70863 Dealbreakers

[mic0]

Oh, Whistler, I just played Netrunner! It's pretty cool, but I definitely need to play it again. The first run through was just like "Is this what I'm supposed to do? Is this how it works? What is happening?" Also, Mr. Mico was able to win and lose on the same turn which was pretty amazing.

[Whistler]

nice! it's a little hard to figure out at first but worth the effort. on the OT, I guess it's silly to have things like hobbies be a dealbreaker, but it's almost like if you get too similar it's easier to dislike another person's choices.

[Portia]

but it's almost like if you get too similar it's easier to dislike another person's choices.

How so?

[Tally M.]

but it's almost like if you get too similar it's easier to dislike another person's choices.

How so?

I dated a guy once that was REALLY into Doctor Who. And you think I'm bad. It got to the point where I just couldn't stand his obsession.

[Portia]

but it's almost like if you get too similar it's easier to dislike another person's choices.

How so?

I dated a guy once that was REALLY into Doctor Who. And you think I'm bad. It got to the point where I just couldn't stand his obsession.

<Slack-jawed incomprehension>

[Tally M.]

How so?

I dated a guy once that was REALLY into Doctor Who. And you think I'm bad. It got to the point where I just couldn't stand his obsession.

<Slack-jawed incomprehension>

Seriously. I'm not obsessed, especially compared to him. It's just easier for it to appear that way online.

We could have up to a third of our conversation in Doctor Who references. That's a bit much.

[Whistler]

but it's almost like if you get too similar it's easier to dislike another person's choices.

How so?

Like just now, how I eschewed Magic for Netrunner. It's not because I dislike games, but it's because I'm passionate about strategy games being balanced and having good design. Or like there's an old joke about two people who meet, discover they're both Christians, Protestants, even, and feel some comradarie for one another, but then hate each other when they find out they're neighboring/competing sects. It's like how I'm more insulted when a fellow graduate of my English program makes a grammar error.

[Portia]

but it's almost like if you get too similar it's easier to dislike another person's choices.

How so?

Like just now, how I eschewed Magic for Netrunner. It's not because I dislike games, but it's because I'm passionate about strategy games being balanced and having good design. Or like there's an old joke about two people who meet, discover they're both Christians, Protestants, even, and feel some comradarie [sic] for one another, but then hate each other when they find out they're neighboring/competing sects. It's like how I'm more insulted when a fellow graduate of my English program makes a grammar error.

Edited for you. Mwahaha.

Hmm. Is this feeling less common among people who are more mainstream and less passionate devotees of a minority subculture? If I avoided everyone who likes symphonic music, that'd be a lot of people. But if I want to be passionate about Tchaikovsky because that's my "thing" and I date a guy whose thing is Ravel, I guess I get that. But I tend to favor sharing (I liked dating someone who spoke French: my boyfriend speaks Spanish, and I don't, so we can't talk about it that much, although I've read about the same amount of Spanish literature, just in translation) over not.

[Whistler]

yeah, it tends to be a superiority thing within a niche. I'm trying to think of something you would relate to, maybe like Burberry vs. Coach? Or like which actress is the best? There's a trope in anime where characters often have "rivals" who become frenemies because they're in constant competition with each other. So it comes up most in top 10 lists or "who would win in a cage fight" or other curated collections ("I can't believe this library doesn't have any Nabokov!" is what I said after perusing my local library). I guess it's kind of silly, but it happens.

[Portia]

maybe like Burberry vs. Coach?

How much money do you think I make?!

[Whistler]

maybe like Burberry vs. Coach?

How much money do you think I make?!

lol, not that you spend money on that kind of thing, but you seem really aware of upper-class culture, especially regarding clothing and appearances! I figured you have an opinion?

[Portia]

maybe like Burberry vs. Coach?

How much money do you think I make?!

lol, not that you spend money on that kind of thing, but you seem really aware of upper-class culture, especially regarding clothing and appearances! I figured you have an opinion?

Well, obviously Burberry. ;) Although I do like some Coach fragrances, their bags are blah, and you can't go wrong with plaid.

If any of my fans have $900 they aren't going to spend feeding the hungry this Thanksgiving, you can send this my way.

[Portia]

And Louis Vuitton is the worst. That's probably why Woody Allen had Cate Blanchett (answer to "which actress is best?" incidentally) have LV luggage in Blue Jasmine. I just find the logo ugly.

Now a Hermès bag ... that could be fun. Once I went into a Hermès store in Bellevue. I didn't have many friends in Washington, so I'd go into high-end stores I couldn't afford, and the saleswomen were all so solicitous. Neiman Marcus is gorgeous. Then I'd go eat gelato and get too fat for the designer clothes. I only got skinny enough for them again when I was even less able to afford them. :P

[Whistler]

lol I knew you wouldn't let me down

[Portia]

lol I knew you wouldn't let me down

:D

[mic0]

Portia, that bag is lovely. $900 though... sigh.

This whole discussion reminds me of something Concealocanth wrote recently that I thought was really funny (Hi Concealocanth, if you read this!): She is immediately attracted to someone of the opposite gender when... "He is avidly perusing a Dostoevsky novel--bonus points if it's something other than Crime and Punishment."

[Portia]

Portia, that bag is lovely. $900 though... sigh.

This whole discussion reminds me of something Concealocanth wrote recently that I thought was really funny (Hi Concealocanth, if you read this!): She is immediately attracted to someone of the opposite gender when... "He is avidly perusing a Dostoevsky novel--bonus points if it's something other than Crime and Punishment."

Hmm, I missed that the first time around. (I should retire and just read the archives.)

A man playing the piano is so hot.
The way a guy carries himself. I'm obsessed with good posture.
If a guy is smiling: not crazy cheesy, but just looks pleasant.
Speaking a foreign language, as long as it's not an obvious RM being obvious.
Most importantly, eye contact. That ups your attractiveness a lot.
If a guy is present to his situation, and not tap-tap-tapping on a phone.
Hair. I know I'm a broken record on this one, but good hair is a must.

Reminds me of when Zooey Deschanel finds her husband in (500) Days because she's reading The Picture of Dorian Gray.

[Katya]

I just think she sounds too immature to be married, but as I get older, I think that of about everyone under 25.

Because you are so very old.

[Marduk]

IT IS A TWENTY SIDED DIE, NOT A TWELVE SIDED DIE

[Katya]

The thing that did give me pause in that question was the assumption that this guy would want to be exposing his kids to his R rated movies. While I love and own a handful of R rated movies, if my spouse were uncomfortable about our kids and those movies, I could easily store them somewhere out of sight and only watch them when the kids were asleep. In fact, I might do that even if my spouse doesn't worry about it. Keeping the kids and the movies separate seems easy to me--not a potential dealbreaker. If she's uncomfortable just having them in her home, though, I guess those solutions don't help.

I know a number of people who only choose to read or watch media that they would be comfortable having their children read or watch. I get the rationale behind that, but then sometimes those people assume that anyone who chooses to consume other media (R-rated movies being merely one example), must think it's OK for children to consume it, as well. That kind of logic frustrates me. One of my favorite movies is R-rated and I'm pretty clear that I wouldn't want my kids to watch it when they were young. (Actually, I saw it when I was almost 30, which seems about right. Maybe we need a PG-25 rating? ) If anything, not judging a film solely by its rating has made me more aware of the importance of making finer judgment calls in media consumption, for myself and my future children.