69293 - Singleness and Celibacy

[Emiliana]

Congratulations! You are a normally functioning human being!

Different question, but highly applicable. Thanks, functionfulness.

[UnluckyStuntman]

I guess I felt like a lot of you gals do... that I had just as much sex drive as any man! But now that I'm married, I find that I'm not as interested in sex as my husband is. Maybe I just wanted what I couldn't have?

My sex drive changed post-marriage too (but I was sexually active before). I'm pretty sure that's normal after major life changes, hormone shifts, stress - all sorts of stuff can affect a person's sex drive.

[krebscout]

Whistler and any other ladies (or men?) who might care: my LDS Family Services counselor recommended to me a very non-LDS book that changed my life. I won't post the title here, on account of it might embarrass some readers, but if you want the title PM me.

(Whistler, I actually gave it as a wedding present to ahem. Not sure if you had arrived yet when we were discussing it or not)

[yayfulness]

Congratulations! You are a normally functioning human being!

Different question, but highly applicable. Thanks, functionfulness.

I basically stole that quote from Elder Carlos Amado (an LDS leader). He was speaking in my mission, and since there were no sisters in my zone, he spoke kind of directly about the Law of Chastity, and exactly what standard we as missionaries needed to uphold. He made it very clear at the beginning, though, that if we looked at girls and instinctively thought that they were attractive, it meant that we were fully functional human beings and everything was working as it should.

[krebscout]

I have never received so many private messages in my life

[Marduk]

Yeah, I was just gonna say, you should just post the title here. I mean, the board has really gone downhill in the past few years, right? So might as well.

[bobtheenchantedone]

I second posting it! Mostly because I'm too lazy to PM people, and I love non-fiction about sex/relationships.

...does that sound bad? I just find it fascinating. That and politics.

[UffishThought]

I'm curious and lazy also.

[Whistler]

krebscout recommended the book I <3 Female Orgasm. I've read a similar one called The Elusive Orgasm, but haven't quite found the motivation to abandon my vibrator.

[wired]

She's got no idea what it is like. (The same goes for me, too, obviously. Male and female sex drives are like apples and oranges, in my opinion. I understand the female sex drive in theory, but I can't say what it'd be like to live with it.)

+billion. I've always wondered who had such wide life experiences that they knew precisely what it felt like to have the typical male sex drive and the typical female sex drive, and then objectively compare them.

I think if you go as a matter of physiology, it's fairly well-established that men can climax sexually quicker than woman. (Note: I originally put it as just "climax" but that actually seemed slightly more risque than "climax sexually" - one of the few times adding the word "sexually" has made a phrase less risque to me.) But in terms of who has more innate sexual urges pushing them on, I have no idea how you would judge that kind of thing.

Also, as for wet dreams (I had no idea they were called nocturnal emissions until this question...), I think the reader might be thinking it is much different than it actually is. As Marduk put it, wet dreams don't "dent" sexual drive at all. Nor, for the most part, is there any pleasure derived out of a wet dream. Just waking up and thinking, "Guh, hope nothing got on my sheets." Not to mention some confusion when you're going through puberty... no talk or health ed video can prepare you for that kind of thing.

[Portia]

I think if you go as a matter of physiology, it's fairly well-established that men can climax sexually quicker than wom[e]n.

?!

[bismark]

how about them giants? world series!!!

[NerdGirl]

I think if you go as a matter of physiology, it's fairly well-established that men can climax sexually quicker than wom[e]n.

?!

Research supposedly shows that on average it takes women a few minutes longer (I think it's something like 7-14 min for men and 10-20 min for women - would have to dig up my urology notes that seem to have disappeared). But the studies that established these sorts of things tended to based on heterosexual vaginal intercourse, and hopefully without being too graphic (although I would gladly be more graphic if people want), the position(s) in which most people do that are not necessarily optimal for female stimulation.

How about them giants indeed.

[Portia]

I think if you go as a matter of physiology, it's fairly well-established that men can climax sexually quicker than wom[e]n.

?!

Research supposedly shows that on average it takes women a few minutes longer (I think it's something like 7-14 min for men and 10-20 min for women - would have to dig up my urology notes that seem to have disappeared). But the studies that established these sorts of things tended to based on heterosexual vaginal intercourse, and hopefully without being too graphic (although I would gladly be more graphic if people want), the position(s) in which most people do that are not necessarily optimal for female stimulation.

How about them giants indeed.

Wow, I guess I'm an alien. Thirty seconds, tops.

[mic0]

Maybe it depends on what you are calling your "start time" compared to those in the study? Or maybe you're an alien. WHO KNOWS!

[Yarjka]

Maybe it depends on what you are calling your "start time"...

Ready, set, go!

[Watts]

Maybe it depends on what you are calling your "start time"...

Ready, set, go!

I'm late to the conversation here, but this made me laugh really hard.

I think the take away message here should not be that it takes women longer (on average) to orgasm, but that our refractory period between orgasms is either non-existent or waaaaaaay shorter than most men-folk.

Oh, and our orgasms usually last longer than men too.

Basically it rocks to be a woman.

[Yarjka]

Maybe it depends on what you are calling your "start time"...

Ready, set, go!

I'm late to the conversation here, but this made me laugh really hard.

I think I've read somewhere that laughter and orgasm are similar responses. I'm glad I could give you such pleasure.

[Portia]

Maybe it depends on what you are calling your "start time"...

Ready, set, go!

I'm late to the conversation here, but this made me laugh really hard.

I think the take away message here should not be that it takes women longer (on average) to orgasm, but that our refractory period between orgasms is either non-existent or waaaaaaay shorter than most men-folk.

Oh, and our orgasms usually last longer than men too.

Basically it rocks to be a woman.

I think if more religiously conservative women could be pro-orgasm, their marriages would be better and their shame responses could be overcome. I always thought that the female sexual response basically wins. And as Elaine said, we're just more aesthetically pleasing.

[Zedability]

I think if more religiously conservative women could be pro-orgasm, their marriages would be better and their shame responses could be overcome. I always thought that the female sexual response basically wins.

Maybe I'm hopelessly naive, but why would people not be pro-orgasm?