, texting, noisy eating, snoring, etc.)).

There was a woman in my evening calculus class who would bring her child with her ... it was not distracting at all, because she sat in the back and was always quick to leave whenever her baby cried. I'm sure she suffered from missing portions of the lecture, but I'm sure the professor was willing to go over what she missed with her privately. To me, that's the better option here ... go out into the hall to breastfeed when it's necessary (or find an empty classroom nearby). You'll miss a good half-hour of class, but it probably won't happen every time, and you can ask the professor to go over anything you missed.

I also know that children are absolutely not allowed in chemistry lab classes, even those that are longer than three hours, due to safety concerns. There's an example of a case where, regardless of how someone feels about breastfeeding, the rules of the class will simply dictate that it's not allowed.

[Carrapicho]

I often wish there was some sort of church ward that offers the environment of church without the kids involved. I suppose that sounds awfully Catholic of me, but being in the single's ward and not having crying babies during the sacrament is nice. If only they would allow childless married couples in a separate ward as well.

Wait until you have a child of your own--it will completely change your perspective on this. You'll start sympathizing with other parents instead of feeling annoyed. I'm really not saying that to get after you, I promise! I remember complaining about the noisy children a few months after we first got married, and my husband said something about it when our home teacher came to visit (he had a one-year-old at the time). His advice? "Make sure you have a testimony before you have children, because it becomes a million times harder to pay attention in church after you have a child." I couldn't agree more. At least we have a reprieve now because we can send our 2-year-old to nursery and actually get something out of Gospel Doctrine and Relief Society/Priesthood. Maybe it's a good thing we've chosen to hold off before having another child. I'm not sure I'm ready for 3-hour baby duty again!

[Carrapicho]

It all depends on how noisy of an eater the child is. Just like adults, if the child can eat quietly, I'm okay with eating in class (sitting in the back of the room would help much). If, however, they will be causing a distraction with their noise or preparation of their food, then it's simply not fair to the other students and it becomes rude.

Just wanted to point out that, at least in my experience, breastfeeding is much quieter than pulling out a bottle, heating it up/shaking it to mix it up/pulling off the cap/whatever else is necessary, and then feeding the baby that way. Once the baby is latched on or has the bottle in his/her mouth, the only sound is their gulping, and the sound of a little 10 lb baby gulping really isn't that loud.

[FauxRaiden]

I often wish there was some sort of church ward that offers the environment of church without the kids involved. I suppose that sounds awfully Catholic of me, but being in the single's ward and not having crying babies during the sacrament is nice. If only they would allow childless married couples in a separate ward as well.

Wait until you have a child of your own--it will completely change your perspective on this. You'll start sympathizing with other parents instead of feeling annoyed. I'm really not saying that to get after you, I promise! I remember complaining about the noisy children a few months after we first got married, and my husband said something about it when our home teacher came to visit (he had a one-year-old at the time). His advice? "Make sure you have a testimony before you have children, because it becomes a million times harder to pay attention in church after you have a child." I couldn't agree more. At least we have a reprieve now because we can send our 2-year-old to nursery and actually get something out of Gospel Doctrine and Relief Society/Priesthood. Maybe it's a good thing we've chosen to hold off before having another child. I'm not sure I'm ready for 3-hour baby duty again!

Oh I'm sure my views will change at some point. I don't really plan on having more than one maybe two kids when I'm somewhere into my 30's. Hopefully my kids will be well-managed enough (impossible I know) for it not to be an issue. In the mean time, I reserve the right to complain about people that have kids. >_>

[Carrapicho]

In the mean time, I reserve the right to complain about people that have kids. >_>

I reserve the right to complain about people that complain about people that have kids, too. Just sayin'.

[Yarjka]

It all depends on how noisy of an eater the child is. Just like adults, if the child can eat quietly, I'm okay with eating in class (sitting in the back of the room would help much). If, however, they will be causing a distraction with their noise or preparation of their food, then it's simply not fair to the other students and it becomes rude.

Just wanted to point out that, at least in my experience, breastfeeding is much quieter than pulling out a bottle, heating it up/shaking it to mix it up/pulling off the cap/whatever else is necessary, and then feeding the baby that way. Once the baby is latched on or has the bottle in his/her mouth, the only sound is their gulping, and the sound of a little 10 lb baby gulping really isn't that loud.

Well, our experiences clearly differ. My baby is a very loud gulper who also whines loudly right before feeding and fusses a lot during feeding (and makes weird grunting noises). And then she has to be burped, which is usually astonishingly loud. I've never done formula, so I'm not sure how someone heats that up in a classroom setting. My guess is it is prepared beforehand at home, and manages to stay heated through some sort of insulation. The pumped milk we use at home stays good for a few hours at room temperature.

[bobtheenchantedone]

My mom usually went to the mother's lounge when in church, but aside from that, she would just pull out the blanket. Anywhere. A couple of years ago when we hiked Timp, mom breastfed Caiti as we took the tour through the caves. She's done it at parks, family gatherings, in other people's homes, and at restaurants. Very unapologetically, too, though she would inform anyone in our party that that was what she was doing (as a warning, not as a "Hey! Look at me! I'm going to breastfeed my child now!).

Whenever formula made it into our house we (my siblings and I) would all look at it curiously until it was given away to someone else. Mother never even considered formula. She was very well-versed in the benefits of breast milk and quite willing to lecture anyone about it.

[Katya]

I often wish there was some sort of church ward that offers the environment of church without the kids involved. I suppose that sounds awfully Catholic of me, but being in the single's ward and not having crying babies during the sacrament is nice. If only they would allow childless married couples in a separate ward as well.

I've heard of wards that have special Sunday School classes for parents with pre-nursery-aged kids. Those with kids that age don't have to attend that class, but they feel like they don't have to leave immediately if their kid gets fussy, because the other people in the class are more understanding.

Personally, I think that babies are more interesting than most of what goes on in Sac. Mtg., so I wouldn't go back to a YSA ward, even if I could.

FauxRaiden, what would you do if you were called to serve in Primary in a family ward?

[FauxRaiden]

I often wish there was some sort of church ward that offers the environment of church without the kids involved. I suppose that sounds awfully Catholic of me, but being in the single's ward and not having crying babies during the sacrament is nice. If only they would allow childless married couples in a separate ward as well.

I've heard of wards that have special Sunday School classes for parents with pre-nursery-aged kids. Those with kids that age don't have to attend that class, but they feel like they don't have to leave immediately if their kid gets fussy, because the other people in the class are more understanding.

Personally, I think that babies are more interesting than most of what goes on in Sac. Mtg., so I wouldn't go back to a YSA ward, even if I could.

FauxRaiden, what would you do if you were called to serve in Primary in a family ward?

Ya know, I honestly wouldn't mind that at all. I don't particularly care to have any kids of my own but I don't mind them that much either. A long while back I was called as primary teacher for the 10-11 year olds in the ward. I actually liked it quite a bit. However, I didn't like it because it was overly spiritual or anything I just liked hanging out with the kids. In my experience, I don't believe I ever felt anything really spiritual from it but that could just be me. It never really felt like a 'spiritual' block when I was doing that, only the sacrament meeting was what I felt to be spiritual.

It was kind of an awkward time for me though, so I wouldn't take my opinion in that respect to heart. Just my experience.

I don't know that I can accurately portray my feelings on kids. I just don't feel the same way about them as what I think most people do. It seems that when others see a baby they think, "OMG a baby! So cute!" and I just can't help but think "Yeah, it's a baby. So what?" In any case, the disruption of children in sacrament meeting changes the way I feel in sacrament meeting. Then again, maybe I'm just being a baby?...Pun intended.

[bobtheenchantedone]

My mom used to get really bugged when she'd teach YW's and a mother would bring in a baby and the girls would be fighting over who got to hold it. "Please take your baby back so these girls can concentrate on the lesson." She's the kind of teacher who obviously pauses a lesson until a conversation between students is over, takes cell phones, and generally does her best to embarrass those who don't respect her enough to pay attention to her. : )

[Katya]

Ya know, I honestly wouldn't mind that at all. I don't particularly care to have any kids of my own but I don't mind them that much either. A long while back I was called as primary teacher for the 10-11 year olds in the ward. I actually liked it quite a bit. However, I didn't like it because it was overly spiritual or anything I just liked hanging out with the kids. In my experience, I don't believe I ever felt anything really spiritual from it but that could just be me. It never really felt like a 'spiritual' block when I was doing that, only the sacrament meeting was what I felt to be spiritual.

It sounds like a quiet atmosphere where you can really focus helps you feel the spirit best, and I can see how sacrament meeting (with no children), would be most conducive to that.

I've never been someone who felt the spirit very often at church, so I'm always desperate for something to relieve the boredom. Babies help a lot with that.

[bobtheenchantedone]

I've never been someone who felt the spirit very often at church, so I'm always desperate for something to relieve the boredom. Babies help a lot with that.

We're getting more and more off topic, but I just had to say that my entire family colors during church. Unless we're playing with magnets.

[mic0]

I know this is going to sound ignorant and mean, but I'm sorry I just am not comfortable around women breastfeeding. It isn't sexual to me, but it is something I have literally never been around. I had no way to mention this in an answer and actually contribute, I just want to know... am I really the only one who is uncomfortable around women breastfeeding for no other reason than it isn't something I've been around?

[Unit of Energy]

My mom used to tell a story about breastfeeding me. My uncle came to town for a while when I was a baby, and he could not understand how I grew so much when I was never fed. He had no idea that when my mom was holding me under the cover she was actually feeding me. He just thought that she was making sure I wouldn't be woken up by the lights on in the room.