Rules on tipping

[Marduk]

Ok, let's be honest. We all knew it was only a matter of time before I wrote something like this. Enough times of getting stiffed eventually gets to a person.

How to tip effectively, and not be a terrible person:

1. When a tip is expected, ALWAYS GIVE ONE! Even if service was poor, food was cold, the maitre'd gave you a dirty look, etc. The person serving/delivering your food is making less than minimum wage in almost all cases. You don't have to give everyone huge tips, and your tip amount should reflect how you felt about your experience, but something should always be given.

2. How much? As a minimum for wait persons, 10%. For delivery drivers, 10% or three dollars, whichever is greater. The reason for this is that there is a time investment for delivery regardless of the size of the order; drive time will always be the same. This amount should go up when you are happy with your service.

3. Who should you tip? As a general rule, wait staff and delivery drivers (as far as food services go.)

4. Miscellaneous: if you have discounts, do not count these when deciding how much to tip. Tip based on the pre-discounted amount. Also, if you feel the need to not tip, I really don't care what your excuse is. I don't need to hear about how you can't afford it, or whatever. Next time, remember that tip is part of the bill. If you can't afford the tip, you can't afford the food.

Now, some may be saying at this point, "why should I tip? Tip is for excellent service. Unless I get amazing service, I ain't tipping." This may have been true in the past, but now it is expected, and the businesses are structured around it. It is part of the cost. Count it as such. Yes, you won't be refused service if you don't tip. You also can yell at the service reps and make a mess of the restaurant. Just because you can be awful to those around you, doesn't mean you should.

[Craig Jessop]

Now, some may be saying at this point, "why should I tip? Tip is for excellent service. Unless I get amazing service, I ain't tipping." This may have been true in the past, but now it is expected, and the businesses are structured around it. It is part of the cost. Count it as such.

How else are we supposed to express dissatisfaction with service? I get that it's something that's polite to do, but when the waiter can't keep my glass full, the hostess is snotty, the food is super late, and they seem to be rushing me or whatever, giving a tiny tip is really our only recourse.

[NerdGirl]

I usually tip 20%+ because I have to ask a bunch of questions about whether or not stuff has flour in it, and I figure leaving a big tip gives them a more positive impression of people with food allergies who have to ask a bunch of ingredient questions. Plus a lot of the time when I tell them what I can't eat they really go out of their way to be helpful.

And I think that a lot of the time when something goes wrong with your meal, like the service is slow, it's probably not even the waiter's fault anyway. If a waiter was a jerk to me, then I would give them a very small tip, but I've never actually been in that situation.

[Tao]

Now, some may be saying at this point, "why should I tip? Tip is for excellent service. Unless I get amazing service, I ain't tipping." This may have been true in the past, but now it is expected, and the businesses are structured around it. It is part of the cost. Count it as such.

How else are we supposed to express dissatisfaction with service? I get that it's something that's polite to do, but when the waiter can't keep my glass full, the hostess is snotty, the food is super late, and they seem to be rushing me or whatever, giving a tiny tip is really our only recourse.

mmm, it's a hard call to make. To me, the size of the tip usually means very little. Last Saturday I worked for nothing but tips, and the two people who I think were most appreciative of my labor were at the extremes of the tipping curve. I'd be hard pressed to say if I'm more proud of the 20$ or the 2$.

As for getting stiffed? eh, it happens. I just presume they were unable or unwilling to do so, and move on. If unable, I'd not demand it of them; if unwilling, then I'd be better served to put it behind me and step up my game else I end up botching the next one as well.

I tend to be a fairly heavy tipper, I've been known to leave a tip bigger than my bill if I'm impressed. But I've also found myself leaving relatively small tips while still impressed with service (usually when I'm not the one paying for the meal, and am not sure if the person who is is going to tip). If service truly is dissatisfying, (it takes a lot to reach that level) I've no problems not leaving a tip.

[Unit of Energy]

My biggest beef with tips is when the delivery person or waitstaff ask for a tip.

[Darth Fedora]

Here's a question: when waiters look at the amount of the tip, do they take it as constructive criticism (wow, I disappointed this lady. probably because she had to ask me to refill her drink twice. I will improve!) or do they just take it as a marker of how cheap a person is? My brother the ex-waiter, current missionary says the latter most of the time. So when I tip I just pick whatever amount between 15 and 20% will make my total bill an even dollar amount.

[Craig Jessop]

Because I'm an idiot and can't do math, I usually give an even dollar amount, like three dollars or something. I'll go higher for exceptional service, and if there was NO service, I won't give anything (like the time the guy in the Chinese restaurant gave us our food, then went and ate his own dinner at a neighboring table with terrible table manners, all while my glass sat empty on the table. He then ASKED for a tip. I said "no way, Jose!")

I'm a heavy drinker if you couldn't tell, and keeping my glass full is the #1 way for a waiter to keep me happy.

[Dead Cat]

I'm a heavy drinker if you couldn't tell

This could sound really bad out of context. Of course, my mom sometimes says she drinks too much because she's on fluid restriction (it's just water, guys!...with some occasional lemon juice).

[mic0]

Whenever my boyfriend and I are at a restaurant where the service was less than satisfactory, we make sure to leave a very small tip then write on the receipt what the problem was. It doesn't happen often, but we want to let them know why we did it I hope they understand our reasoning and aren't just mad.

[Marduk]

How else are we supposed to express dissatisfaction with service? I get that it's something that's polite to do, but when the waiter can't keep my glass full, the hostess is snotty, the food is super late, and they seem to be rushing me or whatever, giving a tiny tip is really our only recourse.

The best way to express dissatisfaction is to tell them. The food is cold? Let your waiter know. The hostess was rude? Let the manager know. These aren't the way that businesses want to operate. It is to their advantage to give you good service regardless of how you tip your waiter. But when you tip a waiter, you are tipping a person, not a company. Like I say, you can express dissatisfaction with their personal service (not anything else) but even when you do, still tip at least minimums. In most cases, this will only bring the server back up to minimum wage.

[Marduk]

Here's a question: when waiters look at the amount of the tip, do they take it as constructive criticism (wow, I disappointed this lady. probably because she had to ask me to refill her drink twice. I will improve!) or do they just take it as a marker of how cheap a person is? My brother the ex-waiter, current missionary says the latter most of the time. So when I tip I just pick whatever amount between 15 and 20% will make my total bill an even dollar amount.

It really is impossible to do the former. I've bent over backwards for people only to get stiffed, then have done things I didn't think out of the ordinary, only to get 30%+ tips. It would seem that people tip much more frequently on how they feel, or on their opinions on tips, than on the quality of service they recieved from me.

[Whistler]

y'all might be interested in this research digest: http://bps-research-digest.blogspot.com ... ch+Digest)

[thebigcheese]

It would seem that people tip much more frequently on how they feel, or on their opinions on tips, than on the quality of service they received from me.

Bingo. I think personal opinion has more to do with it than anything else.

Personally, I'm a middle of the road person. I give somewhere in the ballpark of 15% for nearly everyone. In fact, it's pretty dang rare that I'll give any more or any less. Why? Because I think the little service details are stupid. If my glass of water is running low, I don't think it's a big deal to flag somebody down and ask for more. If my food is slow, I'm more likely to blame the kitchen than the waiter. Granted, there are definitely occasions where the waitstaff is terrible and don't deserve the money. But those occasions are rare, and I'd rather pay decent people for putting up with a sucky job than nitpicking over an empty glass of water. I try to avoid being a pretentious guest.

[Dragon Lady]

1. When a tip is expected, ALWAYS GIVE ONE! Even if service was poor, food was cold, the maitre'd gave you a dirty look, etc. The person serving/delivering your food is making less than minimum wage in almost all cases. You don't have to give everyone huge tips, and your tip amount should reflect how you felt about your experience, but something should always be given.

When I was a waitress, our wage was less than minimum, but if we still made less than minimum after tips, our boss was required to pay us more to bring us back up to minimum. And that didn't happen very often, despite living in the middle of nowhere with mostly college kids for customers. I don't know if that was just an Idaho thing or not, but I've always assumed that to be the case.

Because I know the stresses of waitressing, I typically am more generous with tips. But I will tip less if the service/food was horrible, especially if they're not even busy. As a waitress I felt that a good average for tips was $1 per person. So if I'm not in the mood to do math, I'll typically fall back on that. Unless it's just me. Or unless it's a really nice restaurant. Then I'll just do the math.

[Craig Jessop]

I went to a restaurant recently and they asked for tips at the counter where we ordered! Before they even provided any service or food! How bold is that? Needless to say I didn't tip them right then, but waited until after the food.

[Dead Cat]

My mom once told me that tipping a penny is considered a pretty insulting tip.

[ahem.]

What about fast food places that put a tip line on the receipt (like Costa Vida)? That bugs me. I feel they're basically the equivalent of a tip jar, but sillier because it's not even lifting me of the burden of carrying around coins. I might drop my spare change in a tip jar, but I am unlikely to put anything more than that in unless someone was ridiculously helpful. But leaving the tip option on the receipt taunts me by making me feel cheap for not adding anything.

Have I been wrong? Is there actually any good reason to add on a tip at a fast food restaurant?

[Dead Cat]

Is there actually any good reason to add on a tip at a fast food restaurant?

If they throw a parade in your honor, it might be nice to tip them. Maybe.