Sharona Fleming wrote:I feel like you’re putting words in my mouth a little bit, Vorpal. You seem to suggest that I have no basis for self-identifying as a feminist beyond a book I once read, but I never said that. I did, however, say that a chapter in a book influenced me greatly. I have other reasons for believing as I do, but I don’t hesitate to say that research from people I respect has lead me to believe the things I do about gender issues.
That's all I intended to say.
I think you are making some assumptions about me and my position that couldn’t be farther from the truth. You don’t have to preach to me about the good ole’ days of television. You seem to have assumed that “Betty: Girl Engineer” was my first exposure to Father Knows Best or any 1950’s television. This simply isn’t the case. I think you’d be hard pressed to find someone my age who knows more about Leave It To Beaver than I do. Watching an hour or two of old television shows together was a favorite pastime of my family while I was a teen. Knowing that, don’t you think it’s a bit silly to be saying that I find Father Knows Best to be “inherently ‘evil’”? Quite the contrary, I find great enjoyment in watching older TV shows. But just because I enjoy them doesn’t mean I can’t think critically about what I see and discern that I don’t want to be viewed the way that women were viewed then.
You said that what you saw in this episode is “He[Doyle] feels he ought to be allowed to make his own choices about his career and future, but he doesn’t feel that women deserve the same privilege. Instead, a woman should be content with being a pretty little wife to her husband. It’s her job to be there when he gets home merely because, as a male, he deserves her. … a woman should not seek employment because she might be taking some guy’s job…. males are entitled to nice, pretty wives simply because they work hard all day…. the old “separate spheres” mentality that has the potential to keep a woman an unwilling prisoner in her own home and a man uninvolved in the household. I can’t see equal partners in Doyle’s vision—how can I when he makes women out to be nice, pretty little things to be had by men?” I think we can agree that these things are inherently evil, can we not? That’s what I believe Paul Mavis meant when he said that some people see something inherently evil in this series.
I must confess that I don’t think it’s difficult to see what melbabi is talking about—these negative attitudes toward women that existed. I don’t think it can be denied that they cropped up in “Betty: Girl Engineer,” and I have seen it in other places in old TV shows too.
The negative attitudes mebabi talked about and I addressed were (1) women always wore dresses, (2) had dinner ready, (3) did all of the housework. Yes, it can be denied that they cropped up in “Betty: Girl Engineer.” I showed how women did not always wear dresses, the only meal time scene showed lunch was not ready when father came home, and the father shared in the housework. My wife also pointed out to me that we see in another episode that the son, Bud, was also expected to clean his room.
At that time it was the style for women to wear dresses. Why did they wear dresses? They did it because they wanted to look attractive to men. I think that shows a positive attitude, not a negative attitude. Styles change, but generally speaking women still want to look attractive to men. Good marital relations depend on each person trying to please the other person instead of only looking selfishly at what he or she wants for himself or herself. It would be nice to bring back more of that attitude of striving to make life more pleasant for those we love.
Having diner ready was a sign of love, not of meek submission to the will of a tyrant. Women supported their husbands and their families by doing their part in the relationship. Each had different roles to play, and success depended on teamwork. A family doesn’t function well when each person thinks he should be the star and is not willing to play well his position on the team. In the ideal family the role of father was not superior to the role of mother. The woman who thinks “Let him make his own dinner,” or, “how dare he expect anything from me?” is not being fair to the family.
It wouldn’t hurt a man to help with the housework, and sometimes men were a little insensitive to this. However, the modern idea that in order to be equitable the husband has to do at least fifty percent of the housework is not fair to the husband. In an equal partnership where the woman has agreed to stay home and take care of the kids while her husband works it is unequal to expect him to do all of his work for the family, and then share equally in all her work. A woman who stays home while her husband is providing for the family and does most of the housework is a positive attitude toward women. It shows that they are willing to live up to their part of the partnership.
For example, before Betty gets home and tells her parents her plan to pursue engineering, Jim and Margaret are discussing a dress Margaret has bought for Betty. Jim says something like, “Why do women love dresses so much? It seems so silly and simple-minded.” (Sorry I don’t have the exact quote, but I think my memory serves me well here.)
This is the way it goes.
Second scene. Anderson home. Margaret, Betty’s mother, is taking a dress out of a box. She is talking to Jim, Betty’s father.
Margaret: Isn’t it cute. I just couldn’t resist buying it for Betty. Oh, I hope she’ll like it.
Jim: Like it!? She’ll grab it and race from mirror to mirror swooning at every glance. Why do girls act so silly over dresses? It’s almost simple-minded.
Margaret: So that they can look feminine and trap some simple-minded male and get him to pay for all their silly dresses!
Jim: Touché! Touché!
Margaret: Actually, Betty is getting to the age where she needs some grown-up….
You see, what Jim is talking about is Betty’s typical response to getting a new dress, running from mirror to mirror and swooning at every glance. Of course Jim is exaggerating for comic effect, but this scene does help to establish the change in Betty’s attitude toward things like dresses. After her career decision she starts to wear manly clothes and tries to imitate men, which is a little upsetting to her parents. Jim is teasing Margaret with this dialogue, and Margaret teases him right back, winning this battle of wits.
Sharona Fleming wrote:Then when Betty comes in and shows no interest at all in the dress, her father acts astounded. “Betty, I’m not sure you understand,” he says. “This is a dress—D-R-E-S-S.” Don’t you think that sends a negative attitude about women? I realize it’s supposed to be somewhat humorous (and if I hadn’t the laugh-track would have clued me in), but where is the humor in a condescending attitude?
I might be tempted to think this was a condescending and negative attitude, except Jim’s attitude is totally justifiable based on what he knows about Betty. Her typical reaction, up until this moment in time, was to get all goofy and silly over a new dress. I think Jim thought that Betty was just so wrapped up in her own news that the reality of the new dress hadn’t sunk in. The humor in the situation is that we, the audience, know something about Betty’s news that makes Jim reaction look kind of silly.
Then, when Betty shares her aspirations about engineering, she is basically ignored by both of her parents: her father doesn’t look up from his newspaper and her mother fusses over the dress.
They parents do ignore Betty. This is explained in the following dialogue
Betty: Mother! Didn’t you hear what I said? I’m going to be an Engineer!
Margaret: Yes I heard you.
Betty: But you don’t believe me.
Margaret: Well certainly not. You’re joking.
Betty: Oh, am I? Well, do you know what I’m going to do all next week during spring vacation? I’m going to work with a county surveying crew.
Jim: Surveying crew!?
Margaret: Surveying crew!?
Betty: That’s right, a surveying crew.
Bud: Surveying crew!?
Betty: Oh, who asked you anyway?
Betty leaves chasing Bud up the stairs.
Jim and Margaret together: Surveying crew?
So, at first Jim and Margaret just think Betty is joking. The family does a lot of teasing and joking, so this is nothing unusual. The idea of Betty wanting to be an engineer is so foreign to the way she has acted for the last eighteen years of her life that they can’t believe she is serious. But when they realize that she is serious they certainly don’t ignore her. They are amazed and very interested.
Sharona Fleming wrote:I think this is the perfect example to demonstrate how Jim views the women in his life. In the first scene he calls women silly for caring about dresses, but then he completely ignores Betty when she talks about engineering. She wanted to be anything BUT simple-minded and silly, but her parents refused to take her seriously when she showed an interest outside of what they considered to be proper for a girl.
So, Jim views running from mirror to mirror and swooning over a new dress as silly, but as soon as he realizes that she isn’t joking about becoming an engineer they are intensely interested.
It seems to me that you are only focusing on a couple of lines from the Proclamation on Families when you say that 1950s TV sends the right message about gender.
I don’t say that 1950s TV sends the right message about gender. I say that this episode supports a role of fathers as having the primary responsibility to provide for their families, and mothers the primary responsibility of nurturing her children.
Yes, I realize that it talks about the roles of fathers and mothers, but you’re putting it in the context that all mothers must be stay-at-home-moms, and that all dads must be the sole bread-winners. My copy of the Proclamation doesn’t say how those sacred roles must be fulfilled. It never states that mothers cannot have careers or else they won’t be fulfilling their role as a nurturer.
Not at all. There will be some mothers who must work outside of the home, but the Church teaches that when women have small children they should not work out of the home unless it is absolutely necessary to provide the bare necessities of life. Your copy does say what ideally should be the primary role of fathers and mothers, which is what I am talking about.
It doesn’t say that fathers must be the “one with the career,” as you put it. It does, however, say “fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners.” Since it is never stated how those roles must be filled, I don’t think it’s right to say “the male should be the one with a career, the one who is out working to support the family…” and that’s the only right way to do it!
I think you are using the phrase “obligated to help one another as equal partners” to negate the sentences which come just before. It does state how these roles ought to (I don’t say “must”) be filled. A woman should prepare herself before marriage so that she can take up a career if the necessity arises through death, sickness, divorce or otherwise. And she should continue to learn and educate herself. But clearly the proclamation makes a distinction between male and female roles in a family.
Here are a couple of sources for more information on how to interpret the Proclamation. “The Family” by Henry B. Eyring,
http://lds.org/ensign/1998/02/the-family?lang=eng and
http://lds.org/manual/doctrine-and-cove ... d?lang=eng