Board Question #61643 reminded me of how much I hate the this quote (but my rant is only peripheral to the topic being discussed in that question, so I'm posting it here instead of in Reader Response)."Soul mates" are fiction and an illusion; and while every young man and young woman will seek with all diligence and prayerfulness to find a mate with whom life can be most compatible and beautiful, yet it is certain that almost any good man and any good woman can have happiness and a successful marriage if both are willing to pay the price. (Spencer W. Kimball. "Oneness in Marriage," Ensign, Mar. 1977, 4)
It's not the talk I dislike. Taken as a whole, it's still pretty relevant, 30+ years later. What I dislike is when the above quote is taken out of context and used to browbeat single Mormons.
Taken on its own, the quote pretty much states that you should be able to get married to (almost) anyone and have a happy and successful marriage if you (and your spouse) are good people and "are willing to pay the price" (which presumably translates to "work hard at the marriage").
Therefore, if you are NOT married, especially if you are of an "advanced" age and are not married, it must be because you are putting your own (selfish) desires above hard work and righteousness.
However, I maintain that this is not the correct interpretation of the quote, and that the greater context of the of the talk proves this. For starters, the paragraph that this quote comes from is arguably directed at people who are already married. (The five paragraphs before it certainly are.) And the preceding two sentences are as follows:
Taken in that light, the quote sounds less like "suck it up and get married, single slackers" and more like "So you got married and now the honeymoon's over and life's gotten kind of hard. Don't worry that you somehow made a mistake and didn't find your 'soul mate.' If you're both willing to work at it, you can find happiness."While marriage is difficult, and discordant and frustrated marriages are common, yet real, lasting happiness is possible, and marriage can be, more an exultant ecstasy than the human mind can conceive. This is within the reach of every couple, every person.
However, it could still be the case that both interpretations are implied, so I now present another quote:
There are a number of other quotes in the talk that counsel singles to be wise in choosing a mate and to choose someone who is righteous and hard working, but I find this quote striking because it acknowledges that there will be things which are important to YOU, as a specific individual, and that you should select a partner with those things in mind. And giving even a small nod to that kind of individuality is enough to convince me that President Kimball never meant to imply that any two righteous people ought to be able to get married.[T]here must be the proper approach toward marriage, which contemplates the selection of a spouse who reaches as nearly as possible the pinnacle of perfection in all the matters which are of importance to the individuals.
QED